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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Is anyone actually reading lily of the nile's posts? She isn't saying you shouldn't co-sleep, she is saying if you do you should follow guidelines. Why is that bad? What is so bad about guidelines? They have them for *everything*. Sometimes I think that some of you see attacks on your choices when there really isn't any.
    Well she is actually saying you shouldn't co-sleep but if you do there are guidelines in place. I have an issue with the original article which makes a blanket statement about co-sleeping when there is a big difference in the ways people co-sleep and the level of risk involved.
    Personally it doesn't really affect me any more my babies are school aged now but I think there are so many benefits from co-sleeping and for many people it becomes an inevitable situation, it's important to highlight the real causes not simplify it.

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    I agree with you about the article it is one person, talking about 4 cases, I would never take that as gospel. I have no desire to co-sleep with a baby, but if people choose to do it, then that is fine, it doesn't affect me in any way.


    Quote Originally Posted by luvmyboys View Post
    Well she is actually saying you shouldn't co-sleep but if you do there are guidelines in place. I have an issue with the original article which makes a blanket statement about co-sleeping when there is a big difference in the ways people co-sleep and the level of risk involved.
    Personally it doesn't really affect me any more my babies are school aged now but I think there are so many benefits from co-sleeping and for many people it becomes an inevitable situation, it's important to highlight the real causes not simplify it.

  3. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by luvmyboys View Post
    I think it is irresponsible to promote the 'co-sleeping is not safe' message as it makes people think they shouldn't do it so they don't plan for it and when they are exhausted and just 'fall into it' it is unsafe. There should be an education program on safe co-sleeping so people can make an educated choice that is safe and works for them.
    That's a warped reason for not speaking out against co-sleeping. If there is a co-sleeping warning out there..one would hope parents would do the research before co-sleeping. If there's no such warning out there you'd probably get lots more parents co-sleeping irresponsibly.
    If a parent allows themselves to 'fall into it' without doing research then they are negligent and if something bad happens to bub they should be charged.

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If a parent allows themselves to 'fall into it' without doing research then they are negligent and if something bad happens to bub they should be charged.
    Because losing a baby won't be punishment enough?

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    I don't think people should be charged. I know too many parents who want to sleep their baby on a pillow or on their tummy or whatever, I don't think they deliberately ignore guidelines. I don't think it's sensible.

    I lost my brother to sids when he was 6 months old. Back then, my parents were told to sleep him on his tummy to avoid him choking on spit up. My poor mum has heard it all about how parents who lose their babies to sids are negligent or suffocated them on purpose because they didn't want them.

    This topic is extremely upsetting and I hate seeing the finger being pointed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If a parent allows themselves to 'fall into it' without doing research then they are negligent and if something bad happens to bub they should be charged.
    This is ridiculous. Just because a parent doesn't research it before hand, doesn't mean that they don't follow safe sleeping guidelines. I didn't do the full research into the benefits of cosleeping before starting it, but I had done a quick read of the same sleeping guidelines and adapted it for my family.

    Should a parent whose baby dies in a separate room from there parents be charged because the SIDS recommendation is co-sleeping (sleeping in the same room, but a different surface) until 12 months - no, of course they shouldn't!!!

    What happens if the parent follows safe sleeping guidelines for bed sharing and the baby passes away from SIDS (different from suffocation), should they then be charged? No of course not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smallpotatoes View Post
    This is ridiculous. Just because a parent doesn't research it before hand, doesn't mean that they don't follow safe sleeping guidelines. I didn't do the full research into the benefits of cosleeping before starting it, but I had done a quick read of the same sleeping guidelines and adapted it for my family.

    Should a parent whose baby dies in a separate room from there parents be charged because the SIDS recommendation is co-sleeping (sleeping in the same room, but a different surface) until 12 months - no, of course they shouldn't!!!

