Start of my week was a good one. I started thinking "WOOHOO!" and was all positive and happy. I don't really know why... there wasn't anything amazing happening, but I was just thinking this would be a great week.
Now I'm all just down and not interested.
My alarm went off this morning and I fell back asleep, so when I was woken 1/2 hour after I should have been up, I decided not to even bother going to school... because our teacher just makes us sit and watch and not do anything if we're late, and I thought, "eff that, I'm not going in to do nothing." I briefly decided I could go in at lunch... but the 2nd half of the day is spent on theory lessons which are so obvious that I wonder why they're teaching them to adults. DD could easily pass that subject ffs (things like pics of an angry face and saying, "What emotion is this person expressing?" etc... lol.). I wasn't going in to sit there and be treated like a moron when I could do that workbook at home in an hour rather than several weeks dedicated to it...
But more than that, I was just "meh" about going in at all anyway.
I am feeling the same about tomorrow and I even LIKE nutrition (which is what I have tomorrow morning), so that's odd. I just feel like not going in.
I know it won't do anything detrimental to not go in... it's not hte hardest course and I expect to easily pass.
I just feel so MEH about everything. DP was chewing food in the car, and I envisioned myself just backhanding him (while I was driving) because of hte noise he made chewing.
DD spilt some drink on the backseat and when she told me I said, "It's cos you're an idiot." Then felt really bad about that, but at the same time, a bit "meh, she can suck it up," too, which again induced guilt.
I am unsure whether or not I will force myself to go to school tomorrow. DD is booked into vacation care anyway, so I will still send her regardless so I can be hopeless and lazy on my own.
When she asks me questions I give her whatever answer will see her leaving me alone quicker.
DP hugs and kisses me and I have to physically restrain myself from saying, "get the eff off me!" He's being nice, not trying to get some action. I just don't want anyone near me. I want to be left alone. I want to sulk... but what for? There is nothing going on to sulk about...