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  1. #31
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    Im pretty sure the "Us" Vs "Them" divide has just gotten bigger....

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    Fair point but I'm being honest when I say I don't know what SAHM do all day. Maybe it should say " I don't know what stay at home mums of 1 three year old child do all day because I feel lazy because I would usually have done a hundred things by now if I was working but there isn't actually enough jobs to fill my day now I'm not". And I have a husband who works 5 minutes away and works an average 40 hour week so is home every single night and weekend.
    I just wrote a reply to this and then deleted it, as I realised that I was going to great lengths to explain what I do of a day, when really it wasn't needed.

    I don't see that I have 'jobs' to fill my day as a SAHM, but we have a busy routine. We are out most of the day, and DD has numerous activities she does. My 'job' at home (as I see it) is to look after her and to make sure she is active and busy. If I didn't do that, and if I didn't think of things to do, then I guess we wouldn't do them. It's down to individual interest and initiative as to what you do with your child as a SAHM. I think it comes down to personality too. When I'm at work I make sure I'm busy and productive. At home I do the same. (Except for when I'm on here, of course!!)

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  5. #33
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    PS - before anyone has a heart attack that I am *gasp* posting in the working families section. I am actually only on leave from my job.

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  7. #34
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    OP, do you really HAVE to work? It sounds like you hate it and it must be really awful for you.

    Many SAHMs adjust their lifestyle and make a LOT of sacrifices to be SAHMs.

    We downsized our home and gave up a lot of other things so we could afford for me to stay at home and parent our kids full time.

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  9. #35
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    I'm really not meant to be on BH today, but I checked on my social group and stupidly hit new posts lol So I'm going to go point form as I have a lot to say:

    1) OP, when I first read your post it made me angry as a SAHM. But then I took a step back. I'm feeling extremely bitter and jealous about something in my life that has been consuming me of late. I'm really not a bad person, but outwardly I probably seem it. I just want to offer you hugs. You are clearly hurting and angry I think this isn't really about her, but the turmoil you are feeling.

    2) what really annoys me is when posts are made ina specific area, and people make nasty comments about a different group (bagging SAHM's in a working mum section), then when those people feeling attacked defend themselves, they are told this is OUR section. You can't make these sort of comments like what do SAHM's do all day anyway?? then not expect a rebuttal. If you don't want a rebuttal, don't bag others.

    3) I'm sooooo sick of the mummy wars. I'll repeat what I always say on this subject. Both are hard and easy in different ways. We are all doing a great job. Stop competing with each other, really over it on here.

    4) to the point someone said working isn't a choice but being a SAHM is, sorry but that's rubbish. Sometimes a mum would be on min wage and with 3 kids would actually be *losing* money to work. Some do choose to stay home like me. Some working mums don't really have to work but choose a lifestyle where they feel they have to. Downsize. Live within your means. Rent for a few years until the kids are at school. Unless your kids are starving and you are living on the streets you don't *have* to work. Now I'll very clearly say this isn't an attack on working mums. Not at all. If we want a mortgage or a nice car - there's zero wrong with that. No judgment from me at all. But it is a choice, that's my point.

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  11. #36
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    People who wonder what SAHMs do all day - do you also wonder what childcare workers do all day? And Nannies? The lady across the road does Family Day Care. She looks after 3 kids. Do you wonder what she does, or just mums looking after kids?

    Being a working mum or a SAHM does not define you, or your parenting. There are good, caring mums who stay home, and good caring mums who work. And I wish people would stop attacking each other over it.

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  13. #37
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    Harmless vent has been ruined. Ugh. Re read the op. She didn't say one single nasty thing about stay at home mums.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

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  15. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    Harmless vent has been ruined. Ugh. Re read the op. She didn't say one single nasty thing about stay at home mums.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub
    Subsequent posters did.

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  17. #39
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think working mums have to work as much as sahm have to stay at home, I'm sure there may be a few exceptions (parents who don't have a partner who can support them springs to mind) but honestly I think most of the time it comes down to a life style choice sure you might have to shuffle things around to get into the position that suits what you want to do but I don't think for the majority it's impossible.

    I know I'm probably going to get shot down for this but take note if I wanted to be a working mother the child care fees would kill us, I don't think this is a reason not to work, hubby would have to take a job with a lower wage which would reduce our child care fees but it's not impossible.

    ****I'm not talking about those families who are literally living week to week, slogging it out 60+ hours a week and still not making ends meet, struggling to buy food and to pay the bills. I'm not talking about you, I have been there myself.****

    Eta I think a lot of the time it boils down to wanting to have one's cake and eat it too.
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 05-07-2012 at 13:12.

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  19. #40
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    I honestly do not know how some working mums cope. I was up all last night with a sick dd1, i just cannot imagine how I would cope if I had to go into work today. I would fall apart.

    I chose to be a sahm, we are lucky that we can get by on one wage and if I were to go back to work, childcare would eat up all my wage. So in a way I'm trapped, because i have gone absolutely twitty staying at home, it is the hardest thing *I* have ever done.

    It is very irritating when someone you think is better off than you whinges. I have a sahm friend who has a babysitter come in daily for 3 hours, has a cleaner and has money to spend on trips and renovations. But what can you do? I don't have to live her 24 hours, I just have to live mine. Nothing to be gained from comparing myself to others. I don't like these competitive threads but meh we all need to let off steam sometimes, I have done it myself about said friend ^^^.

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