+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 17 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 169
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked
    24
    Reviews
    0

    Default Having a vent- sick of hearing SAHM whine!

    I have been a SAHM. And I loved it. Those precious few months were some of the happiest of my life.

    I don't have the option of giving up my job. Going back to work for me (like most working mums) is just something that has to be done. So we get on with it.

    I have a lot of SAHM friends, and one in particular is always posting on FB about how hard it is, "I don't get paid, I don't get recognised or appreciated, I don't get coffee breaks" etc. I find this SO annoying!

    For starters, half my wages go on childcare. Half. When you take this into consideration, my hourly rate is probably around what a teenager working at maccas earns!
    Recognition/ appreciation- well, I am the one who always comes to work looking very disheveled. The other day I found Thomas and Percy in my makeup bag instead of concealer. I feel guilty when I have to take time off because the babies are sick. The only time of day I really feel recognised and appreciated is when I see my children's faces light up when I come to collect them from daycare.
    As for coffee breaks, I spend those in the ladies toilet, pumping milk. Oh the joy.

    Returning to work doesn't magically make the sleepless nights go away. We just don't have the option of spending all the next day in PJs.
    We still have to face teething, toilet training, visits to the doctor and dentist, meal-time battles, bath-time battles, car-seat battles. We just have to fit our jobs in there somewhere too.

    I just want to say to my whiny SAHM friend- just get over it! I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

    OK vent over.

  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to TwinkleFi For This Useful Post:

    aish  (08-08-2012),Bunny Lover  (05-07-2012),In My Stride  (06-07-2012),Izzys Dragon  (06-07-2012),jbish  (06-07-2012),Justwant2beamummy  (05-07-2012),nelle7250  (06-07-2012),VicPark  (06-07-2012)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Outer North Melbourne
    Posts
    1,857
    Thanks
    435
    Thanked
    340
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Good on you. I went back to work full time when DD was just 12 weeks. Lucky for us DH was the director at the child care centre so I knew she was being well looked after. Anyway we have recently sold our house and moved interstate and I'm able to have a break from work. I have had 6 months off but will need to go back in a couple of months before our funds run out completely.
    I have no idea why SAHM's ( some not all) whinge so much. Like you I have a friend who never has to work again but constantly whines about how hard it is, how tired and stressed she is and how she never has time to do anything. After having 6 months off I still have no idea what SAHM'S do all day. Yes there is a bit more cleaning and cooking because you are at home more and yes obviously I am looking after DD and spending time with her but I was still doing all the other jobs when I was working and there is certainly not an extra 8 hours ( plus driving plus getting ready etc) of jobs to do. if anything I think it has made me lazy because I know I don't have to do stuff right now then I dont. I look at the clock at 10am and think ' wow we are not even dressed yet ( because we don't need to be) but of I was working I would have already done a hundred things today.
    Last edited by jez; 05-07-2012 at 11:16.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    2,302
    Thanks
    1,824
    Thanked
    237
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have to say that I would love to be a SAHM but to have some type of life and not stress about money too much, I need to go and do 2 or 3 days of work. This does mean that almost half my wage goes to childcare, but its just something I have to do.
    In saying that though, I think I would be a SAHM if I had more than one child, just because I wouldn't want to pay so much for childcare.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    22,011
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    1,786
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Sorry you are feeling that way. I have only recently returned to work but i can pick which days i want to work basically but i still have all the battles a SAHM has. Maybe she wants to go back to work but doesnt have a clue where to start.

    The days of staying at home can be just as draining. The constant same old same old crap each day would push me to my limits as well.

    I havent seen my child since saturday due to work and school holidays. I am still providing for him and paying for someone to mind him so i lose alot of my money too but its the choice i had to make for us to eat well or not. I wont get half of that back either as he isnt in childcare or FDC over the holidays.

    We all have our own challenges no matter what we do. I dont have the car seat battles as i dont drive but i have battles with timing to get to and from places whether it be appointments or school or even just to the shops by bus or train. You may have timing issues as well but ours a different as you can rely on your car and i have to rely on a bus showing up on time or even just showing up at all.

    Everyone is entitled to a vent but a little understanding can go a long way. If you dont like reading her posts on fb, block her from your wall.

    Sent from my GT-I9000T using BubHub

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Myztiks#1Fan For This Useful Post:

    Guest654  (05-07-2012),lovesushi  (06-07-2012),Luvmydogs  (05-07-2012),Me&MrMagoo  (05-07-2012)

  7. #5
    missybubble's Avatar
    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    939
    Thanks
    630
    Thanked
    127
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'd give anything to be a SAHM, some people don't know how lucky they are. And you ladies that work and have kids, you must be superwoman because that would be hard!

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to missybubble For This Useful Post:

    mrswhitehouse  (05-07-2012),Sarelou  (05-07-2012),TwinkleFi  (05-07-2012),VicPark  (06-07-2012)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,276
    Thanks
    3,697
    Thanked
    3,090
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    I have no idea why SAHM's ( some not all) whinge so much. Like you I have a friend who never has to work again but constantly whines about how hard it is, how tired and stressed she is and how she never has time to do anything. After having 6 months off I still have no idea what SAHM'S do all day. Yes there is a bit more cleaning and cooking because you are at home more and yes obviously I am looking after DD and spending time with her but I was still doing all the other jobs when I was working and there is certainly not an extra 8 hours ( plus driving plus getting ready etc) of jobs to do. if anything I think it has made me lazy because I know I don't have to do stuff right now then I dont. I look at the clock at 10am and think ' wow we are not even dressed yet ( because we don't need to be) but of I was working I would have already done a hundred things today.
    Ouch.