    What happens if the parent follows safe sleeping guidelines for bed sharing and the baby passes away from SIDS (different from suffocation), should they then be charged? No of course not.
    It sounds like you did do research, even if it was only a quick read.

    SIDS and suffocation are different. With suffocation there is a clear link. Parent did wrong, baby died. parents that co-sleep irresponsibly and suffocate their children should be charged. It won't bring bub back but it may act as a deterrent to others co-sleeping irresponsibly.

    Eg mum and dad are both smokers, got drunk, slept baby in their bed with blankets everywhere and baby suffocated. Damn right they should be charged.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    That's a warped reason for not speaking out against co-sleeping. If there is a co-sleeping warning out there..one would hope parents would do the research before co-sleeping. If there's no such warning out there you'd probably get lots more parents co-sleeping irresponsibly.
    If a parent allows themselves to 'fall into it' without doing research then they are negligent and if something bad happens to bub they should be charged.
    It's not warped at all
    Co sleeping is bad = parents decide not to do it for fear of derision/death (not educated)
    parent is up and down to baby all night long = exhausted
    Falls asleep with baby in unsafe sleeping place = increased risk of death
    Baby dies in unsafe co-sleeping environment = co-sleeping is dangerous and the cycle continues

    Co-sleeping can be done safely if you do AB&C = parents can freely make an informed and educated choice.

    I think parents do a lot of things without 'research' does that make all of them negligent?

    I think to help reduce the incidence of SIDS and/or accidental suffocation the message needs to change to be more realistic and they need to stop thinking parents are morons who won't understand the difference between unsafe co-sleeping and safe co-sleeping if they are given information.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Eg mum and dad are both smokers, got drunk, slept baby in their bed with blankets everywhere and baby suffocated. Damn right they should be charged.
    that wouldn't be sids. I agree if you care for your baby while drunk and suffocate baby yes, there should be charges.

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  12. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Just because someone fell into co sleeping doesn't automatically mean it wasn't an educated process and isn't done safely it just means it wasn't planned from the get go
    But it wasn't done purely because you think it's the safest way to sleep (which is what isbeing suggested with research claims). You found it easier and wanted/needed to, THEN did some reading to make sure you're doing it safely.

    Quote Originally Posted by luvmyboys View Post
    And then some fool comes along and says it is dangerous full stop
    What fool are you talking about? The coroner came to this conclusion and sids and kids victoria support it. Are you suggesting these people are fools and should ignore the findings and guidelines?

    Quote Originally Posted by luvmyboys View Post
    Well she is actually saying you shouldn't co-sleep but if you do there are guidelines in place. I have an issue with the original article which makes a blanket statement about co-sleeping when there is a big difference in the ways people co-sleep and the level of risk involved.
    Personally it doesn't really affect me any more my babies are school aged now but I think there are so many benefits from co-sleeping and for many people it becomes an inevitable situation, it's important to highlight the real causes not simplify it.
    I'm actually saying there are guidelines to safe sleeping, sids and kids recommend if you can, the safest place to put the baby to sleep is on their back, in their own sleep space, in your room, no obstructions in their cot etc etc. If you need to co-sleep there are guidelines in place to do this safely, but the recommendations are as above. As I said previously I once woke up after feeding dd with my hand covering her face even though I was within the safe co-sleeping guidelines. There was no reason for me not to follow them after this and I made sure I did, putting her back in her cot beside my bed instead.

    I'm not pointing fingers at anyone or calling anyone irresponsible. I said people are irresponsible when they tell people not to follow guidelines. I co-sleep with my 16month old and sometimes my 3 yr old, I'm not against it and I understand it, but I don't agree with it while they're babies. If you need or want to then be aware how to do it safely. The guidelines are there for a reason, and it's wrong to tell people sids and kids recommendations are wrong. If you don't like being told you shouldn't co-sleep with babies or the research is wrong/inadequate for you, take it up with the SIDS organisation, but don't post it as fact here for new parents to think it's safer than what the recommendations are saying.

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