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  1. #1
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    Default Any advice is welcome - have tried nearly everything!

    Hi! I have a 9 month old son (7 months corrected - he was born 10 weeks premature). He has very bad sleeping problems. He can go to sleep with no problems (I can put him in his cot, kiss him and walk away and he will be asleep in a few minutes with no problems) - but the issue is him STAYING asleep. He wakes continuously. I have tried nearly everything to get him to resettle himself, but he can't. During the day, he can only sleep for 30 minutes - and IF he does go back to sleep (because he IS tired), it's only through a hard slog of resettling him myself (usually takes 30 - 60 minutes every single sleep). We've been to Karitane twice, and he is now able to be resettled at least - and in his morning nap is sometimes sleeping for an hour, but still, each day sleep is a battle (his afternoon nap is usually only 30 minutes, and a 1 hour battle of trying to resettle so he has done his 'time' as per Karitane instructions). His night sleeps are atrocious. We have the same strict bedtime routine, and he is always asleep between 6.30pm to 7pm and he usually wakes at the sameish time each day 6 - 7am. He will sleep for 2 - 4 hours (he may wake briefly in that time for dummy reinsertion), and once he wakes, will generally wake every hour, sometimes more. Then will go for 1.5 - 2 hours of grizzling every 5, 10 or 20 minutes. I have tried resettling, and sometiems it works, sometimes it doesn't. Usually, after about the 10th wake up of the night I just put him into bed with me, as I'm just so exhausted, and he will go to sleep instantly. It's a constant battle. I have no idea how to help him learn to STAY asleep and resettle himself if he wakes briefly. I've tried Karitane methods, but they don't seem to be working - I'm considering just letting him cry it out - but I hate the thought of doing that. At night, I can put his dummy back in and he will settle straight away, but then 5 minutes later is grizzzling again. Rinse and repeat LOL. I think alot of it is due to his dummy, but I just can't find the reason that he can't stay asleep and wakes continually. Co sleeping usually helps us get at least 2 or 3 hour blocks of sleep with just a quick resettle - but the health nurse told me to stop doing this as it will cause problems further on down the track. Co sleeping is not ideal, and not something I wanted to do, but when you have tried every suggestion and nothing is improving, at some point I just need some sleep (esp now that I am back at work as well). I have no idea what to do or how to help him anymore? Putting him in his own room may help a little, but I don't believe it will help with his continual waking. I just don't know what to do anymore, am totally exhausted - as it is just so constant, we never have a good night - just follows the same bad sleeping pattern every day with no improvement, and just want to help my baby boy to sleep better! When you think that heaven is a night where you only have 4 or 5 wake ups, then you know you have a problem... What can I do? (sorry for exasperation ). I've tried changing his routine, changing eating habits, changing the ways I resettle him over months, but nothing ever seems to change.

  2. #2
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    I don't have a whole lot of advice, but DS1 was similar at that age and i ended up cosleeping full time. If you have tried everything else and that's what gets you the best sleep, then IMO that's the way to go. Maybe bub is going through some separation issues and just needs that close ess? Don't worry about what the nurse said, babies change so quickly there's not much point focusing on the possible issues in the future.
    Hope you get some sleep soon!

  3. #3
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    subscribing. You described our situation exactly.

    DD2 is 4 1/2 months corrected (6 weeks prem).

    At our wits end too.

  4. #4
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    My dd was exactly the same!
    She was born 9 weeks prem and was a terrible sleeper, doing exactly what you have described.
    I don't have any new helpful advice as she has only just consistently started sleeping properly now (6 in October) :-(

    We did have a good few months between 6 and 11 months thanks to bed sharing but when she started getting teeth it all went downhill again.

    For me personally, I was happy to bed share to get some sleep because the only other option I was recommended was controlled crying or to just leave her to cry herself to sleep, neither of which we wanted to do..

    I hope it gets better for you. I'll be watching for some advice too to help with my other dd!

  5. #5
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    We had the same issues. In the end we started co sleeping to save our sanity. It wasnt ideal as DS tends to hit, kick, slap and scratch while he is sleeping but it was better than being up and down 10 times a night. He started sleeping in bigger blocks and after a few months was sleeping all night.
    Now at 20 months we are transitioning back into his own room. This is our plan.
    *DF DS and I sleeping in DS room in DS bed (he has a queen)
    *Only DS and I sleeping in DS room (DF back into our room)
    *Either DF or I laying with DS until he goes to sleep and thats it
    *DS sleeping in his bed alone and if he does wakes DF or I go in and lay with him until he settles then return to our bed.
    We are on the last stage now and its working really well. We did each stage for a week.
    I dont believe in letting children cry it out so we just found what worked for us and this is it

  6. #6
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    Thanks for the support! At least we aren't the only ones! I've had him checked out by our GP and paed, and doesn't appear to be any health issues that could be causing it. He does fart quite a bit, but I wouldn't say excessive and it doesn't appear to be making him wake every hour. I'd love to get rid of his dummy, but am so tired I'm not sure I could tackle it right now. He is even still in his swaddle, as trying to get him to sleep with arms out was making his bad sleeping even worse (if that's possible). I feel like a bit of a failure, but it's not for lack of trying. I've been ultra consistent with his day sleeps, and they aren't really improving that much. So I don't know. Maybe it's just time for me to co sleep (as in, still put him down in his cot, and when he starts wakign then just put him into bed with me), seeing that seems to be the only thing that will save my sanity. I remember before having a baby, I said I would NEVER co sleep, and would wonder what kind of parents co slept... well, now I know! Parents who are at wits end and just want a little bit of sleep!!! The problem with co sleeping (other than being a bit uncomfy) is that husband can't sleep in our bed. He takes heavy medication for back pain, which makes co sleeping when he is in bed unsafe... so he usually gets stuck on the couch. That's not ideal either, but we are basically just doing as we can to survive at the moment. I'm starting to think (like Lincolns mummy has suggested) that we co sleep until he can at least sleep better, and then tackling any issues after that. That was my plan with the swaddle too, but at this rate, he will still be swaddling when he's 21!!! I hope, unlike 2girls1boyplus1, that I will get at least a half decent nights sleep before he is 6... YIKES!!!!

  7. #7
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    What about sidecaring his cot? That way he is close to you but still in his own space and your hubby can stay in the bed too.

  8. #8
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    Every night, I start out with the best intentions of spending a full night resettling - but those intentions dwindle quickly after the 6th or so wake up before midnight. We have had nights where he has been able to do it and stay in his cot all night (just quick resettles - a few of them, but at least he will go back to sleep), so I know he *can* do it... and I'm not entirely sure it's separation issues. But I don't know what it is, or maybe he's just a bad sleeper, period. It's so defeating when you have spent months seeking help and trying to follow a strict routine, and see that it's not getting you anywhere...

  9. #9
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    My ds was the same, we went to Tresillian and were put in the 'too hard basket' he was *that* bad ...

    I stopped trying to make him sleep alone and started co sleeping full time ... Some kids just need the closeness, he'll grow out of it eventually, and if it means the difference between everyone getting some sleep then why not?

    I just think that they're only little for such a short time and if it's what he needs that's what we're there for ...

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Me&MrMagoo For This Useful Post:

    Markys Mum  (04-07-2012),Starfish30  (04-07-2012)

  11. #10
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    Your not alone. But for us the reason he wakes constantly is because of his iron deficiency. Is he a good eater? Or suffer reflux? Anyway just another idea and something to consider.


 

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