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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandramm1 View Post
    I too am overweight and would be hesitant to give anyone advice on being healthier as its the pot calling the kettle black don't you think?
    I tend to agree you might get a nasty response back.

    Im sure she knows what he looks like and is aware what she is feeding him. It's not like you are going to mention it and she will all of a sudden stop feeding him crap.

    I would leave it, I know you are worried but I highly doubt talking to her will make any difference.

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    Don't say anything. He's 3 and has a right to be a child without worrying about his weight. His mum isn't blind and would know what size he is. You may see him eating poor but that's because your probably seeing them is social situations where mums are letting their kids eat junk food to keep the peace.

    My daughters GP made a comment about my daughters weight and watching out for childhood obesity when she was 2 weeks old. WTF??? She is off the charts for height and weight and eats normally. I don't want to be scared to let her eat a biscuit in public for fear of people judging us. If you saw a skinny child eating what the "sumo wrestler" eats would you care?

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    I wouldn't say anything. I also certainly wouldn't talk to her mum about it. I'd be very upset if a friend of mine was contacting my mum over concerns about my parenting.

    If she asks, then by all means be honest.

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    I don't think you should say anything. She knows her child as I am sure does the child's doctor etc. If it was my child and you said something I would think it highly rude.

    I have two children, they are 3 years apart. One is tiny for her age and the other is big for her age. In fact my younger weighs more than her older sister. They eat pretty much the exact same things. Yet there is such a difference in their body types. We don't ALL share the same body types etc. Let children be children.

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  7. #15
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    Just curious....what is the husband like? Is he skinny and petite as well?

    Could be genetics if hubby is big and tall.

    If situations were reversed how would you want someone to approach you if your child was overweight? Maybe then take the same approach with your friend.

    If she is a close friend you should be able to sit down with her and just be open and honest. She may be upset initially but then maybe she might be grateful as she has someone to talk to about it?

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    I dunno, on one hand I think it's probably not a good idea to say something, but on the other hand - it takes a village, and obesity comes with a whole host of other issues and the early it can be combatted, the better so I also think tactfully saying something mightn't be a bad idea.

    Some people really are blinded or in denial about things like this, especially when it pertains to the children they love so much. They may see it as an attack on their parenting, which is the problem, when it's coming out of a place of concern.

    Maybe try to focus on the healthy eating and exercise aspect rather than the weight, like PP said.

    Sometimes you do need a more objective perspective. I've told my aunt a few things about my goddaughter she would have happily lived in denial about, but they really concerned me and it turned out, they concerned aunt too but she wasn't sure how to approach it. I gave her some suggestions and the issue is virtually non-existent now.

    I'll probably get eaten for this, but I don't believe the parent always sees things the way others do - and it's not surprising - everyone wears rose coloured glasses around the people they love the most.

    ETA: I don't think it's about letting children be children - it's not like OP is going to tease the child or anything? He won't be any the wiser of the conversation they have will he?

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    As a mum of kids that at some stages of their lives have been larger, I would have told you to mind your own bee wax. I know my friends don't know all the in and outs of childrens diet, medications (some kids meds do make them gain weight), where they are in there growth cycle, their overall health etc....

    It is not their place to comment on my or my childs weight.

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    I COMPLETELY agree with above posters who say (nicely) that it is not your place to say something and that she is probably aware. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Don't say anything. He's 3 and has a right to be a child without worrying about his weight. His mum isn't blind and would know what size he is. You may see him eating poor but that's because your probably seeing them is social situations where mums are letting their kids eat junk food to keep the peace.

    My daughters GP made a comment about my daughters weight and watching out for childhood obesity when she was 2 weeks old. WTF??? She is off the charts for height and weight and eats normally. I don't want to be scared to let her eat a biscuit in public for fear of people judging us. If you saw a skinny child eating what the "sumo wrestler" eats would you care?
    Obesity at 2 WEEKS OLD???????? That's just wrong to say that.

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    [QUOTE=

    I'll probably get eaten for this, but I don't believe the parent always sees things the way others do - and it's not surprising - everyone wears rose coloured glasses around the people they love the most.
    [/QUOTE]

    Agree with RR,
    I was overweight as a child and my mum was blinded to a degree, she knew I had to wear adult clothes at 10, knew I was being bullied but still didn't think or see at the time that it was our diet that needed to change, she had my hormones and all sorts tested but at the age of 8 I was allowed to order a large big mc meal or chips and gravy when ever we went shopping, pastas and crisps our treats were an everyday thing in large portions, I never learnt anything about nutrition until grade 9 health class where I weighed 100+ kilo.

    I don't think theres enough education in regards to nutrition, we are constantly told low fat and light = healthy but really anything that isn't fresh fruit and veg or nutrient rich just isn't all that great for growing bodies.

    26 years on and my mum still doesn't understand why DD doesn't have treats (13months old) even though she sees me struggle with food and yoyo dieting for years. Im passionate about teaching DD.

    I do think its a shame but I don't think theres much you can do about it unless your prepared for any fall out as she may be offended.


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