Is this rude??

**bellieellie** · 26-06-2012 14:47

My cousin had a baby and after disscussing gift ideas with her we settled on me paying for a newborn shoot for her and bub..It cost more than I would usually spend but she is a single mum with 4 kids and does it a bit tough (saying that she gets a lot of help from the church every week paying bill,food baskets and also other family members help her out heaps). She had everything given to her for the baby..10 times what I bought for my DD and has everything for bub until she about 4 years old.
The newborn shoot included a 8*10 free and a 6*8 free. So she didn't have to buy any.

Well she has spent the money I gave her for it, and now I feel stupid giving it to her. She lives a distance away from me so I might not have been able to give to her on the day. The photo shoot has been cancelled....she is not answering my calls. Should I ask for my money back?? I never would have spent that much on a baby gift normally but thought it was worth it..

**HugsBunny** · 26-06-2012 14:48

wow - what did she spend the money on?

**bellieellie** · 26-06-2012 14:50

Not sure..grr

**Zombie_eyes** · 26-06-2012 14:50

Thats sad, she has taken advantage of your generosity, and those photo shoots are really expensive. I would ask what she spent it on firstly. Then make the decision to ask for it back or not (if she spent on frivelous crap then id be annoyed, if she bought groceries for her and the children with it i would not ask for it back)

It's still very rude.

**JaneDoe** · 26-06-2012 14:54

Rude, rude, rude!

How do you know she has spent the money?!

TBH I would have paid the photographer direct and have them issue a gift voucher

**missie_mack** · 26-06-2012 14:56

I avoid giving people cash for this very reason. How awful!

In a galaxy far far away....

**Boobycino** · 26-06-2012 14:56

wow that is very rude :-/

I wouldn't ask for the money back. I would probably more so would have wished she had said she didn't want a photo shoot but she wanted X or had said she has bills etc or something. because I'd have still given it but that feels bit rude and dirty. Particularly to not .br returning your calls to at least be honest and say thank you .

sorry

I'd be pretty hurt.

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**mel04** · 26-06-2012 16:23

That would be so disappointing.

I would write it off, lesson learned, next time give her a voucher.

**DesperatelySeekingSleep** · 26-06-2012 16:30

yes it is rude but maybe take it as a lesson learned. next time (if there is one) give a gift voucher for a shoot instead. Incredible idea though. a photo shoot. it would have been a priceless gift.

maybe she is embarrassed at having to use the money on something else.

**becandabub** · 26-06-2012 16:40

Aw, that story makes me sad. I think its incredibly rude of her, & incredibly generous of you to have given her the money in the first place. Its so hard because you know she does it tough, there's a real chance she has used the money for basic needs or stashed it away for when she's short on cash but is too embarrassed to tell you. I personally would not ask for it back, but I would tell her I know the shoot was cancelled & I was disappointed that she hadn't been upfront after I'd done something lovely for her & her baby. I'd also not be doing something so nice again.