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  1. #11
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    The sooner women stop judging and competing with each other the better.

    No one does it right or wrong, just differently.

    If women as a whole stopped treating each other as the enemy and actually banded together, the changes that could be made in the world would be astounding.

    OP I'm sorry if you're feeling attacked for your situation. Just go about your life with your head held high, knowing that you are providing the absolute best you can for your child.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    Yep. I agree. So tired of this debate right now. There is no perfect way to raise a child. My mum worked full time all my life. My mum is god damn amazing. I don't ever think "oh gee I wish my mum had been able to do tuckshop" or "god I hated that daycare centre, I hated playing with other kids all the time." Any issues I may have experienced because my mum wasn't "there enough".. well I've built a bridge to get over that.. since now I work with women who really struggle financially. Have no roof over their families heads, can't afford food or medicine. Puts it all in perspective.
    me neither. I never even thought about it. Kids don't seem to care about this kind of thing as nosey adults who can't keep out of other people's business.

    My dad is in a field where there is VERY little money. But he helps people immensely all over the world. He, and my mum, have never had any interest whatsoever in being rich or having investment properties or nice cars. Nil.

    So my mum worked so we could eat and have a roof over our heads. So my dad could follow his passion.

    She worked through chemotherapy. Which she is about to do again.

    She did it for US!

    If the roles were reversed and my dad worked hard to feed us he would be labelled a hero. Because it was my mum, and she is a mother, she's labelled a devil. Selfish, wanting it all, not maternal blah blah blah.

    My mum is the most amazing, caring, thoughtful, selfless, beautiful, incredible woman I know and she raised me!

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    bumMum  (10-07-2012),rainbow road  (10-07-2012),shelle65  (10-07-2012)

  5. #13
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    I haven't had my baby but am already sick of being told that no matter what I choice to wrong to some ppl.

    Stay at home, go back to work, work full time, work part, child in care, child in FDC - everyone has an opinion on everything.

    We are going to do what we think is right and best given our circumstance - I would love to be a SAHM indefinately but in reality it prob isn't possible.

  6. #14
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    I have been in a position where my child was sick and I was not only unable to pay for the medication, but also unable to put fuel in the car to get to a centre that could cover it for us. Those were bad times. When I had no childcare and no option of work. No family to bail us out. Nothing. So she stayed sick longer than necessary. That earns the label of neglect. Working to avoid the situation earns the label of selfish mother.

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I have been in a position where my child was sick and I was not only unable to pay for the medication, but also unable to put fuel in the car to get to a centre that could cover it for us. Those were bad times. When I had no childcare and no option of work. No family to bail us out. Nothing. So she stayed sick longer than necessary. That earns the label of neglect. Working to avoid the situation earns the label of selfish mother.
    When I was a single sahm I was 50kgs because what little money I had for food I had to make sure that DS was eating properly. I came second.

    It annoys me that the word 'choice' is thrown around so much. Heck, I'm sure my DP didn't 'want' or 'choose' to go to work this morning but heck we all have to do what we have to to survive whether it be stay home while they are little or return to work after a short amount of maternity leave. I never chose this life per se. I do what I can to make things better for my family.

  8. #16
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I have been in a position where my child was sick and I was not only unable to pay for the medication, but also unable to put fuel in the car to get to a centre that could cover it for us. Those were bad times. When I had no childcare and no option of work. No family to bail us out. Nothing. So she stayed sick longer than necessary. That earns the label of neglect. Working to avoid the situation earns the label of selfish mother.

    I hope nothing I have said today or yesterday has upset you or seemed like a personal attack on you or your choices I was just having my own vent about everyone judging me for what I do/plan to do/don't plan to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    I hope nothing I have said today or yesterday has upset you or seemed like a personal attack on you or your choices I was just having my own vent about everyone judging me for what I do/plan to do/don't plan to do.
    No, the threads on working mums and stay at home mums were what caused it, I read your posts as nothing more than your own situation. But thanks

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    My mum worked and studied most of my childhood, partly so that my siblings and I could attend a fantastic private school and partly because she wanted to have her own career.

    While I suppose at the time I would have liked her being there to pick me up from school every day and do SAHM-type things, I look back now and realise just what a brilliant job she did setting me up for life in providing me with a top-notch education, amazing opportunities and experiences, and the best example of a mother who sacrificed a lot for her family but still followed her own dreams.

    Working with 3 kids and a husband often away on business was fricking hard work, and I think she was (and still is) amazing and the best mum I could have hoped for.

  12. #19
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    I am just so over all this nonsense.

    We all do the best we can under the circumstance we find ourselves in. Not everyone has same resources or situation. It is just so silly to compare at all.

    I have done both the sahm and the working mum and the part-time working/sahm thing and the one thing I can tell you is that they are all hard work, full.stop. For me.

    I just want to eat chocolate when we all start arguing over this

  13. #20
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    I think it depends on how you chose to look at things, I was one of 4 dad worked mum stayed home and made as much as she could from scratch family helped by bringing meat and eggs from the farm, we had it tight, but mum made sure we were never with out the basics.
    Mum got a job when the youngest was in yr 7 working in a school so during school hours,
    My older brother is determined to pay off his house before kids, and almost has, he never wants that struggle and wants to say no to his kids out of choice not because he cant afford it.
    My younger brother wants his wife to stay home with the baby, they struggle but he learnt enough from my parents to make it through,
    My little sister, expects it all to be handed to her on a plate, her hubby is the same (I put this down to the fact when mum started work she spent alot on us. She has always felt bad even though we are happy and loved our childhood, so my little sister was spoilt)
    My partner and I bout a house in a cheap area and we are frugal,Live within our means, my parents taught us a lot and we always had fun,
    Ok rambling a bit but I think it doesn't matter what your parents did it comes down to what u learn from it.
    Me I wouldn't want it any other way... It was hard not seeing alot of dad, but they were doing their best for us kids, that's what counts


 

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