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  1. #51
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    I get the need to vent - for both. I think we all need to realise a mum is a mum and it's hard sometimes no matter who we are.

    I'm currently a SAHM with a 4 month & 3 year olds. We have been talking at length about future children but it comes down to another child would mean I would be a sahm for at least 5 years if not 10 years. (childcare doesn't pay enough for childcare and/or afterschool care for more than 2 children to be still worthwhile working)

    And I would go bat**** crazy.

    But right now I couldn't bare to leave my baby!!! I've already enrolled her for daycare at the start of next year & it's scaring the crap out of me. Leaving her. How am I going to cope without her and how am I going to handle everything AND work/study.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I'm really sorry you are in such a bad position OP and I totally understand why you are feeling angry and upset.
    I'm actually not angry or upset. Just wanted a whinge, didn't realise it was going to open such a can of worms!
    I would rather not have to work, but I have a great employer who is very understanding, and I have found a balance that I can live with.

    I try to be optomistic and see the funny side of things wherever I can, and usually I feel sorry for my friend and try to make her feel better about things too. But today it was just bugging me. I might suggest to her that now that her kids are getting a bit older she should look at going back to work part time. It might help her appreciate the time she has at home with them!

  3. #53
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    OP - it wasn't anything you said that annoyed me - it was other comments. I think you are definitely entitled to vent!

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  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleFi View Post
    I have been a SAHM. And I loved it. Those precious few months were some of the happiest of my life.

    I don't have the option of giving up my job. Going back to work for me (like most working mums) is just something that has to be done. So we get on with it.

    I have a lot of SAHM friends, and one in particular is always posting on FB about how hard it is, "I don't get paid, I don't get recognised or appreciated, I don't get coffee breaks" etc. I find this SO annoying!

    For starters, half my wages go on childcare. Half. When you take this into consideration, my hourly rate is probably around what a teenager working at maccas earns!
    Recognition/ appreciation- well, I am the one who always comes to work looking very disheveled. The other day I found Thomas and Percy in my makeup bag instead of concealer. I feel guilty when I have to take time off because the babies are sick. The only time of day I really feel recognised and appreciated is when I see my children's faces light up when I come to collect them from daycare.
    As for coffee breaks, I spend those in the ladies toilet, pumping milk. Oh the joy.

    Returning to work doesn't magically make the sleepless nights go away. We just don't have the option of spending all the next day in PJs.
    We still have to face teething, toilet training, visits to the doctor and dentist, meal-time battles, bath-time battles, car-seat battles. We just have to fit our jobs in there somewhere too.

    I just want to say to my whiny SAHM friend- just get over it! I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

    OK vent over.
    I'm a SAHM. It's far easier than when I worked part time and in part, I kind of agree with you. I consider myself fortunate that we're in a financial position where we can afford for me to stay home.

    Remember though, everybody whinges about everything at some point. It's not to make other people feel bad, it's just because that's what people do. On the flip side there are many SAHPs who are looking for work and are unable to get a job and would love to have the issues that working parents have.

  6. #55
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    I havnt read all the replies, I have read a few tho. I'm a SAHM and ild wanna vent to if someone was just complaining about it all the time and about silly things. But I do understand that everyone needs to vent. Maybe she dosnt have any friends who she can talk to? It's a touchy subject. Sorry op people reacted like they did.

  7. #56
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    [QUOTE=MunchiesMummy;6673071]I am obviously in a feral mood being that i have been sick for the last 8 days![QUOTE]

    Hope you start feeling better soon, never fun being sick looking after sick babies

    I guess everyone feels like they have it really hard. I think its just being a mum.
    Lol.. I'm having a cruisey day today too, think its time for a cuppa... one of the perks of being a working mum- hot cuppa

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  9. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopefulmama2b View Post
    I find this post really refreshing and long overdue. I had to go back to work. You don't HAVE to be a sahm. And true, this is in the WORKING PARENTS section so let us have our winge. My favourite is the sahm's who say "I would never dream of having someone else raise my kids" Well for some it's not a choice!
    Well yes I feel I have to be a sahm as if I went to work I would be worse off then if I stayed home after paying childcare and loosing Centrelink so being a sahm is the only option for me right now I'd love to get a part time job but oh well. In saying that though I never whinge about being a sahm I love my kids and I'm happy I can be there for them whenever they need me but a break would be awesome.

  10. #58
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    I agree with many posters, being a SAHM is NOT the hardest job in the world, just being a mum is both the hardest and the most rewarding job in the world.

    Being a mum is not a competition.

    Why is such a deragotry and defying adjective as 'Working" applied to being a mother?

    Why do SAHP's feel the need to justify why and how they stay home and why do 'working' mothers get challenged on their attachment to their kids?

    I understand the op's frustration at her FB friend constanly whinging and also the topic of her FB friend's vents. Having someone whine and yet lord it over you by declaring they have the hardest job in the world by being a SAHM causes a mum to feel belittled when she's at work and possibly also vunerable by being separated from her child - its a backhanded insult - unintentional but still insulting.

    ((hugs)) Op - please be assured that you are doing what's best for you, your family and your children the best way you know how.

    And yes, this is the Working Parents area - and if you don't like what they're saying please respect that, like all mums, we too get sensitive at getting backhanded insults and sometimes need to vent.

    I think sometimes people need to understand the difference between an objectionable opinion being posted like Parlimetry Privliledge in a designated area and a person having a vent in a designated safe area.

    The OP is just a vent and not posting an objectionable opnion

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  12. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by our3boys View Post
    I'd love to get a part time job but oh well. In saying that though I never whinge about being a sahm I love my kids and I'm happy I can be there for them whenever they need me but a break would be awesome.
    If you think that getting up before the sun every day to get everything ready for daycare and work, then getting home at 5pm and having to fit dinner, baths and bedtimes in before 7pm is a break, then you should definitely start looking for a job! Lol....

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  14. #60
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    I have never been a working mum but i worked full time for years before my DD was born. I can honestly say that being a SAHM is a harder job than when i was working full time

    As far as what we do all day? Well i wish there was more hours in the day to keep up with a toddler, all the cleaning, feeding, playing etc is never ending and exhausting.

    Now being a working mum, well i can imagine that would be damn hard work too. I think both working mums and SAHM's have their challenges. I dont think one is harder than the other tho.

    Everyone is entitled to a vent, OP that includes you and your friend

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