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  1. #1
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    Unhappy I had a Terrible Mummy Moment tonight.

    *LOOOONG POST ALERT*
    I don't really know why I'm writing this, or what it will achieve. I just need to debrief my awful last two hours. DH has been away for 10 days and I don't have phone contact with him to debrief to him.

    DS (almost 3) has had an up and down day today. He's spirited and today was a day of being well behaved one minute, and aggressive and defiant, destructive and argumentative the next. DD (nearly 1) has a cold and is being delicate today, which is understandable, but makes getting her to sleep very challenging and frustrating - and she is a bad sleeper at the best of times.

    I showered with them, shampooed my hair while DD cried on the shower floor, picked her up and she launched herself at my nipple so I had to BF her with half washed hair in the shower. Then DS had a huge tantrum when we (finally) got out. After that came bedtime and DD had a HUGE melt down for over an hour because she wants suckle at the breast while she sleeps and doesn't want to be put down. Every time I put her down she would start screaming and get very distressed very quickly, but because DS was watching Giggle and Hoot and it was nearly over, I couldn't sit there all night with her. So for an hour I went in and out to her, feeding her again and again, putting her down again and again, and she screamed again and again. I got more and more anxious and worked up and eventually had to just leave her scream for 10 minutes while I got DS ready. He had another huge tantrum and then I lost it and screamed all of a sudden at him and stomped towards him while he tantrummed on the floor, and *here's the terrible mummy bit* he squatted, cowering like a frightened puppy on the floor and put his hands up like I was going to hurt him. I burst into tears. Other than the occasional smacked bottom, I have NEVER hurt him, and he's never even seen me in a rage until tonight, and it was over in seconds. When I saw myself throught his eyes I died a little bit inside. He got angry then and made getting him dressed as difficult as possible, shouting at me and flailing around. It was all just awful and I keep replaying it in my head. I coped so so badly and I feel like the worlds worst mummy at the moment. When I went back in to DD she was so upset and sobbing. She finally went to sleep after I gave her a bottle of formula (first time I have ever done that, so there's another thing I can feel guilty about). I just feel so drained tonight.

    I need her to sleep well tonight and to stop waking up ever 2-3 hours all night. I need her to just go to sleep instead of it being a 30 minute affair every time during the day and for bed at night. I need DS to just stop being so bloody defiant and aggro. I need to cry.

  2. #2
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    You poor poor thing! I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let u know that we all have bad mummy moments. I hope your little one sleeps well tonight so u can get some well deserved rest and start fresh in the morning. Take care x

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012)

  4. #3
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Sometimes absurdities creep in. Im a fifo partner with an almost 1 yr old, 3 and 4 yr old, I hear you! Go gently on yourself apologise to your DS and move on

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  6. #4
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    Oh hugs hugs hugs x100000. You sound like an awesome mum doing her best. Every mum has moments they aren't proud of. Tomorrow can you apologise to your DS for being angry and then put it behind you?

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012)

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    We all have bad moments, i couldn't read without replying. Don't be too hard on yourself. I don't have any children yet but it sounds like a really stressful day and i'm sure others will say they have had similar moments. Stay strong and I hope you get to talk to DH soon, sounds like your missing him and I'm sure he's missing you.

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012)

  10. #6
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    We all have bad days. Hope tomorrow is better for you!! If it makes you feel any better I screamed at my daughter to shutup whilst I was mid spew and she was crying at my feet!
    Were only human

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012)

  12. #7
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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    You must remember you are human.
    You must also recognise the challenges you faced today and all that you patiently responded to before you snapped.
    So your response wasn't ideal.
    You didn't harm your son.
    It is nothing a lot of cuddles can't fix.
    Chalk it down and start again.
    You are a good mum. Don't let this get the better of you.
    p.s. - I've been where you've been - I get it.

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012)

  14. #8
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    Thankyou. I went in to DS room 20 mins after I put him to bed, he was still awake and I got in bed with him and snuggled and got all teary and said sorry. He cuddled up to me and when he said "nigh-night mummy" in the softest, sleepiest, most beautiful voice I had to leave quickly so he didn't see my tears. I think that made me feel even worse! Its awful to see yourself at your worst isn't it, and to see my own child frightened of me is the most humiliating, awful thing I can remember

    But tomorrow is a new day and I'll be better after a good sleep tonight, might even get more than 3 hours in a row

  15. #9
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    Veve is offline Assistant Forum Manager :)
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    Quote Originally Posted by breakthemould View Post
    Thankyou. I went in to DS room 20 mins after I put him to bed, he was still awake and I got in bed with him and snuggled and got all teary and said sorry. He cuddled up to me and when he said "nigh-night mummy" in the softest, sleepiest, most beautiful voice I had to leave quickly so he didn't see my tears. I think that made me feel even worse! Its awful to see yourself at your worst isn't it, and to see my own child frightened of me is the most humiliating, awful thing I can remember

    But tomorrow is a new day and I'll be better after a good sleep tonight, might even get more than 3 hours in a row
    and its these bits we need to focus on

    I find after a rough day with the kids it is SO SO SO important to give them that extra hug at night time - and to make sure that as they drift off to sleep that they KNOW how loved and adored they are

    we all have bad days - its important to recognise it as a bad day - and work on making tomorrow a better one

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012),headoverfeet  (28-06-2012)

  17. #10
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    you are not a bad mummy. I have been there too... and I only have one. Hope tomorrow is a much better day for you.

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    breakthemould  (28-06-2012)


 

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