Wow, thanks everyone. I REALLY, REALLY appreciate you all sharing your experiences with me.
Indigo, ugh, that sounded stressful.
A’s Mum, sorry what does DTD mean??
I am heartened to read that many of you had a tear but were fine or only had minor tears the second time or better there after. This is definitely going to be our last child (DD was almost an only child due to the experience of the first! Very, very close!).
I still have a week or so to decide and from the reading I’ve done so far it does sound like, about 98% of the time, the second birth naturally is *usually* a better experience, whether because you know better or because you have already stretched once (as the Dr pointed out to me also), etc. etc.
However, as cealz shared it DOES still happen.
One day I think I can do it naturally! The next I’m all for the c-section again.
As I’m a public insurance patient I don’t get to have my own Dr with me. Which doesn’t bother me too much as the midwives I had the first time were great and I’m returning to the same hospital (Redlands, outside of Brisbane).
With our DD (now 3), I had a quite fast labour for a first child. Waters broke about 10.30pm and I had her about 2.30am – but that included 1.5 hours of pushing. I think I just didn’t know how to do it properly back then, if that makes sense! Also, as my labour was (lucky for me ) so fast, I didn’t have time for an epidural or anything. I did ask for pethadyne, which the midwives actually tried to talk me out of as I was about 8cm when I got to the hospital finally and it seemed like I was at 10cm within minutes. The funny thing is, by the time I was asking for it there seemed to be a ‘lull’ , for lack of a better word, in the contractions. I really only asked/begged for it out of fear of pain. Perhaps I would have been fine without it after all.
Then during the birthing process I was actually told the pethadyne was making me too tired to push properly. (I insisted I was tired because it was 2am LOL). Anyway, unfortunately I didn’t know enough about not lying on your back so I was on my back on a bed (birth plan had suggested shower but there was no time for any of that in my eyes). There was a time where I felt I needed to squat and tried to get off the bed or change position a couple of times, but by then was too paralysed to be able to, though I tried. I personally think if I had been able to squat yes this would have helped.
Eventually I heard DD’s shoulders were a bit stuck and the cord was starting to wrap around her neck (and it turned out to be a very short cord). I heard the word ‘episiotomy’. All I new was I had read about those in a pregnancy book and I did NOT want one. So while they tried to call the on-call Dr (who was caught up in the ED) they gave me an injection down there to numb my area for the cutting. Naïve me also didn’t realise you could tear that bad naturally (I had read pregnancy books, but not done much research on the internet, I had gone in a tad too ignorant and naïve about giving birth I guess, but being the first time and already scared of it, that’s how I wanted it at that time. Sure wish I’d known more about it after the fact, of course!). And – the books I had read didn’t seem to mention tearing or brushed over it so quickly I didn’t know much about that.
Oh at one point it seemed my contractions were weakening too. So finally I just gave it all I could and wanted that baby out of me! Out she finally came, but I could see the midwife’s face as she said I had torn. At the time I didn’t feel it (thankfully) due to already being numb there in prep for the epis. It wasn’t until that wore off after the fact that the problems began, pretty much after I got home.
Oh then my contractions stopped altogether and no matter what they tried, my body shut down and would not do another thing. So I got sent to theatre to have my placenta manually removed. They stitched me up while in there. I had Dr’s and midwives tell me what an excellent stitching job whoever did the surgery did so that was something. I do have some urinary incontinence as a result, but compared to some women, from the sounds of things, it could be worse. It’s still very annoying though.
So, perhaps if I deliver naturally this time it will be better and faster (I plan on faster lol) and bub has been turned around ready to go since about 28.5 weeks. DD was right on time, wondering if DS will be or a tad early….but either way….then I think, would a stomach recovery be better than pain every time I sat down or went to the toilet? I had a chair in the shower for quite some time (although I’d probably do that again if I had a c-section too I reckon?).
Also, sorry if this is a dumb question – but I assume with a c-section there would be less likely a risk of more incontinence from what I gather through everyone’s posts?
Come on now. It’s 2012. Shouldn’t there be a magic third option or an app for this (giving birth) by now? LOL
Thanks heaps again everyone.
P.S. Also, we have decided, if I go the c-section route, I will get my tubes tied while they are in there. If I go the natural route, it will be hubby’s turn.