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  1. #1
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    Default 4 yo made a racist comment today, advice please

    Was so upset today. When I picked up 4 yo daughter from childcare, the teacher pulled me aside and said she had made a racist remark today. She refushed the room assistant helping her with her lunchbox and said she wanted someone else to help because she didn't like dark people.

    The teacher asked her to apologise and said it wasn't nice to say those things. But I want to reinforce the message at home. Any suggestions on activities, or books to read/ tv shows to watch???

    I can't think of anything that would cause her to think or say this, and hate to think she has upset the carers at the centre who are all so lovely.

  2. #2
    Theophania's Avatar
    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    I would firstly ask her why she thought that way? Where she had gotten that idea? I would then just explain to her that it wasn't a very nice thing to say and I would remind her that her words can hurt other people. Sorry I have no advice on books or shows to watch. I would just chat to DS about it and explain why it wasn't a very nice thing to say.

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    I think she must have learnt that somewhere? Maybe a grandparent or another child? Children are usually quite oblivious to those things I think.. unless perhaps you don't know many people who have dark skin so its taken her by surprise?

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    My 2 year old is scared of 'dark' people, i think it's from lack kf exposure, he is aboriginal and hus great nan is very dark but no one he has close contact with is dark so he avoids and is wary of dark people.

    Perhaps you could talk to her about differances in people? And how no nice comments about differences makes people feel?

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    Thanks Theophania, yes I should have added any advice on what to say to help explain to her it is not okay would be much appreciated too.

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    Oh and as for activities.. go to the library and get a few good books from the children's section. Can't think of any off the top of my head. Buy her some dolls that aren't white.. that's all I can think of right now sorry!

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  11. #7
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    You poor thing *hugs*

    Im not entirely in agreeance with "the child must have heard it from someone" i think subconsciencely society pushes these things on us, and little ones are not immune from it.

    My toddler walked in on me getting dressed the other day and looked directly at my thighs (i had underwear on) now ive lost a substantial ammount of weight, which have left my inner thighs... Lets just say i dont look like a model. (i have never said a word about my thighs so he has not overheard anything) and he says "eww mum, gross, gross mum, your leggys gross" he didnt hear that from anyone, he just based his opinions on what he has seen and mine was different so he didnt like it.

    OP - perhaps you could get your daughter a doll that has dark skin? Im sure there are books available as well, Like 'the skin you live in' etc that teaches about diversity in little people language.
    Last edited by Zombie_eyes; 04-07-2012 at 21:05.

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    Rent the movie the princess and the frog and i would def be asking her about those remarks as kids just dont come up with it themselves. My ds 4 made a remark to me about an overweight man on a mobility scooter I hope to god he didnt hear but it was just a question or statement about how big he was...still not nice

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    Just ask her why she said it or where she heard it.

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    mytwowilldo  (05-07-2012)

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    I would say something like people may have differences on the outside but that's what makes each of us unique we are all the same in the inside. We all have feelings and remarks like that towards someone about something that is unique to them is very hurtful. Also agree with getting some books and just openly talking about the issue more. I reccomend it's ok to be different by Todd parr

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