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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by brooke88(mum2b09) View Post
    I don't think you're being unreasonable OP, I'd be annoyed too. Especially at the exclusion of the others.
    It would have been more tactful and polite to speak to your DH first.
    Thank you

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    There *might* not be any ill-intent on the bm's part.

    As pp said, with a celebrity she wouldn't have a say in when the meeting was.

    As for asking/telling your hubby first, that's a fair point. Perhaps she just had a brain fart, was excited and didn't think. It's a little disappointing that the other kids couldn't go (especially your step son). I gather there were limits of some sort and a valid reason why the sd and not ss gets to go?

    Try not to get too worked up. Movie night can easily be changed.
    Hard to believe as there is almost always I'll intent on her part Might be a brain fart but I guess I'm just so used to her doing things just to be nasty.

    She'd never include my DD, DSS though, yeah, it's rough on him, IMO. I have no idea why he isn't invited. Movie night actually can't be changed, it's the only night before they step kids go back to their BM's that we can all go because of work/sport/etc.
    I realize movies are no big deal to most but we rarely go because of cost, time constraints, shift work and so on. I'd been looking forward to going (I get to the movies maybe 1-2 times a year hahaha)

  3. #13
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    I just have to say it. Every time I see 'BM' I immediately think it stands for 'Bowel Movement'..... although, I suppose in this instance, it's sort of suitable?

    Ahem, anyway.

    Yeh I think BM not telling you first about the celebrity outing is pretty poor form! I'm sure you would have let your DSD go regardless, but it sucks that you've missed out on movie night! (I haven't been to the cinema in about 7 years, I feel your pain!)
    Also, why the hell isn't DSS allowed to go?? That's just so mean! I would be throwing an epic hissy right about now if I were him! lol

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MagicMud For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (27-06-2012),VicPark  (28-06-2012)

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagicMud View Post
    I just have to say it. Every time I see 'BM' I immediately think it stands for 'Bowel Movement'..... although, I suppose in this instance, it's sort of suitable?

    Ahem, anyway.

    Yeh I think BM not telling you first about the celebrity outing is pretty poor form! I'm sure you would have let your DSD go regardless, but it sucks that you've missed out on movie night! (I haven't been to the cinema in about 7 years, I feel your pain!)
    Also, why the hell isn't DSS allowed to go?? That's just so mean! I would be throwing an epic hissy right about now if I were him! lol
    I think the same thing when I type BM- makes me giggle
    I'm guessing there is some restriction and only one guest is allowed per person or something? Still- not fair on DSS.

    Sometimes this stepfamily gig is hard :/ I'll get to the movies...one day.... Sigh.

  6. #15
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    I just want you to know ...

    I think we may deal with the same BM! Lol

    I can absolutely relate to almost every aspect of your post.
    Sometimes it does very much feel like emotional blackmail esp when BM tells SD things and she gets her all happy and excited about these plans and then drops the bomb on DH that he now has to give up half his time with DSD because BM has made plans in our time.
    Once in a blue moon is fine
    When you deal with this fortnightly you start to feel manipulated.

    If I were you I would ask your DH if he could arrange for BM to keep Your DSd overnight that night so the rest of you can enjoy your night but its hard when you often feel like your life/plans are not your own

    Hugs and congrats on your soon to be new bubby!



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  7. #16
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    I just had a thought, probably too late though. Could your hubby have said "yeah my daughter can go. Can you please provide me with all the details so I can take her, considering its her time with us."

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybumblebee View Post
    I just want you to know ...

    I think we may deal with the same BM! Lol

    I can absolutely relate to almost every aspect of your post.
    Sometimes it does very much feel like emotional blackmail esp when BM tells SD things and she gets her all happy and excited about these plans and then drops the bomb on DH that he now has to give up half his time with DSD because BM has made plans in our time.
    Once in a blue moon is fine
    When you deal with this fortnightly you start to feel manipulated.

    If I were you I would ask your DH if he could arrange for BM to keep Your DSd overnight that night so the rest of you can enjoy your night but its hard when you often feel like your life/plans are not your own

    Hugs and congrats on your soon to be new bubby!



    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
    Thank you! It's one of those situations, he's loathe to give her extra nights as he has had to fight so hard for what access he has, and I really don't blame him. Not that I'd wish it on anyone, it's still nice to realise it's not just us in this situation. Hope it gets better for you guys too

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I just had a thought, probably too late though. Could your hubby have said "yeah my daughter can go. Can you please provide me with all the details so I can take her, considering its her time with us."
    I know what you're getting at but it's BM's sister who has the meeting (because of her work) and BM will presumably be there, and if DSS can't go along, I doubt they'd allow DH! But I see what you mean

  11. #19
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    feel free to PM me anytime to vent, I understand just how frustrating it can be!

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

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    Atropos  (28-06-2012)

  13. #20
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    i know it is hard...but, i really think you should be looking at this from the kids point of view.

    Personally, I think you are making it more difficult than needed...all you need to do is say to bio mum "sure, but, for us to still do our planned outing...you will need to collect DSD at x time and have her over night". Simple...best for everyone.

    If you take away the "competition" of thinking it is DH v Bio mum on # nights and look at making it as nice as possible for everyone involved...then there is a simple answer.

    Imagine if DH had something amazing to do that he could just take DSS to...are you telling me he wouldn't want to excitedly tell him all about it? That he would expect BM to allow him to go as it was a once off and special thing?


 

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