You are NOT a bad mother ! Having a kid with autism is hard , I have a 3.5 year old with autism and they don't get alot of discipline you have to fun other ways , we parent them differently and the other kids learn from that.... My 17 month is already learning that his brother gets away with it so why can't he . You have it full on so please don't beat yourself up. Let the **** holes who make negative comments be the last thing you care about , not many could raise 4 kids with and one with autism and have perfect angels on a shopping trip.I commend you it's so tough and in sept I will have three myself and honestly I'm panicking! I don't have any advice except Your not a bad mum, your kids love you and I'm sure as they get older it will get better. Super markets are bad with one kid let alone 4 and one with autism and a load of old judging idiots . Big yourself up ! Remind yourself your the boss here and good luck! I admire you !