    Well, for starters, I feel as if we are ALL entitled to have a vent or a whinge. That means the SAHMs and the working mums. One is not better than the other.

    Saying you have no idea what SAHMs do all day is exactly why SAHMs say that they often feel undervalued/ unrecognised for what they do.

    OP - I do get your frustration. If you want to be a SAHM but can't, and someone is in that position and complaining about it, then it would be upsetting. But I think Mystiks#1 Fan is right when she suggests blocking her on Facebook. She is entitled to complain too.

    I'm a SAHM now (although have also been a working mum), and I found the transition from career to SAHM incredibly hard, and it took me about a year to adjust - even though I felt I was doing the right thing.

    For what it's worth, as a SAHM I have never stayed in my pyjamas, and I have always had plenty to do. AND I don't even do any housework. Personally I find work to be easier in some ways and harder in others. It's not a competition about who has it hardest though.

  10. The Following 27 Users Say Thank You to Guest654 For This Useful Post:

    1CrazyMoose  (05-07-2012),Ana Gram  (06-07-2012),bet3  (05-07-2012),Bonkers  (05-07-2012),Freyamum  (30-07-2012),GuestMember  (05-07-2012),Jenga  (05-07-2012),KillerHeels  (06-07-2012),kuhari  (05-07-2012),Laksa  (05-07-2012),Lillynix  (05-07-2012),Lissy12  (05-07-2012),lovesushi  (06-07-2012),Luvmydogs  (05-07-2012),mad house mumma  (05-07-2012),majo  (06-07-2012),Me&MrMagoo  (05-07-2012),missjess86  (06-07-2012),MonkeySeeMonkeyDo  (05-07-2012),MothersMilk  (05-07-2012),Pmakes3  (05-07-2012),ShanandBoc  (05-07-2012),sweetseven  (05-07-2012),Ulysses  (05-07-2012),Witwicky  (06-07-2012),wrena  (05-07-2012),~ElectricPink~  (05-07-2012)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    490
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked
    244
    Reviews
    0
    Just because you loved being a SAHM doesn't mean everyone does. I was a SAHM for nearly 7 years and the last three years I was going insane. I don't need to work but have gone to uni to get a career because I want to work. I am a lot busier now but I am also loving my new life.
    I chose to be a SAHM and even when I loved it I was still entitled to a whinge every now and then...just like now. I chose to go to uni but still whinge about it from time to time.
    It sounds like your vent comes from a place of jealousy. Your friend might not want to be a SAHM but the cost of childcare or whatever other reason prevents her from working. She's entitled to her whinge so perhaps you should block her posts if they bother you so much.

  12. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Wastingtime For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (05-07-2012),Guest654  (05-07-2012),GuestMember  (05-07-2012),headoverfeet  (05-07-2012),lovesushi  (06-07-2012),Me&MrMagoo  (05-07-2012),Witwicky  (06-07-2012),~ElectricPink~  (05-07-2012)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    just remember they are comparing or saying working mums have it better...just venting.

    do some people complain too much? yes, but, they are equally likely to be that person regardless of what they are doing.

    hug, i understand your frustration...but just remember, it's not about you...it's about them.

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,020
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    564
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'm a SAHM and I too cannot stand those posts.
    Sorry but that's part of being a parent.

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to brooke88(mum2b09) For This Useful Post:

    Sarelou  (05-07-2012),VicPark  (06-07-2012)

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,757
    Thanks
    1,205
    Thanked
    2,112
    Reviews
    15
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I've been both a SAHM and am now a working mum. I found both to have challanges.

    Being a SAHM I struggled with never getting a break from my DD who never slept. While she was a super happy baby and I loved being at home with her, it was exhausting. Plus, when you and your kids are at home all day, there is always cleaning and washing to be done.

    When I went to work, the cleaning and washing slowed down a little as noone was at home during the day, but it's still tough coming home and still having to squah cleaning, dinner, baths, playtime etc into 2 or 3 hours. Plus, the downside of missing your kids during the day

    Both have their pros and cons, and both SAHM mums and working mums are entitled to a whinge... being a mum can be tough! I see just as many working mums "whinge" as SAHM. I guess it's just a matter of "the grass is greener" etc.

    I get where you're coming from though, but we working mums need to remember that just because we want to be SAHMs doesn't mean it's easier


 

Similar Threads

  1. Sick of hearing - 'they'll grow out of it'
    By CuddlesAwait in forum Colic Reflux Wind
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 15-09-2012, 20:47
  2. I'm sick of hearing...
    By headoverfeet in forum Birth Trauma Support
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 16-07-2012, 15:07
  3. So sick and tired of hearing...
    By elleandsam in forum General Chat
    Replies: 71
    Last Post: 15-06-2012, 12:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Sudocrem / Infacol
Sudocrem® Healing Cream is a soothing emollient cream which aids and assists in the management of nappy rash, eczema, abrasions, wounds and minor skin irritations. Infacol Wind Drops are an effective method of treating wind in infants.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!