With my first we planned around her routine but with our second we definitely go with the flow!!!
Bit of both.
When DD 1 was on 2 naps a day I used to just do things and when she fell asleep in the pram I hung around till she woke up cos she never transferred well into the car/house.
On 1 nap I plan around it cos it's easier and she doesn't sleep so well in the pram. Plus I've been pregnant so needed her to sleep so I could!!
When DS was little and would sleep in the pram, we just went wherever whenever. But once he got older, he wouldn't sleep in the pram so I planned around him. By then, he was only having 2 sleeps a day, so it wasn't too hard. He was extremely unsettled if he was late for his nap - he set his own routine and it worked for us, so we went with it.
We've always planned things around his bed time though. It's the difference between a nice and easy bed time and a good nights sleep, to screaming for an hour and being up and down all night with him. Just not worth it. He goes down at 8:30, so any dinners etc are just early to accommodate him. DD however, will hopefully go with the flow and fit in with things during the day. I won't mess with her bedtime though.
It's not hard for us though, we're homebodies so things haven't changed that much really!
go with the flow since birth.
she has a great natural routine though, so Id always make sure I was ready for naps/feeds when she was.
since birth shes always either eaten or boob around noon, we have school pickup at 330, then 2 6yos 2 days a week, so a strict routine would never work for our family.
I have one at school, one pre schooler and one toddler.
I plan everything around school, kinder, music, football, naps etc etc etc.
Diverting from routine is not worth it for me. I need to have control and organisation and I get very anxious if I don't have it.
DH isn't home in the evenings so I run a very tight ship and it works well for us.
I tried to "lighten up" and "go with the flow" once and it was awful.
I'm neurotic and totally cool with it.
At the moment DD just fits in. She's only a newbie so she'll sleep in the ergo or the car - she's taken to hating sleeping in the pram (I suspect silent reflux, poor thing) so as long as I give her a way to nap she's happy. We don't go out at night but we kind of stopped most of our dinners out etc during my pregnancy because I was ready for bed from about 7pm anyway.
When she's older I'm not sure how we'll go. I run my own business & hope to take her with me out on dog walks, so I'm hoping she'll continue to love sleeping in the ergo. I have the option to leave her with my folks but I adore having her with me all the time. Who knows if that will wear off.
I only have a morning wake up routine and a bed routine. During the day I go with the flow. Each day is different so there is no point me having a set routine. However ds2 usually sleeps around the same time no matter where we are.
My DD is nearly 3. When she was younger out lives very much revolved around routine as we all benefitted from it so well. Doctors appointments or social outings, play dates etc were planned either before or after nap time to avoid a cranky baby/toddler. Dinner has always been at 6pm so we never were out past then.. As she went down at 7pm every night. As she got older she was happy to nap in the car for a day sleep etc but bedtime routine was still quite strict. Now that she doesn't nap and handles things better we are way more relaxed and just go with the flow. That will change slightly though as I'm due to have DD2 this week and she will have the same sort of routine until she is older. Perhaps not as rigid though as we will be doing more things outings wise as a family.
we go with the flow.
it worked with my son (now 9) who never like routine.
my 8mo girl has her own routine she has picked but happily does it anywhere.
we live at least an hour's drive from anything so can't time things around naps etc. it's just easier to do whatever needs doing and the kids eat, sleep and play around that.
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