Reading your pros and cons as being for "not clinic" conception, I'd like to comment that:
Pro 2 - knowing and having access to current information about donor is also true for clinic conception, if donor agrees.
Pro 3 - another male figure in baby's life is also true for clinic conception, if donor agrees.
Pro 4 - is also true for clinic conception.
Pro 7 - can also be true for clinic conception.
Pro 8 - can also be true for clinic conception, if donor agrees. We went with an anonymous donor who stated that he consents to contact both directly or mediated via clinic prior to our children turning 18. That preparedness for contact was something we wanted our children to be able to access if they so wished.
With regards to the cons 1 and 2,
Our clinic had compulsory implications counselling. Some sessions with donor and recipients separately, and at least 1 session with donor and recipients together for known donations (obviously no together sessions for anonymous donor). Those sessions include ensuring you all agree on the same boundaries.
The clinic also puts plenty of emphasis on, "the sperm belongs to the donor, but embryos belong to the intended parents." So if you retain a fear of donor backing out after your previous experience, then rather than skipping the health screen or quarantining sperm for 6 long months, you might be able to do IVF before quarantine is fully served (perhaps even using fresh sperm) and then freeze the embies for the remaining duration. Then even if donor does reclaim his sperm, you still have embies that are yours.