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  1. #1
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    Default Implications of using Donor Sperm - what do we need to consider?

    Hi there. After 9mths of trying we are devastated to find out that hubby has no sperm :-( We are going through the ropes of getting tests done to see if there is any sperm that can be extracted surgically, which we can use with IVF. The next step if this fails is asking FIL whether he would be willing to donate. Failing that - we are looking at using donor sperm.

    Using donor sperm through a clinic is expensive and the waiting list is timely. I have found DIY-baby.com - free private sperm donors. What are the legal implications of using a private donor? Do you just all sign an agreement stating that the donor has no legal rights or responsibilities for the child? And what happens with my hubby? He will be our baby's daddy - does he get his name on the birth certificate? Does he take on all of the legal responsibilities? Or does he then need to adopt the child? SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT!

    Any help would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Elestrial's Avatar
    Elestrial is offline recognising possibilities again. Thank you God!
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    Quote Originally Posted by motochic View Post
    What are the legal implications of using a private donor? Do you just all sign an agreement stating that the donor has no legal rights or responsibilities for the child? And what happens with my hubby? He will be our baby's daddy - does he get his name on the birth certificate? Does he take on all of the legal responsibilities? Or does he then need to adopt the child?
    hello moto (sorry couldn't help myself )
    so I will try to answer what questions I know.
    my husband and I are using my BIL as a sperm donor, because DH has no sperm. We have all had to go through counselling to make sure we have clear boundaries and know what we're getting into. We have all had to have blood tests. BIL has had to talk about my lady parts and I have had to talk about him masterbating, all with my husband sitting beside us. It was very strange. But not as detailed or awkward as it sounds.
    BIL has legal rights over his sperm, but once they hit my eggs, he no longer has any rights. They become mine and DH's. So any embryos are ours (this can change if we later decide to donate any leftover). DH will be on the birth certificate. And BIL wil have no legal or financial role in the rest of the story.
    I don't know anything about private/anonymous donation, but hopefully there are others how can give you that info. And remember you can chat with your FS, that's what they're there for. I also think the counsellor was the best thing we did and wish we had done it earlier in our journey.

    This is a really long process, and is emotionally exhausting. Please MSG me if you want to chat. My TTC journal is useless, as I haven't updated it in a looooong time. I had to walk away from the hub as I was wiped out emotionally and couldn't be here. But I am now happy healthy and on our way to a baby, so am happy to tell you anything you want.
    good luck and best wishes.
    e

  3. #3
    Elestrial's Avatar
    Elestrial is offline recognising possibilities again. Thank you God!
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    I forgot to say we have all signed paperwork that says BIL is giving the sperm to DH and and that if he dies we keep it and we have signed paperwork to say we consent to keep it. Again the FS will give you everything you need.
    e

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    Quote Originally Posted by motochic View Post
    Hi there. After 9mths of trying we are devastated to find out that hubby has no sperm :-( We are going through the ropes of getting tests done to see if there is any sperm that can be extracted surgically, which we can use with IVF. The next step if this fails is asking FIL whether he would be willing to donate. Failing that - we are looking at using donor sperm.

    Using donor sperm through a clinic is expensive and the waiting list is timely. I have found DIY-baby.com - free private sperm donors. What are the legal implications of using a private donor? Do you just all sign an agreement stating that the donor has no legal rights or responsibilities for the child? And what happens with my hubby? He will be our baby's daddy - does he get his name on the birth certificate? Does he take on all of the legal responsibilities? Or does he then need to adopt the child? SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT!

    Any help would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks
    Sorry have nothing helpful to contribute but just wanted to say what a fabulous idea to ask fil!


 

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