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  1. #1
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    Default Is this friend(person) using me?

    I don't have a lot of friends...I guess the people I know are the people that I help or who phone me when they need help.
    But I knew this girl from kindy...(actually we were born in the same hospital only hours apart) and just happened to go to the same school,and end up in the same classes. We were friends in Primary school and then after high school went different ways(attended dif. high schools).
    She eventually got married and I think I caught up with her (via phone) maybe once every five years or so.
    She attended my wedding nearly 15 years ago and I thought she might want to stay connected.
    But then she only came to visit me to sell me Amyway?? That kind of hurt.
    We fell pg at the same time but sadly I lost my baby and I ran into her in the shopp.centre. I shared with her the same news while I stood there staring at her big belly.
    T "What were you going to call her if she was a girl?
    Me: Caitlan
    T "That's a lovely name"
    Fast forward some months and she has a baby and names her Caitlan!!!

    Well I didn't get to see little Caitlan until she was about six! She came to visit me after so many years and we had a good afternoon together.

    Every year I send her a birthday card and christmas card but she never sends me one. Our birthdays are one day apart so she can't forget when it is my birthday!!

    Last year one of my family members(FIL) dies as a result of a serious accident/crime that hits the news...In the christmas card I send her I pour out all of my pain and sadness and ask her to pray for me and my family.

    Three months ago she contacts me and asks if my husband wants to submit some art in the gallery which is connected to her work.
    I get all excited thinking she is interested in me again but no just the art!
    I remind her about my FIL and how sad it has been .
    She hasn't a clue what i am talking about.
    T "Oh so your father in law died?""
    M "Yes - and we are still grieving..it has been difficult and police have been involved..I tell her I wrote to her about it.
    T"Oh well it is best to stay positive..and then she goes on to talk about the art.

    She is persistant about my DH having an exhibition as her boss really wants to support the gallery and get people in.
    I tell her DH is busy and won't be ready until later.
    So she tells me she will contact me later.

    I send her an email and she replies.
    "I do have other work to do..I am busy!"

    So I have stopped emailing her and will wait but DH doesnt really know if he is interested in putting his art work on display in their gallery because of her attitude.

    I guess I get really sad..first she takes my only baby''s name and then I don't meet the child until she is 6.....then she makes no comment about the tragedy my FIL went through or the pain we went through losing our baby.
    And then wants DH to submit his art but only when the art gallery is ready for him and I can't communicate with her on other subjects via email as she is too busy.

    So is this a friendship or a person I knew (once as a friend) currently using me?
    confused! and sad

  2. #2
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    I would definately be keeping her off the birthday and Christmas card list. She doesnt sound like a friend at all.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Jenga For This Useful Post:

    LoveHeart  (05-07-2012)

  4. #3
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    I would call her an acquaintance, not a friend. Her responses to you have been rude and hurtful. I'd keep my distance from her. I'm sorry for your losses.

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    LoveHeart  (05-07-2012)

  6. #4
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    I don't think she's using you at all..

    I think she sees you as an acquaintance and occasionally thinks of you when certain things come up (like the art thing)...

    The baby name thing would be hard for you to deal with but for someone who thinks of you as an acquaintance, it probably wouldn't be that big of a deal...

    My advice would be to not depend on her as a friend, treat her as an acquaintance that you used to have from school.

  7. #5
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    I wouldn't bother anymore.

  8. #6
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    I think that after high school you went your separate ways and if you coonnected by phone every five years than that's not exactly best buddy material, sorry.

  9. #7
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    Argh I know too many ppl like this. Good to know u have been such a lovely friend to her, a Shame it wasn't reciprocated. I'd move on and cut her out f my life... Good luck! X

  10. #8
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    Sorry for your loss.

    I would see her as a business person you once went to school with rather than a friend. If DH wants to show his art than go for it, if he doesn't than don't you don't owe her anything.

  11. #9
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    She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.

  12. #10
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    I'm not sure how you could think this person a friend? I don't think she's using you either tbh. But she doesn't sound very nice. I wouldn't bother with her again.


 

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