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  1. #1
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    Default Need opinions

    I'm needing some opinions/advice.
    It's my mums 70th birthday next month and my step is organising a suprise dinner for her. We had planned on driving up, 8hrs, then possibly going on to qld for a couple of days holiday.
    My brother lives interstate and is flying up and hasn't seen my lg in 5yrs.
    I told my step dad that she would be with us (she goes to her dads every 2nd weekend) cause its our weekend with her and she would love to see her nanny and her uncle. I just got a reply back saying that it would best if she wasn't there cause the place isn't really child friendly but he hopes I can still go.As far as I knew we were going out to dinner so WTF !! I have been sitting here in tears cause if I don't go I'll be the bad child yet again and if I do go I'll have to find someone to have my lg for whole weekend and cancel our holiday plans. It's not like its a couple of hours away its 8hrs ! Also we are TTC so hopefully I won't be able to drink...although he is the type of man to say oh drink anyway.
    Advice please.

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  2. #2
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    I would be talking to step dad about how dinner is not child friendly also maki v the point of I'm sure your mum would want to see her grandchild for her birthday

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    I'd say sorry but if she can't come then we can't.. It is very unreasonable to expect you to travel that distance and not bring your dd.

    I was in the same situation with my brothers wedding, we'd have to travel to Queensland from Vic 2 months after our 4th child is due and he told me that children were not invited so i told him that there was no way we could come without them...
    We are now all invited and my DDs are flowergirls :-) such a relief..

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    I would speak to him. Don't try & sort this out by e-mail/text messages. Remind him that you really want to come, but it's 8 hours away and you need to bring your daughter with you. I don't know how old she is, but maybe he's concerned that she won't 'behave' at a restaurant, so reassure him that she is well behaved in public (I assume she is ) and she isn't a little baby who will make a scene.

    As for not drinking I don't see the issue. Not everyone has to drink alcohol and he can't force you to. Don't let him make an issue of it.

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    He said that he knows from previous conversations with my mum that she wanted just my brother and me and my DP. We have been up there twice this year and gone out to dinner, no problems. It would break my DD heart if she knew we were going to see nanny and she wasn't. I'm so upset about being put in this situation by him. He has had 6months to tell me she's not invited. My DP is at work too so I can't even talk to him about this til morning. I'm just so upset. I know my DP's mum would have her but its not the point.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    I would speak to him. Don't try & sort this out by e-mail/text messages. Remind him that you really want to come, but it's 8 hours away and you need to bring your daughter with you. I don't know how old she is, but maybe he's concerned that she won't 'behave' at a restaurant, so reassure him that she is well behaved in public (I assume she is ) and she isn't a little baby who will make a scene.

    As for not drinking I don't see the issue. Not everyone has to drink alcohol and he can't force you to. Don't let him make an issue of it.
    I can't call him cause mum is always there so he has asked me to email at 5pm so he can check it without her seeing. They have same email account.
    My DD is 5yrs and very well behaved at restaurants, he just wants it to be adults only. I don't want to ruin my mums suprise but I also don't want to let my dd down.

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  9. #7
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    Would there be any way you could take her and find someone who could babysit while you go to the dinner?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovehats View Post
    Would there be any way you could take her and find someone who could babysit while you go to the dinner?
    No, I thought of that but we know no one up there. The only thing I can think is that I tell him we can't go to dinner then but will meet them for breakfast. My dd has only started seeing them this year due to family issues and we have been there twice this year so she would heartbroken not to go. It's not like they are just up the road.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofprincess View Post
    I'm needing some opinions/advice.
    It's my mums 70th birthday next month and my step is organising a suprise dinner for her. We had planned on driving up, 8hrs, then possibly going on to qld for a couple of days holiday.
    My brother lives interstate and is flying up and hasn't seen my lg in 5yrs.
    I told my step dad that she would be with us (she goes to her dads every 2nd weekend) cause its our weekend with her and she would love to see her nanny and her uncle. I just got a reply back saying that it would best if she wasn't there cause the place isn't really child friendly but he hopes I can still go.As far as I knew we were going out to dinner so WTF !! I have been sitting here in tears cause if I don't go I'll be the bad child yet again and if I do go I'll have to find someone to have my lg for whole weekend and cancel our holiday plans. It's not like its a couple of hours away its 8hrs ! Also we are TTC so hopefully I won't be able to drink...although he is the type of man to say oh drink anyway.
    Advice please.

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub
    Stuff him. Take her anyway. If he has a problem with it he can just not go.

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  13. #10
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    I spoke to my DP last night when he got home and he is pretty ****ed off and said well we are not leaving her with anyone, my dd has the best step dad, I also want to see my brother and seeing as my brother will be there for 2 nights and the dinner is only one and we had holiday plans after that we are still going and I will just tell my step dad that we can't go to dinner then but we will meet them for breakfast. I know he will be ****ed off, everything is my fault but that's the way it is.

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