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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Default Questions to ask!

    Hey all,

    'Scuse the prolific posting of late!

    Here are some of the questions I'm going to be asking potential donor. What else would you add?

    What are you expectations regarding your relationship to the child?

    What are you expectations regarding seeing a child resulting from your donation? How often? In what context? (e.g. alone, with us as a group catch up etc.)

    What relationship would you expect your parents/family to have with a child resulting from your donation?

    Would you be prepared to donate again when we want to provide a sibling for a child that results from your donation?

    Do you believe you should have a say in decisions made about the child, such as schooling, healthcare, upbringing?

    What involvement, if any, would you expect to have during pregnancy and birth?

    What would you want the child to call you?

    Would you be prepared to support us in any legal proceedings pertaining to the status of the child? E.g. if Maja had to ‘adopt’ the child through a court proceeding or if your family went to court to gain custody/visitation? (assuming we aren’t being negligent parents)

    Will you be willing to update us with your details when you move so we or the child can contact you if something emergent arises? (e.g. child wants to contact you, we need medical background etc).

    If you were to get a new partner, would you support us in the event your partner decided they wanted to play happy families with the child and tried to push for custody/visitation?

    How would you feel if we were to move interstate/overseas?

    How would you want us to explain your involvement in the conception of a child, to that child?


    We know how we want him to answer these questions. If his answers vary widely from our wants, it'll help us decide what to do!

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    The only thing I would possibly add would be what the donor would do if both you and your partner were to pass away. I know it's morbid, but it's something I discussed with my family after having kids. We had a will drawn up, nothing is guaranteed, but it's good to have something in writing.

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    Yep, I was about to write what the PP did

    Otherwise very good questions I think!

  5. #4
    rainbow road's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tootiredtosleep View Post
    The only thing I would possibly add would be what the donor would do if both you and your partner were to pass away. I know it's morbid, but it's something I discussed with my family after having kids. We had a will drawn up, nothing is guaranteed, but it's good to have something in writing.
    Great point. It's in the 'contract' that in the event of one of us dying, the other would have the child, and if we both die, we are the ones to appoint guardians (MIL and FIL) but I should add in there

    "In the event of both M and I dying (or being unable to parent) would you support our requests of guardianship of the child going to MIL and FIL or would you challenge it?" or similar.

    Thanks


 

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