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  1. #1
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    Default Leaving grandkids out

    I feel hurt right now. Last night my nana arrived to stay to sort out one of my cousins. She was talking about taking the little grandkids to the movies. She is taking an 11yr old, 4yr old and a 3yr old. There was no mention of my DS in there at all.

    Nana does alot for the other grandkids, buys new clothes, expensive toys and whatever for them but my DS always misses out. Heck, he never even got a call for his birthday.

    I feel hurt. I have done alot for her esp over the last year. I never get thanked, she always calls me up whinging and now she is with me for a week or so(undisclosed time as she wouldnt tell me exactly how long she was staying for) i am running around, going to have to be mindful of DS and the noise he might make, having to do everything for her.

    Each fortnight she gives me rent money for my cousins share of the house. I can afford to pay her share but why should i when she is capable to pay but as she doesnt nana pays it and i am not here for a free rode esp as i work my backside off to get where i am.

    It just seems like there is no effort with her wanting to know DS.

    I am just a place to stay as i have the room where nobody else does or they are too far away from the northside for her to stay at.

    It just bothers me greatly she doesnt care for DS like she does the others. Why does he have to miss out? I know it would be a different story if he was a girl as she favours girls over boys but the 3yr old is a boy.

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    Have you talked to her about it?

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    Wow, my first impression is that she's pretty rude staying with you but not including your DS. On the other hand, do you think she could be thinking that she is staying with your DS so she'll see him all week but is making a special outing to see the other kids for a once off? I still think that would be mean, but maybe that's how she sees it?

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    Have you ever asked her why?

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    When she next mentions going out with the ggkids, just ask does she want you to pack a day bag (food/water/hat/jacket) for DS and does he need a little spending money?

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    Quote Originally Posted by insanity View Post
    Have you ever asked her why?
    No because i am scared of what she will say. She can be very nasty at times. Her and mum havent spoken for about 9mths now because of issues with mum and her sisters and she always favours her other daughters over mum.

    She wont be spending much time with coop. She is seeig the others most days and he is back at school tomorrow as holidays finish today.

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    Frankly I think you need to pull her up.

    It's very rude to treat a child that way. I'd be saying to her that when she can be bothered to make as much effort with him as she does with the others, she'll see him and yourself again. Until then, she'll just have to get used to not seeing you.

    Harsh maybe, but I'm a firm believer in the notion that a half assed effort is just as bad as a non-existant effort. It's damaging to them for them to think "Why does xxxx only like me SOME of the time".

    LET her be nasty. You're not someone that she can just drop in on when she needs somewhere to stay, and your son is just as deserving as the other kids. If you feel yourself start to be intimidated by her responses, just wrap yourself up in the knowledge that SHE'S the one being cruel to a child! Your child. I wouldn't put up with that for my DS for a second.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Myztiks#1Fan View Post
    Her and mum havent spoken for about 9mths now because of issues with mum and her sisters and she always favours her other daughters over mum.

    I think that might be a part of the problem. You are the child of the person she doesn't want to talk to.
    My sister despises me and because DS just happens to be MY son, she despises him too He hasn't done anything wrong, has never even seen her or spoken to her, it's just the way her twisted brain works.

    I really think you need to have a chat with her. Maybe sit down with a cuppa tonight when Coop is in bed and just quietly ask her why she favours the other grandkids. Stay tactful at all times and if she does turn nasty, then I hope the door will hit her where the good Lord split her.
    I mean, reading your story, she seems to be more of a bother than an asset to you, so surely you wouldn't miss her too much if she cracks the poo's with you for asking her why Coop doesn't get included with outings and her birthday budget.

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    I think you really need to talk to her, before your DS starts to notice the difference, if he hasn't already. If she turns mean and nasty, just tell her you don't want her kind of influence around your DS, and to please leave until she can put her big girl panties on and act like a grown adult, and not bring issues she has with other people down on an innocent child.

    Good luck. I know how difficult and intimidating grandparents can be.


 

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