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  1. #1
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    Default People asking about when you'll have another kid...

    This is just a vent more than anything.

    DS is 21 months old. On average I get asked once or twice a week when we'll have another one and it's starting to really antagonize me. The thing is, I don't KNOW when we'll have another - all I know is that DH and I are not completely ready to just yet. I'm about 85% there, DH is maybe 50%. If DH was more 'onboard' with the idea we'd be TTC very soon... but he isn't and I'm not about to talk him into it as I think it needs to be a mutual decision. So our plan is to wait. We'll reassess in 6 months but for now we both have other things we would like to focus on, plus the fact we're just enjoying our DS. I feel like I have to suddenly justify all of this to anyone that asks. Like it's just soooo unusual for us to not have 2 under 2 or something?!?

    I know people ask 'when are you going to have #2?' because it's just something to say but I'm honestly worried I'll snap at the next person who asks. Perhaps I'm being a little sensitive about it but I also tend to think it's rude to ask when you don't know the person's background - I shudder to think how I'd respond if we WERE trying and having issues.

    Has anyone faced the same? What was your standard response?

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    ~Marigold~  (10-07-2012)

  3. #2
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    I started just answering that question with a short, sharp 'Never' - it generally shut them up. I was getting pretty over the question at that point
    Before then i'd just say something like 'I don't know' or 'One day, maybe' or 'You'll just have to wait and see' etc, something a bit vague and non-committal, then change the subject.

  4. #3
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    It's annoying hey?
    We always get asked. I normally say something like "i have only just got my sleep back I'm not ready to give it up just yet"
    I'm in the same boat, my DD is 22months and somewhere down the track I imagine we will try to have another but DH & I want to focus on other things right now and enjoy spending time with our DD.
    I constantly get hassled from my family saying "but you have to have them close together so they will grow up and play together" so sick of hearing that one...

  5. #4
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    Has anyone? I think your question should be who hasn't encountered this! Lol.

    We have ALL had it said to us I guarantee it :-)

    It's worse when you're like us and you only have one child and only ever want one child.. Or even worse than that I'd people who can't have more but want to. All you can do is smile and say "maybe one day" and make sure you never ask that question to anyone else.

    ***Sent from my phone***

  6. #5
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    I found people were a little less hesitant to ask when we didn't have any kids if we were ever going to have kids, although even then people did ask. But once I had one child it was open slather for anyone to ask when I was going to have #2. I ended up with a nearly 5 year gap and so I got asked it A LOT! As time went by and my close family & friends saw that we were struggling with lots of issues (not TTC - we didn't let anyone know when we were TTCing) ... and those people stopped asking. But, random people still asked quite a bit. Honestly, I can't remember exactly what my answer was, but it was usually something non committal, like 'maybe we'll have another one day'.

    The hardest time was when I got a new job and I went to their Christmas dinner just before I started. That morning I'd found out I wasn't pregnant and we'd made the difficult decision to put TTC on hold as I'd got this new job on a 12 month contract. Then, at the dinner one of the bosses (not my direct boss) joked with me about having more children ... as long as it wasn't while I worked for them. He realised what he said as he said it and back tracked and said ... well, not until near the end of the year anyway. I was SO upset and yet SO thankful that I hadn't found out that morning that I was pregnant! Thankfully for me I got through that year and was 6 weeks pregnant when I finished that contract.

  7. #6
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    I get asked daily and it is very very annoying!!!

    We are still happy with the one so it gets more annoying when we are told we are being selfish and have to give her a brother or sister!

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    Ugh I hated this question! The first time I got asked was when DS was 2 days old. My answer then and afterwards was "Oh probably around 9 months after I fall pregnant again. Although to be honest we're kinda hoping for a unicorn next time."

    Nobody ever asked twice!

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ChickyBee For This Useful Post:

    LilPetal  (11-07-2012),shelle65  (10-07-2012),VicPark  (10-07-2012),~Marigold~  (10-07-2012)

  10. #8
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    I hate this question! We've lost 2 babies in 6 months so it really hurts when people ask. I'm pretty close to just telling them that we've lost 2 and are seeing a fertility specialist now, just to shut them up.

    I also hate when people say "you're lucky, you only have one child, try having 2/3/4"... uhhhh ok? I am trying you know.... argh.

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    I used to say something like "well once we get home we'll give it a good shot" and that usually shut them up.

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    ~Marigold~  (10-07-2012)

  13. #10
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    I don't ask.

    You just don't know what is going on in peoples lives. Some people have had losses or trouble TTC, I would hate to upset someone just because I'm nosey (which I am totally not!).

    We get asked now and then as we only have one child. I just tell them we don't know if we'll have another, and it's the truth.

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    ~Marigold~  (10-07-2012)


 

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