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  1. #1
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    Red face Thought process LONG VENT

    So I have this friend (S), who I met through another friend (H). I met her because I was organising H's hens night. We got along well and life went on.

    About a year later (this year) H got angry at me over a disagreement and deleted me from FB. We talked alot working things out etc. During this time S made me her new best friend. She is very full on and very full of drama. H told me that S was the one that told her to stop being my friends with me. H didnt understand why S all of a sudden made me her number one buddy. H told me all this stuff that S said about me during the last year. How she said I would stuff up the hens night, how she wanted to rip my bridesmaid dress off me because I didnt deserve it, how for the baby shower I through for H, that I would screw it and and all sorts of nasty things.

    I took it all with a grain of salt, didnt really care. S is very dramatic and very umm... two faced I noticed.

    So now H and S arent friends. S was quite nasty about it, I use to tell her she needed to stop being so childish about it all and talk to H about it. In the end she just told H she wanted her stuff back and left it at that. H tried to sort it out but S was just being childish.

    S is *really* annoying me though. She has always made it clean how great her support network is and how much she loves helping her friends out etc. When they are sick she helps with shopping, cooking and child minding. Never once has she offered to help me though. I have been through hell these last few months and she seems more ticked off because I havent caught up with her for a while. I tell her how I just cant go out coz of how bad I am (and the kids) how Im not managing well with everything and not getting any help. (hint hint) But no offer I have always been there to help, jsut not getting much in return.

    She is a single mum, she gets ALOT of CS from her ex, owns her own house, has everyone taking her son away from her whever she needs it or if he jsut wants to go to his dads etc. At the drop of a hat she can get a break. Yet she has the nerve to complain to me about how hard up she has it. About how she cant cope. I try be supportive but Im finding it so very hard when she has NO IDEA how hard it can be. When you have no help and no money. I feel like slapping her with realitiy.

    So I got a little angry at her today. We were FB chatting and she asked how I was and I told her. Then she comes out with "Just go to bed" and Im like "I cant I have two kids to look after, a house that needs cleaning and food shopping needing to be done today". So then she starts going on about how fantastic it is having so much support, someone to do all her washing, cooking, child minding and all that while she just relaxes at home!! (She has just had a family move in with her (for her peace of mind and for them to save money)) So here I am sick as a dog and bruised ribs saying how Im not coping and she is bragging about how wonderful HER life is! I was jsut like "Im glad that everything is going so perfect for you S. I know you have great support. Thanks for rubbing it in that I dont have any". "I didnt mean it like that" "ok"

    So yeah. Im just a little peeved. Everything is a drama for her. It was the end of the world once because the staff member at macca's were counting her money out "so everyone could see she was a single mum" WTF? She rang me the day before this to say she was down to her last $4 and then goes and spends it at maccas and complains because they were being counted out... I dont get her. Im finding it so hard to be supportive of some of the cr@p she comes up with.

    I just REALLY needed to get that out. Thanks.

  2. #2
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    Hugs to you hun!!

    Sounds like "toxic friend syndrome", and that's no judgement on your friend S, but rather the particular combination the two of you make. If the friendship is causing you more stress than support, then it may be best for you to end it.

    And i hope you are feeling better soon xx

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    Cleigh  (02-07-2012)

  4. #3
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    She just makes me sit back and think "what does she say about me?" because when we go out together (her birthday/party/drinks etc) and her other friends are there, she talks such sh!t about them to me. "She is such a *****" and things like that. I just turn to her with most of the stuff she says and say "Yeah I do that too" So really makes me think what type of person she really is.

    LOVELY person to your face, she really is. Very nice. Just wow... Normally I would just end the friendship, but for now Im just waiting to see what happens I guess.

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    Eugh I know of people like that. I avoid them like the plague... Make your life worse I reckon.

    Hugs

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    Sounds like its a toxic friendship hun. I've learnt to get rid of them as soon as I realise that's what they are.

    Try and distance yourself.

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    Dude... ctrl + alt + del. You don't need the toxicity, negativity or anyone whose got that personality. Poisonous to you. You don't deserve that. You deserve only the best.

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    But... She gives me hand me down clothes for the boys They come in really handy!! But yes, I know I should end the friendship. Guess Im just waiting for a good excuss

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    I'd be leaving that friendship, if she can't even help you out what sort of a friend is she? She isn't, she's an acquaintance....


 

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