"but the world is ending soon, no way!!"
"but the world is ending soon, no way!!"
I hate it
After nearly 18mths of TTC, and just on a year of treatment (Clomid, injections, and then IVF) it wore really thin.
The worst was at a friend's birthday dinner, and we were seated near friends of hers that we didn't know. They asked the question, and I was very vague and said "Hopefully soon" and then a group of them all joined in and proceeded to tell us not to leave too big a gap, and how we should really start thinking about it... blah blah blah...
I was torn between trying not to burst into tears, and drowning my sorrows in my glass of wine, so I picked the latter!
And it doesn't even get better if you DO tell people you're doing fertility treatment. Then you get all the "Ooh just relax. If you go on holiday then that might help. I know someone who stopped IVF and THEN got pregnant" type comments. Or, because we have DD "Well at least if it doesn't work then you still have DD." Thanks for that.
Girl X I feel your pain!!!
I was the same in that we had been trying for number 2 for nearly 2 years and I had been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. Every time I was asked it was like a knife through my heart and reminded me how much of a failure I was.
My most horrible experience came at work when I went into the classroom of another teacher and right there in front of 25 Year 1 student she says to "So how's the baby making going?". I froze on the spot and stared at her and all the kids were looking at me. If only the ground could open up and swallow me. I just mumbled some thing like "Um it's going!" and raced out of there as quick as I could. It was the most awful thing imaginable! I know that she had no idea I was having trouble but what gives her the right to ask me that in the first place and in front of a class full of kids???
Fast forward to now and I finally have my second beautiful baby but I'm sure it won't be too long before it all starts again.
Tell them every time they ask you will put it off for another year.
The question about when we will have #2 annoys me even more because both DH and I long for another bub. DD is almost 1 but I haven't had the return of AF yet so just waiting waiting... When people ask it just reminds me of that. I know they just ask for something to say but it still becomes hard.
I get asked if Im going to give DH a girl as we have two boys... I say no and Im totally gobsmacked when Im told I HAVE to give him one!!
They shut up pretty quickly and go bright red with embarrassment when I tell them Ive had a hysterectomy!
We used to get asked all the time! Its no one's business but you & your partner's - I found those who asked so imposing & rude! We got married when DS was 15 months old so everyone assumed we would be TTC #2 immediately after the wedding - um no!! Sorry we weren't ready for another baby then!
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We get the opposite which drives me nuts aswell. We have a blended family of 7 children, and when people work out we have 7 I get "oh, you wont be having anymore" or "oh, do you really want another, you have enough now" "your so young, why did you want 7 kids"
*pulls hair out*
it drives me nuts because I do want another child, and who cares if I have 7, 17 or 47, its none of their business to judge! Only 1 of the 7 is my biological child anyway so why do they stick their nose in my business?
Got asked my least favorite question in the world again today by two separate random strangers.
I decided to use the 'oh.. never!' approach with one. She then looked at me with this look of grave concern like I'd just said I was never going to feed my son again or something equally as mortifying as that. She then said 'Oh no no no, you need to have another one!' Yep, thanks for the advice you silly old bat...!
Oh I hate this! I had an ectopic pregnancy in November, that no one bar family knew about. Over the Christmas period we got asked at least 3 times at each gathering we went too, I'd leave devastated each time!
Now that we are due with #2 (yay!).. And found out its another healthy boy we get "number 3 will be a girl, dont worry!". Ahh, thanks we weren't worried and thank you also for doing our family planning but we'll decide if or when we want number 3!
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