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  1. #11
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    I think kids being bored on school holidays is pretty universal. Lol. I'm really looking forward to, but at the same time dreading, the next 2 weeks school holidays. My poor little man is an only child so I've tried to organise my working mum friends to send their kids over to play with him but have so far only managed a few days and with the weather we won't be going far.

    What I would never expect is for DP to have him for 2 or more weeks school holidays if he didn't want to. I don't understand....why

    DS' stepmum used to love having him so it was a win-win because they got time together and the pressure was off my side of the family re vacation care fees but if she resented it or didn't welcome him into her home he'd be better off with his little friends in vacation care.

  2. #12
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    We have my ss for the week next week- tomorrow afternoon to next friday. DP cannot take time off, he is self employed so SS will go to work with him tuesday-friday and they will end up nearly killing each other as usual He will be with me Monday coz i dont work mondays (but I work tues-friday) but he will be bored sh*tless because I have an OB appointment LOL. I also cant take time off at the moment. We have him every second weekend and take him away with us at christmas times. I get a little miffed that we have him every holidays for half the time, his mum doesnt work but I guess she wants a break too. Its just that DP is on the road with work from about 4am-5pm and SS gets so tired, understandably so! He can go and stay with my mum if he wants, thats where my ds is during the day, but he doesnt want to.

  3. #13
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    We have DSS for 2 weeks every holidays and 3 over Christmas. DP is FIFO and is generally only home for about half the time DSS is here unless it's Xmas time when he takes time off. It's just not practical for DP to take time off every time he is here to have the full 2 weeks at home - bills, including child support still need to be paid and we still need to eat and no work = no money. In saying that DSS has 3 siblings here that he adores and the time he's here is as much about spending time with them as well. DSS and I do have a very close relationship and I love having him here which makes the situation easier in our case.

  4. #14
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    In our court orders, they only go to their father's for half the holidays if he can get time off. If he can't then they stay with me.

    Not sure what is going to happen over the summer holidays but we will see I guess.

    Hard situation to be in though as the step parent.

  5. #15
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    How is one parent working different? Why not book the kid into vac care like other working parents? It's not about one parent getting a break as much as the child staying with the other parent. Right? Us mums cannot win, we say no to school holidays and we are denying access, we send them in school holidays and we are placing a burden on the new family. Isn't it about kids accessing both parents and families?

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to share a book For This Useful Post:

    LivinOnAPrayer  (29-06-2012),Maia  (06-07-2012),Solarberry  (28-06-2012)

  7. #16
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    We have had an extra week of holidays here (: and they have been with me all week and it's been awesome (:

    They go their mums fri-sun (my girls go to their dads too), then again next week wed-fri... Then when they get home I'm taking all 4 kids to wagga for a few nights (:

  8. #17
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    We have DSS and DSD half of all holidays. If DH can't take hols they stay with me. I don't think BM likes it but that's what the orders say and they have fun here with my DD, and still see their dad in the evenings.

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    How is one parent working different? Why not book the kid into vac care like other working parents? It's not about one parent getting a break as much as the child staying with the other parent. Right? Us mums cannot win, we say no to school holidays and we are denying access, we send them in school holidays and we are placing a burden on the new family. Isn't it about kids accessing both parents and families?
    My SS is 15, so the decision is really in his hands now. He doesn't want to come over 2 hours away and stay with 3 little kids and a step mum. DH doesn't get home from work until 9 or 10 most nights anyway.He wouldn't want to be booked in to any "care". He's much happier being with his friends and his own town.
    As I said its not ideal in some people's minds but works well for all of us.

  10. #19
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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    Dp works FIFO and we have the girls every second weekend. If he stays in the girls still come over on whatever days I'm not working (shift worker). Dsd1 comes over every few days anyway to spend time looking after her horse. The girls and I have pretty good relationship. It probably helps that they're not so keen on their step siblings at bio mums

  11. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    My SS is 15, so the decision is really in his hands now. He doesn't want to come over 2 hours away and stay with 3 little kids and a step mum. DH doesn't get home from work until 9 or 10 most nights anyway.He wouldn't want to be booked in to any "care". He's much happier being with his friends and his own town.
    As I said its not ideal in some people's minds but works well for all of us.
    I think there is no right or wrong, hard or fast rules when it comes to step families. We are all kind of a new phenomenon IYKWIM so we each do what works for us or what we have to (it rarely suits everyone in my experience). It's a tough gig and we as step mums often face a lot of criticism from all angles. I'm also a bio mum and copped criticism from all angles for that. It's good we can come here for support and understanding from those in the same boat.

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