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  1. #11
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    You are NOT a bad mother ! Having a kid with autism is hard , I have a 3.5 year old with autism and they don't get alot of discipline you have to fun other ways , we parent them differently and the other kids learn from that.... My 17 month is already learning that his brother gets away with it so why can't he . You have it full on so please don't beat yourself up. Let the **** holes who make negative comments be the last thing you care about , not many could raise 4 kids with and one with autism and have perfect angels on a shopping trip.I commend you it's so tough and in sept I will have three myself and honestly I'm panicking! I don't have any advice except Your not a bad mum, your kids love you and I'm sure as they get older it will get better. Super markets are bad with one kid let alone 4 and one with autism and a load of old judging idiots . Big yourself up ! Remind yourself your the boss here and good luck! I admire you !

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to babynomad For This Useful Post:

    Cinderella82  (30-06-2012),Kiplusthree  (30-06-2012)

  3. #12
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    Shop online! ;-) it is a really hard situation. I avoid shopping with all of mine as much as possible. My thoughts are that it will get easier as they get older and I will shop with them then. High five for getting it of it alive with four little ones. Not many would do that trip gracefully.
    I find timing essential. I have to go early morning otherwise the kids get ratty and hungry and it makes it harder. That's my only tip. Hope it is better next time.

  4. #13
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    I dread taking all my kids out together sometimes too. I am so sorry for the reactions and comments you receive from people. It is very unfair and thoughtless of them. In the end the parenting methods are great but sometimes when we are out there is too much happening at once for it to work. I just ignore and get out ASAP when out shopping. Try and remember that the judgmental people out there really have no idea of the reality of what your childrens needs capabilities are. Also I know how hard it is when you have active kids close in age and they are all together ( much of the time life went by as a blur ). I would feel guilty that I was a bad mother every night. Keep plodding along and do the best you can do. Your doing the right thing seeking suggestions from professionals and other parents.

  5. #14
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    Thanks for all the positive replies. I do dread taking all 4 but it was a drs appt and I had to 5 mins at chemist for the script and it was a nightmare
    My 6 and 4 year old fighting and my baby crying. I hate being judge when I have all 4. Two is a piece of cake

    Why do people judge with kids crying and being loud? Why do people think that kids should be well behave and quite at all times? Can't kids be kids? I think this world has turned into a terrible judgmental place. And it's sad but it's my son people look at and frown upon. I might get a shirt for him or for me saying "I got autism so stop staring at me"

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    Ulysses  (02-07-2012)

  7. #15
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    i just stare back at people when they give me dirty looks, they soon turn away. I can sorta understand someone who has never had kids, but alot of people that do it are older and should know better. i totally agree with you that kids should be allowed to be kids, they arent able to be as well behaved as adults all the time- they arent as developed, and especially if they have autism it is a whole different kettle of fish. the t shirt sounds like a good idea.

    here is one i found that is just what you need.http://www.cafepress.com/mf/31600517...vice_maternity
    Last edited by Ulysses; 02-07-2012 at 07:09.

  8. #16
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    or a shirt that says " I have autism you have assholeism" ha ha ha they can just get lost people who judge are showing a bad bit of themselves .....kids should just be kids and kids need to eat, mums need to shop and get food ....they are idiots ....hold your head up and look them straight in the eye .

  9. #17
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    This is the reason why my partner will never take both kids into shops by herself, because his bad behaviour then brings out her bad behaviour, and both their bad behaviour gets worse because they teach each other that. Either I or her wait in car with kids to get the items or we all go in together where both mum and dad/step dad have better control of the situation than just mum alone.

    I think out in shops, where the kids want everything, is just a bad situation that is difficult to control so I think trying to avoid that situation and using 'be good this time and you can go next time, otherwise not' type of talk does work but only with limited success.

    If anyone has a magic solution I'll be watching this thread

  10. #18
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    I don't ever take them all out by myself.. except if it's a KID outing (friends house/park/picnic etc)...

    Otherwise I organise for them to stay with DH or get a friend to watch them for the hour it takes to run the errand. O and J are at school though, so I only have 3 to worry about... but I still don't take all 3.

    DH now takes them out 2 at a time on a Saturday.. it's their 'Dad date' time.. they go to the library, park, supermarket and then stop for a milkshake and fresh donuts. It's really good for them they look forward to it all week.

  11. #19
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    Thanks for all the replies. I don't generally take all 4 by myself but situations happens and I need to. My kids are generally loud. Especially at shopping centers they are a nightmare. But I'm proud to say I took them to movie world alone which was great

  12. #20
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    I have never done a parenting course so I have no idea if this works for everyone but what works for us is (7, 5, 2 and 1) I set clear boundaries before we leave the house. Eg we are going to the supermarket and the chemist this morning.... After that if everyone is good and I get through it quickly we will go to the park/pool/library etc. I then put a time on it so it normally takes 45 min for a supermarket shop with the kids behaving- so I say if we can finish at Coles by 10 we have an hour for the park before lunch/sleep time- if we are naughty/misbehave that slows us down and there is less/no time at the park. Generally it works. I do have to follow thru strictly though as if I give an inch they take a mile so if they don't behave we all live with the consequence of no treat. I find if I don't clearly explain my expectations before we leave the house they don't know what is expected of them so cant behave. And I always have a treat that they either earn or loose depending on behaviour

  13. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Meags82 For This Useful Post:

    BenTas83  (02-08-2012),EmilsMum  (04-09-2012),FrogsnSnails  (22-09-2012)


 

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