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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaNurture View Post
    This with us too. The motto in our house - sleep is a war-free zone. And we are all a lot happier.
    Unfortunately, in our house, we don our riot gear on ready for battle each sleep time. It needs to change, truly it does. Days are a bit better now, and nights aren't so much of a battleground - but just so defeating. I feel tired, and I want to do the right thing by him and help him - but with professionals telling me to stop co sleeping (when at the moment it's the only way we are getting a bit of sleep), it's so confusing. I'd love it if the Karitane methods would work for us at night, but they don't. Ultimately, I'd love to be able to teach him to sleep in his own cot - and be able to resettle successfully - at night, without crying or hysterics, just gently so that he has the confidence to be able to put himself to sleep - knowing we are there if he needs us. I just don't know how to achieve that though LOL! I'm hoping it will just be a miracle one day!!!

  2. #22
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    It will change, gradually and in his own time, and one day you'll wake up and think 'wow, how did I ever get through that??!!'

  3. #23
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    I agree with PP, letting go and going with the flow is the best thing to do and not just with sleep issues, with everything parenting related. Try not to stress and do what you need to do, before you know it your little baby will be all grown up!

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hunbun View Post
    I agree with PP, letting go and going with the flow is the best thing to do and not just with sleep issues, with everything parenting related. Try not to stress and do what you need to do, before you know it your little baby will be all grown up!
    Yes, that's an excellent point. I remember when he was born early, just 1kg, it was so very hard. I look back and wonder how we got through that, but we did. Time has flown, he has grown so much, not that little premmie baby anymore... but perhaps he has been left with some attachment issues, or lack of maturity, who knows. He is being cared for by grandparents while I am back at work, and he is coping not too badly with this (although I do go home at lunch and see him). Maybe he just needs his mum's comfort. You get so much advice, people telling you it's all wrong, need to be harder - otherwise he will learn bad lessons, have behaviour issues, be spoilt etc etc etc. Being a first time mum is so hard with so much conflicting advice, even from the professionals. But you know, it's nice to come here - where others have similar issues - and be assured that it's okay, that doing what we need to, to get some sleep won't turn my son into a little demon, and give some hope that it will get better one day... one day

  5. #25
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    Another turning point for me in the cosleep/don't cosleep mental tug of war, was someone once said to me 'I get to sleep with my husband every night, snuggle up to him, know that he's there right next to me, why would I expect my child to sleep alone with no one?' and it's true, we're given the choice to sleep snuggled up next to someone, why not our children?

  6. #26
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    Very true. My SIL has a 2 year old though that co slept, and now can not sleep on her own (still needs to co sleep with no signs of improving). I wanted to avoid that, I would like Marcus to have the confidence to be able to sleep on his own soundly - knowing we are there (his cot is in our room) - but maybe he will learn that a different way from the way I had imagined it and the ways we've been trying. It does need to change though, our whole life revolves around his sleep etc, to the point where Karitane told us to stick to the routine so consistently that we didn't go out much - and I still try to plan ventures out around his sleeping and get stressed if something is planned at 'sleep time'. I love being a mum, and initially, because he was premmie, everything was tough - both physically and emotionally - and as things have gotten better I've loved being a mum more and more (not that I've never loved being a mum, I just get to relax and enjoy it more now there aren't feeding issues etc), it's just the sleeping thing that brings in the stress. I want it to change (esp at night), but during the day I have to stay a little bit strict as if I don't try to resettle, he gets SO SO tired and miserable. Most of the time he wants to go back to sleep, just seems to have no idea how - even though he can easily put himself to sleep the first time. It's like after he wakes he needs me there to help him go back. Even though he's tired, once his eyes pop open he's looking around all alert and looking for soemthing to do (during the day that is)...

  7. #27
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    I'm not sure how exactly the physiology of it works but I've had my DS' gastro specialist and sleep study specialist say exactly the same thing. Reflux babies are often iron deficient and the iron deficiency causes sleeplessness. I'm too sleep deprived to get into the nitty gritty just trust what they say. At the moment he is on iron supplements but due to his gastro issues he's not absorbing the iron. And therefore not sleeping. So he is potentially being admitted for an iron infusion. Anyway I just thought it might be worth exploring. Especially if you are up for a blood test. Good luck. Feel free to pm.

  8. #28
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    We have had a sleep apnea test done (results were okay) and our paed, who specialises in sleep, said that a sleep study is an option if all else fails (although there is a wait list, even for private patients). He told me to try putting DS into his own room, and to try controlled crying *insert rolling eyes here*

    Will be interested to see DS's iron level results this month then... see if maybe that might be an issue?

  9. #29
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    We did the sleep study test. It's about a six week wait public or private. We got lucky and got called two days later. And yes our sleep specialist said to do the CC thing. Knocked back the 5 star room service to 1 star. Easier said than done when your two yo has severe reflux duodenal ulcers, bleeding gastric ulcers, chronic lung problems. But he did say his iron was a definite factor.

  10. #30
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    So what came out of the sleep study? Was it beneficial for you at all? Our paed doesn't seem to think it is necessary at this stage, but we will see how we go. My son is certainly not the worst sleeper from the stories I've heard, but he's not great - or even good, and it's an ongoing thing - which not only means a sleepless mummy, but also means he isn't getting the sleep he needs (although is developing right on track, despite being 2 months premmie). I've often wondered if there is a medical problem that causes his waking up, but can't really see any symptoms of anything, other than the not sleeping. He's been given a check by our GP, and seen numerous doctors/nurses/specialists/therapists/paeds in his time due to being premmie, and none have seen anything to be concerned about. Last night, for the first time, when I put him into bed with me just after midnight because I'd tried resettling, and needed some sleep for work today - I didn't feel guilty, and I didn't feel like a total failure. For the first time, I felt like a mum who was doing what was necessary for my family. It felt nice. So, thank you to everyone for helping me see it from a different view point. I am still going to try resettling in his cot first, but at the end of the day, won't feel like a total failure and beat myself up if he ends up in bed with me to give us all some sleep. I'm glad I came here


 

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