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  1. #1
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    Default Husband going back to work one day after baby is born

    Hi,

    I am a first timer, I am scheduled to have an induction next wed due to baby size.

    My husband can only take off work on wed, so if all goes well the baby should be born on wed. Since I am delivering at a private hospital, he believes I can get all the help i need therefore there is no need for him to be around when I am in hospital for the remaining 4 days.

    Since this is my first baby, I am not sure what to expect and how much emotional support I would need. What are your experiences? Did your partner stay around the few days after baby is born, was it helpful?

  2. #2
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    Can he stay with you over night in hospital? We have our own business so DH had to go to work a few hours during the day when I was in hospital but stayed with me at night , It is quite overwhelming with your first and even though yes the midwives are great and will do everything you ask it's also quite emotional and it's nice to have your DH with you ( especially at night) plus its a great bonding time for them and baby in those first few days too

  3. #3
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    With our first, I had him Thursday night and DH went back to work on the Monday. I ended up being in hospital for 10 days (emergency c-section and DS lost too much weight) and so he took time off when I came home (very lucky to have a flexible workplace!) as we had planned.

    The MW's were great for support and help, and TBH, while I missed DH and by the end was gagging to go home, it was better he worked and took the time once I was home when i actually needed him more. There's not much they can do while you're in hospital.

    DH visited every day after work for a couple of hours which was good and gave him time with DS and we did baths etc then to include him.

    Good luck!

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    My other half was made to go back to work the day after our first was born. His boss was trying to make him come in the same day, he was suppose to go in the afternoon she was born but thankfully he didn't. He barely came to the hospital (I was in almost a week) because he worked such long hours and the boss wouldn't even let him be there when we came home.

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    Can he take annual leave? Or do you have other family to come and help?

    I found having a newborn exhausting and potentially lonely, so I appreciated my partner's company. He stayed with me for all the visiting hours at the hospital (was at hospital for 48 hours after birth) and then he helped extensively at home.

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    Unfortunately DH only started this job a few months ago, therefore he doesn't get parental leave or much annual leave the room in the hospital is too small, I don't think he will have room to sleep. Since we have 2 cats it will probably better for him to sleep at home so the cats don't misbehave.

    So a few of you didn't have your partners around while in hospital, so I guess the help there should be adequate. And I guess we will get so busy after the baby is born, we don't realize who is there or not.

    I can arrange for my mum to come in but I think she will just create more stress for me....she is definitely wont be there for emotional support as we don't have a close relationship and she is extremely negative.

  7. #7
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    I've told mine to go back the day after as I'll be stuck in hospital (c/section due to medical reasons), so I don't see the point in having him around when I really need him more at home. I've also done the same with my mum.
    Once I'm out, he's home for a week and then my mum helps for a week but I think you'll be okay.
    I'd try and play it by ear. Some people are luck and don't have too many problems, others need more help but you won't know until bubs arrives.

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    DH didn't take any time off work while I was in the hospital and for my personal choice I was ok with this. It gave me time in the hospital to deal with bubs and the nurses and learn what I needed to learn (aka ask lots of silly questions!). I was lucky that DH took time off once we came home but while I was in the hospital I kind of was glad I didn't have to deal with him too!

  9. #9
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    I'm so sorry you even have to think about this.
    My XDP didn't take any time off either and I'm convinced that he was only there for the birth because it was a public holiday.
    Went straight back to work on the Wednesday and even went in on the Saturday to wash his truck!!
    I hold ALOT of resentment about this. It really put things inti perspective for me about where I stood in the scheme of things.
    Explain to your husband that getting induced carries a higher risk of an assisted delivery and c section which means you would pretty much need alot of help depending on your recovery.
    Is it he " can't " take time off or that he doesn't think he " needs" to take time off??
    Good luck xx

  10. #10
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    My experience of private hospital post delivery is that they are very supportive and helpful, as the staff come and go during the day you get plenty of support and I found most of the nurses very friendly and chatty. If your DH can come in after work and spend time with you in the evenings I'm sure you'll find that having that limited time will make his visits even more special.

    You could even ask the nurse if bubs first bath could be timed for for when your DH is able to visit in the evening - it will probably help him bond with the baby and help him not feel like he is missing out too.

    For me I found it was once we got home that more support was needed.


 

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