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  1. #11
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    I'm so glad that you have got someone to listen, and please do update us on how things are going because i'm very interested to know. My 3 year old is just like your child and he can often get hypo, will not listen, hits us and his 1 year old brother. Depending on his moods will depend on whether i can have him around other child (sometimes) because he can be nasty and hit other children. He's rather loud aswell. I have seeing GP's for the past 6 months for referrals but to no avail. Because my DS is a twrrible sleeper, it has been put down to insomina for his bad behaviour and tantrums ...... but funny enough, no one has diagnosed him with insomia.

  2. #12
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    Sorry for the terrible spelling in myabove post - thats what happens when i'm in a terrible rush to write and post before kids start to play up!!!

  3. #13
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    Emma26 - I will definitely update. Its hard having such an unpredictable child isn't it. I don't think we have ever had a single playdate (seriously) where DS doesn't do anything rough to another kid. There is always something, sand throwing, jumping on, tackling, pushing, hitting, frightening the other kids. Its so frustrating isn't it?!

    DS doesn't *get it*. We talk about what not to do on the way to playdates in the car, talk about playing gently and I even remind him of games to play (running races, building sandcastles, looking for bugs etc) and he knows intellectually BEFORE we get there what to do and not to do, but can't seem to control himself once he is in the situation. Does my head in!

    Anyway, good luck, and feel free to vent on this thread!

  4. #14
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    Just a thought.. . Have you researchers Sensory processing disorder in particular sensory seeking?

    ***Sent from my phone***

  5. #15
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    I would also recommend using lots of visuals of appropriate behaviour. Create a picture book about "play dates", read it alot and take it with you to the playdate. When he starts acting out, pull him aside and go through the book and appropriate ways to play etc. Visuals REALLY do help ALOT more than audio instructions :-)

    ***Sent from my phone***

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy2be3 View Post
    I would also recommend using lots of visuals of appropriate behaviour. Create a picture book about "play dates", read it alot and take it with you to the playdate. When he starts acting out, pull him aside and go through the book and appropriate ways to play etc. Visuals REALLY do help ALOT more than audio instructions :-)

    ***Sent from my phone***
    Thank you! That is something I hadn't thought of at all and sounds really sensible! I could draw the pictures. And I was actually just googling sensory disorders the other day and came across sensory seeking, it sounded like a possibility except I don't notice any seeking behaviors when he is alone (he's not affectionate, doesn't rub again furniture etc) ... ?

  7. #17
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    I am in a similar position, since DS1 was 1 he has been too rough with other children he would often bite them which became a real issue but most of the time he pushes and just generally is way to rough. He is a few months off 4 and we are still looking for answers. Early on the paed we saw put it down to frustration with speech delay, we starting speech therapy and I put him in childcare 2 mornings a week to help with his socialising skills. He continued to bite and be aggressive with other children for no apparent reason. I did a parenting course thinking it might have been something I was doing and also started sign language which the childcare centre also used with him. His speech improved in time and by age 3 he was on par with other kids his age.
    Recently we saw a psychologist for 4 sessions, her opinion was he has a strain of Autism and referred us to a speech therapist who would assist with diagnosing as she wasn't qualified to. At the same time we started the failsafe diet thinking it may be food related, after 6 weeks on the strict diet he did improve out of site, he was the gorgeous boy we see even when mixing with other kids, I was able to take him to the park and for the first time sit and chat with other mums while he played nicely! with the other children, I was so happy. But for the last 2 weeks he has been going back to his old ways, pushing other children, not sharing, hurting his little brother ALL the time and even bit a boy at 3 yo kinder yesterday. I am now of the opinion that although the food does make a difference it's not our answer. I will continue on the failsafe diet. I have also made an app with a pead that was recommended to me which we see next Friday, I am praying and hoping for some answers soon. I'd be interested if others can relate to these things:
    I can tell within 30 min of him waking if it's going to be a good day or not, on a good day he is obedient, chatty, calm, loving. On a bad day, he has often wet the bed over night, generally wakes 30 min earlier then normal (although I think sleep does make a difference I don't think it's the cause, he goes to bed at 6.30-7pm and wakes between 6 - 7am) he will push his brother and take things from him, refuse to do EVERYTHING I ask, he will tantrum over every little thing. He can't stand to be told anything, for example he was helping me wash dishes the other day and I said in a happy voice "make sure you keep the wet cloth over the sink" well he cracked it and looked up at the roof (which is what he does when he is angry). Yesterday at the shops he said with worry in his voice "why is everyone looking at me"? they weren't but it's not the first time he has said that, that makes me think he has low self-esteem/confidence which makes me so sad. We also have trouble with swimming lessons each week, every week I have to convince him to get in the pool, once he is in he loves it. At kinder during term 2 they bought in a new rule you have to wash your hands before session, every session I have to battle with him to do it. Seems he doesn't like change. He does love playing with other kids though, it seems sometimes the behavior is linked to him getting so excited about playing.
    I have found this to be so challenging, it's awful when it's always your child hurting other kids. We can't simply go to the playground without me worrying and hoping no other children will be there. He is a switched on kid, and is adorable on a good day. We are also very strict and have never let him get away with hurting other children, I have always followed through with threats such as leaving where ever we are.
    Would love to hear if others can relate or suggest anything?

  8. #18
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    Default Anyone else had a long-term aggressive toddler but no diagnosable issue?

    Another update. On Monday the Psych came and did an observation for about an hour and a half at home. He was very well behaved for the first half but I was giving him attention and guiding his play (playdough, pushing on swings, watching on trampoline) but when she suggested we take all the attention away and for her and I to move inside away from him all hell broke loose. He became loud and obnoxious, demanding and attention seeking, he threw picture frames and DVDs and cushions, he hit the other kids and destroyed there playdough creations, he ran around tantrumming and slamming doors repeatedly. It was great!! She said she thinks there is definitely something underlying and thinks it might be ADHD, she gave me a bunch of evaluations to fill out and asked me to book at assessment with our top local paed. That's booked for end of Oct so hopefully we are getting somewhere!!

    On a side note, today I had a melt down at him and had to call a friend and sob "it's me, can you come and get him away from me?". I will collect him shortly and hopefully we can start fresh for the arvo :-( its so difficult.


 

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