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  1. #1
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    Default No breastfeeding role models....dont know what to do next :(

    Okay I need some advise ladies!

    DD is no 3 and with DS1 I weaned at 8 months to go back to work and DS2 I weaned at 6 months.

    Now DD is almost 8 months and I am stuck at what happens next.

    I dont have any good breastfeeding role models in my family. Sis weaned both her kids at 6 months, SIL weaned DS1 at 4 months and with her second she didnt breastfeed at all because it was easier to use the bottle. Even MIL and Mum both only Bfd til 1 year.

    In my area I truly think I am the only BFer around. Whenever I go to parents rooms everyone pulls out a bottle while I pull out a boob. Yes I know that there could be EBM in the bottles but its the fact the I am the only one visibly breastfeeding.

    I was chatting to a couple of mums at primary school about that mum on the magazine BFing her 3 yo and the mums were 'Thats disgusting' and 'how can she do that', etc. Comments like that make me wonder what they would think about me and BFing past 12mo.

    DD and I really struggled at the start to BF (DD lost weight, sore nipples, etc) but we have an awesome BFing relationship now.

    I want to continue BFing but just feel there is no support around me as noone else seems to be doing it. I guess I feel alone and very awkward when out and about when I do need to feed as it seems to foreign IYKWIM. Like if there were other women about doing it I wouldnt think about it so much.

    Not sure what I am asking for but should I just keep BFing and dont think about what others think?

    DP is happy for me to continue as long as I want because as he says "its cheaper that way"

    Obviously I think about what I ingest but what happens when you extend BF and need surgery? Or drugs like anti inflammatories et al? I also hate my boobs as they are so large (GG) and I just feel like I am all boob....like its a huge focus point.

    I guess I just didnt have a plan for after 8 months and now its almost here I dont know what happens next! I am very proud and happy to be BFing my baby and she is thriving on my milk. It fills me with such joy to know that only because of me and the nutrition she gets from me is making her so healthy.

    Your thoughts and advise will be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
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    Have you thought about joining your local ABA group? You can put your postcode into the website for details

    I joined when my first was about 8 months and I didn't know any other breastfeeders either.

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  4. #3
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    Could you join an ABA group?

    Unfortunately, in Australia, only a minority of babies are breastfed beyond 6 months, but that is still quite a large group in numbers term. While you don't see them, they exist.

    I think the important thing is that you know it's best, you know it's normal, so you just keep going.

    I fed my son until 2, and as he got older the feeds just decreased. Within a few months after he turned 2, I was sick to death of feeding, and weaned him.

    I would just take it one day at a time. If you need surgery or drugs, you deal with it at the time.

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    Congrats for getting this far.

    I breastfed my DS until he was 12months (was the only mum in my mums group who bf after 4months). I also fell pregnant again when he was 10months so started to wean those last two months. If I hadn't fell pregnant I would have continued to breastfeed until about 18months.

    I think do what you feel is the right thing, if she is thriving than I probably wouldn't stop.

    Try to ignore what others are doing around you and feel very proud that you are still able to breastfeed and enjoy it.

    Hope this helps

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    You've got us!

    Hang in there mama you're doing a great job. There's no point stopping when you and bubs are happy with it, just keep reminding yourself of that!

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    FluffyDucks  (08-07-2012)

  10. #6
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    drewid is offline Meet the amazing boy who falls asleep with a sandwich in his mouth!
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    I say be proud and continue to do it if that's what you want to do. And instead of feeling like there are no role models around you, consider YOURSELF to be a role model for the mums/mums to be around you!

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    I know how you feel. I'm thinking of joining my local ABA group. I breastfed my first till 10 months but he was mix fed and it was a feed or two a day. I think friends sighed with releif when he stopped. Now I have a 12 month bf dd and I keep getting the "when are you going to wean?" And truth is.. I have no idea.
    I live in an area where there are some very extended breastfeeders, mostly from other cultures.. and then also a LOT of women who only bf for a short time. The thing is our local hospital is rubbish, there are a lot of teen mums with little support and people get advice like "oh your baby cries a lot? Feed him formula." "Oh your baby wakes at night. Feed him formula." "Oh your baby weighed 9 pound. Feed him formula." So a lot of women never even got past 6 weeks. However It's kind of okay as I don't feel completely weird as there are other women openly feeding, but yes I am beginning to get the question. Mostly from random women I don't even know.. and well meaning family.
    Funnily, I was discussing weaning with another mum at kindy the other day, and an African woman asked if I was trying to wean my 4 year old .. she asked in a very straight out way so I knew she was 100 percent serious! I thought that was very sweet. It makes me really question why we are so freaked out by bf into toddlerhood. Wish it was more normal to see.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

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    I understand how you feel - I also have big breasts and just weaned DS at 16 months - I was planning on going to at least 2 but got pregnant and couldn't bear it anymore.

    From 8 months all I got was questions on when I was planning on weaning and worried concern that I might be one of "those women" feeding their 3 year old (FFS!!)

    Maybe think of all the women on bubhub who feed their toddlers, perhaps hang out in the breastfeeding section a bit? Know that you are definitely not odd for BFing and you are helping change people's perceptions.

    A friend of mine who FF her first because BFing was "not natural" () us determinedly BFing her second baby and I'm pretty sure that me BFing DS past 1 year around her and talking about how easy and convenient it is, lovely snuggling and feeding in bed, has helped change her perceptions. So by BFing your DD you are doing a great thing and making BFing a toddler a normal thing in society.

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    Also, while I think you should feed whenever and wherever you like - if you really feel uncomfortable why not just cut down to morning and night feed? That's better than weaning totally.

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  18. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laksa View Post
    Have you thought about joining your local ABA group? You can put your postcode into the website for details

    I joined when my first was about 8 months and I didn't know any other breastfeeders either.
    I guess ABA hadnt crossed my mind at all. Its probably a horrible sterotype but for some reason I have always thought women in the ABA are the really 'gung ho breast feed at all costs' type of women and I suppose I have been a bit frightend? of contacting them.

    I will check out the website and work up the nerve


 

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