+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    missybubble's Avatar
    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    939
    Thanks
    630
    Thanked
    127
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Breaking up, help

    I hope this is posted in the right section. I've posted about this before so sorry if you've already seen it.

    I have two exes - ex 1, I'm currently spending time with, I wouldn't really class it as a relationship as yet but it's heading that way. And omg it's freaking me out. I need to end it before it goes any further because I know I don't feel the same way as he does. This will be the third time we've broken up, with me being the instigator every time. I just can't feel anything for him anymore and I shouldn't have kept going back. I know it's horrible and I'm leading him on at the moment, I feel really guilty about it.

    Ex 2, I still love and miss terribly. I know there's no chance there and I'll get over it in time. He left me.

    I think I need to forget about men altogether for a while and concentrate on myself cos there's a few issues I need to work on. I feel a bit 'past it' at 26 (I know that's silly) and like I've blown everything, you know, I'll never meet anyone else. But I can't keep this thing going, I need to stop it before it goes any further.

    I guess I'm asking for advice - is there any way I can soften the blow? I'm thinking I'll give myself a deadline of Monday at the latest. What do I say though, I'm thinking it's a bad idea to admit I still love ex 2. I don't want to give him any hope that there'll be another chance though. I don't want to hurt him but the longer it goes on the worse it'll be. I feel so horrible

  2. #2
    Theophania's Avatar
    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,075
    Thanks
    819
    Thanked
    832
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I believe honesty is the best policy. I would tell him the truth about how you feel about him and your ex.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Theophania For This Useful Post:

    missybubble  (01-07-2012)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Bribie
    Posts
    1,374
    Thanks
    254
    Thanked
    308
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think theres nothing like the truth. But don't kid yourself - its gonna hurt him, & you can do nothing to change that. I'd also be cutting contact completely, at least for a while. Honestly, you aren't the first & won't be the last to lead someone on. It's human to enjoy the attention. So feel bad but don't dwell.

    Now as for 26 being past it - at 26 I split with a long term partner. I thought it was the end of the world & I'd be single forever. At 27, 6 months later, I met literally the man of my dreams. He is a total spunk & we are made for each other. We had our first bub 4 weeks ago tomorrow. I wasn't past it & neither are you!!

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to becandabub For This Useful Post:

    missybubble  (01-07-2012)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I have a motto, the truth is always better than a lie. I would be gentle but honest that you don't feel the same way and that you don't want to hurt him. It's better to do it now, then 6 months down the track when he really believes it's going to work.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    missybubble  (01-07-2012)

  8. #5
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
    Winner 2012 - Most Politically Correct Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    2,837
    Thanks
    1,083
    Thanked
    1,427
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think the truth is definitely better than a lie... But I also think it's not fair to be brutal for the sake of honesty.
    I would tell him the truth. You feel that you're not good for him, and that you can't commit in the way that he wants. That you think that he's a fantastic person (clearly, otherwise you wouldn't keep going back!) and that even though there's a certain chemistry there, it's not enough for you to feel like the relationship can be sustained.

    Tell him that if you need to take a long time away from each other so that you can learn to stop treating him as a fallback. He doesn't deserve it.

    BUT I would NOT mention the other ex. That's not going to happen, and you know it. So why make it about someone else? Your relationship with the first ex is the one that you need to close off for his sake. The other one you need to close off for YOUR sake, but that has nothing to do with ex 1. So don't bring it up.
    Saying that you're hooked on someone else only makes it look like you're trying to replace him or that he's not good enough. He might not be, but don't try to redirect his pain by making it look like it's ex 2's fault.

    Good luck to you, it sounds like a horrific position to be in and I don't envy you at all.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Eko For This Useful Post:

    missybubble  (01-07-2012)

  10. #6
    missybubble's Avatar
    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    939
    Thanks
    630
    Thanked
    127
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks for all your input guys...I'll report back when it's done...


 

Similar Threads

  1. Im breaking .. I need your help please!
    By knomie in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 15-05-2012, 14:47
  2. breaking a lease!!!
    By strawberry apple cheesecake in forum Family Finances
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-12-2011, 08:49

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Pea Pods Reusable Nappies
Pea Pods are the smart choice when it comes to choosing what's best for you, your baby and the environment. Affordable and simple to use, Pea Pods keep your baby dry & happy. Visit our website to find your nearest stockist or order online.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!