WWYD - another crying in the car seat question!!

**MamaNurture** · 28-06-2012 10:14

Originally Posted by 4underfour

It's a no brainier for me.

Look, it's a no brainer for me too. As I said, we intentionally bought a car seat that would rear face as long as possible. We had every intention of keeping her rearfacing for the maximum amount of time. I am a big advocate of extended rear facing and continue to be. I also wish there were more options for rear facing beyond infancy - I know if there was a seat rated to a higher weight/height than we have, it would be installed in our car right now. I've also spent 6 months trying to find a solution to keep her rear facing. I'm continuing to do everything I can think of to make rear facing comfortable for her. Until then, I have simply not left the house in the car without DH, so that she is calm.

BUT I've also almost had an accident several times from being so stressed and so distracted. She SCREAMS. Really screams. She also chokes and vomits, and claws herself. She may be more protected from the risk of a car accident, but she is also at high danger of choking herself. Not to mention the cortisol and stress hormones that must be pumping through her body. I have absolutely no ability to use my hearing as a sense on the road and can't hear a thing while driving, which is very dangerous. I cannot concentrate well with the noise - I don't think anyone could.

Please don't infer I'm not taking my DDs safety seriously. Because I very much am.

**Savingfishfromdrowning** · 28-06-2012 13:58

Originally Posted by 4underfour

I would hardly call having a 6month old rearfacing "extended". And I disagree that listening to a screaming child and therefore being distracted 'defeats the purpose' of rear facing. Have you seen the videos of crash test dummies in ff and rf seats? The thought of those dummies being my kids sickened me so much that I have only swapped them when necessary.

I'd rather my child be facing forward and not be in an accident at all than be rearfacing and in an accident. The number of near-misses I had when DD was screaming really scares me when I look back on it. *She* might have survived a crash but I could have killed someone! It is NOT a safe situation.

Maybe if you were in the OP's situation you would feel it 'necessary' to turn your baby too?

**bumMum** · 28-06-2012 14:06

Originally Posted by 4underfour

I would really strongly discourage you turning her at this young age. She is too young basically and her risks of dying in a car accident are far higher if she is forward facing.
You could look at it this way, if you keep her RF she may get upset and cry, but at least she is safe in an accident. If you turn her FF she may be happier but possibly severely injured or die in an accident. It's a no brainier for me.

My DD1 used to cry in the car, I learnt to block it out as best I could. If she got hysterical then I'd stop to comfort but otherwise I pushed on, with songs and my voice.

Yeah that's helpful. "Your baby is more likely to die."
I was extremely depressed and iscolated and my daughter was sick a lot when she was born. Sometimes I had to drive a long way and I had to listen to hysterical screaming on top of the feelings of anxiety.. it was a recipe for a disaster. I turned her as soon as It was legal and I felt comfortable.

Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

**Smartiecat** · 28-06-2012 14:13

Originally Posted by 4underfour

I would really strongly discourage you turning her at this young age. She is too young basically and her risks of dying in a car accident are far higher if she is forward facing.
You could look at it this way, if you keep her RF she may get upset and cry, but at least she is safe in an accident. If you turn her FF she may be happier but possibly severely injured or die in an accident. It's a no brainier for me.

My DD1 used to cry in the car, I learnt to block it out as best I could. If she got hysterical then I'd stop to comfort but otherwise I pushed on, with songs and my voice.

Gotta love bub hub!! Ahhh it takes all types - life would be boring of we weren't all different!!!

I've never researched this but I am confident that the car seat manufacturers don't just pull numbers out of the air in when it is ok to test seats. There would be a lot of safety testing done to determine the minimum safe limit ... Before my head gets bitten off ... I 100% agree you should hold off on turning babies as long as safely possible BUT driving with a screaming baby and trying to soothe them while u drive is unsafe to you, your children and other road users

Turn her as soon as you can

**RmumR** · 28-06-2012 14:17

Ive had 2 car screamers and it totally sux.
It subsided a bit when they were turned around when they were big enough.
DD1 stopped just after she was turned around.
DD2 stopped last week when i brought a dual dvd player in the target toysale.lol

**4underfour** · 28-06-2012 15:38

*Sigh*. OP, I wasn't saying that you weren't taking your daughter's safety seriously. If you look, the person I quoted said they recommended you turn as soon as possible. I merely expressed the opinion that to turn at 6 or 7 months isn't as safe as keeping her RF.

And yes, FF babies ARE more likely to die in an accident. I wouldn't be turning her as soon as I could IF it were my baby. And yes, I have had a 'screamer' as well. Do what you want, sorry if my opinion offended you.

**MamaNurture** · 28-06-2012 18:53

Originally Posted by 4underfour

*Sigh*. OP, I wasn't saying that you weren't taking your daughter's safety seriously. If you look, the person I quoted said they recommended you turn as soon as possible. I merely expressed the opinion that to turn at 6 or 7 months isn't as safe as keeping her RF.

And yes, FF babies ARE more likely to die in an accident. I wouldn't be turning her as soon as I could IF it were my baby. And yes, I have had a 'screamer' as well. Do what you want, sorry if my opinion offended you.

Ok. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted you. I guess your strong language misled me.

At the end of the day, I am as big an advocate of rear facing as you are and I'm not happy turning her yet. I guess I'll have to hang out at home a bit longer and limit my travel until she is bigger.

**4underfour** · 28-06-2012 19:17

Sorry, I really didn't mean to imply you were doing anything wrong. From your posts, I understood that you were looking to do anything you can to stop swapping her. I was responding to some other posters.
Good luck. Hopefully the DVDs work!

**Bubbles10** · 28-06-2012 19:40

Just another thought, you said she had lots of toys back there and now you are getting a dvd... wonder if the opposite would work, only one toy and a light blanket over the straps of the car seat so she is getting LESS stimulation. Maybe the sun and everything else are too much for her?

**MsImpatient** · 04-07-2012 21:21

There is always a 'safer' option.

If you have tried all else, then why not try the forward facing..

It is not like you are just coming home from the hospital saying 'oh she might cry rear facing, so lets just not try and jump to forward facing'..

Do what works for you, where you have assessed the risk v reward v loonyness.

Did you say you got the DVD? Did it work?

Do you think you could try a bubble gun? (only on straight roads or at lights).. shoot some bubbles in the back and see if that calms her down...

Get a CD/MP3 of weird sounds (little sound clips) and play that throughout the journey... (boing!!! POW!!! Crash! etc).. No idea if any of these ideas would work.. Just thinking...

Oh and a tip I learnt years ago, is if you blow into a crying babies face, they stop for a second... So could you put a little fan somewhere to blow in her direction? (or is this considered too cruel for words?? Sorry if I offend anyone with this suggestion!)