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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    it's the risk/cost/benefit.

    bike riding, climbing trees, getting dirty = high benefit, low cost, low risk. they might fall and break their arms but we can deal with that.

    going to the toilet alone. easily dealt with. low risk. huge consequences. odds are my child will not get raped. and yes higher risk they'll be assaulted by a trusted family member or friend. but it costs me nothing to take him with me.

    your analysis may be different and that's okay too.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub
    I agree with this. It isn't hard to take them with you while you are little, or let them use the disabled toilets. Any assault survivor will tell you they would have done anything for it not to have happened, it scars people for life.


    Each to their own, each parent has to make their own decisions. No way i'd take the risk, especially as a I personally know someone it happened to. Trying to protect children isn't the same as wrapping them in cotton wool. A small child cannot fight off a fully grown adult, no matter how "resilient" they are. Not worth the risk.

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    I'm not denying that it HAPPENS. Of course tragic things happen all the time. It's just I believe the risk is waaaaaaay less than what you guys do, obviously. I'm not going to stop my son riding his bike/walking on footpaths/swimming/going for baths/climbing trees/being a passenger in a car etc etc because of some minuscule risk of something bad happening.

    I believe strongly in building resilience in my children, allowing them to be independent when they want to be, allowing calculated risks i.e. not wrapping them in cotton wool, and not being a helicopter parent. And as part of that philosophy, I won't be holding their hands in public loos until they are in high school.

    And if anyone actually HAS "statistics" on this I'd be interested to hear them!
    I believe all that too. You should see the things my kids get up too, lol...honestly they do some crazy stuff that alot of kids wouldn't be allowed, I assure you, lol. They catch the bus an hour to school, they climb really high trees and do double flips out of them onto their trampoline without a net haha...I run a pool s they swim all day, they have all ridden without training wheels before age 4 they can all go up to a counter and buy something, yada yada. Checking the toilets/taking them in with me really isn't a big deal, and it's not being a helicopter parent, it's just what we do, just like taking a mobile phone on the bus and having contact numbers written in their diaries, or having safety rules at the pool.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Whilst I feel for you and celebrate breastfeeding I think this type of mindset is detrimental to society as a whole. Any man there with children isn't there to lust over you feeding your child but is there to use the facilities with their children, as a parent. Their entitlement is just the same as yours to use the facilities. My husband has changed my childrens bottoms on mens stall floors because of the looks/stares/comments obtained from women in the parents room What is worse is that nearly every parent room (and I have done parent room evaluations) have a closed off area for those self concious about feeding
    This is a bit dramatic..give the girl a break. I was self conscious bf'ing at first, confidence comes with time. And if grown women are allowed to be self conscious changing out of swimwear in front of 10 year old boys in the change room, then a new mother is allowed to have a moment of *temporary* 'what the' when a man walks in the parents room when they are breastfeeding.

    Btw, you can't with 100% certainty say that every man in a parents room isn't going to think 'something off' when seeing a breastfeeding mother.

    I would kick my husbands butt if he ever changed my boys nappy on the herpes ridden floor of a men's dunny... Just because he couldn't cope with a few women's 'stares' in the parents room.

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  5. #74
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    I too won't let my son or daughter go to the toilet alone. Not over the top at all. I am all for their independence but not at the risk of their safety.

    Generally I go to the disabled toilets or parents toilet. No luck then we go to the ladies.

  6. #75
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    From child protection training I learnt that the worst spots for public loo's are places like the golden arches.

    It is not paranoia.

    We are in caravan parks a lot and most parks toilets come with the sign children are not aloud in under the age 8-10 depending on the park.

    My boys will most probably not be going to the toilet in a shopping centre by them self until they are at least 12- they can go together when the eldest is 12. Once they know what they are in danger of as well I guess. It is a long way off for me, but at 5 & 3 they won't be going by them selves anytime soon.

    I can understand any woman's discomfort in a family room when breast feeding when someone else comes in male or female, I also believe it is a place for all parents.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raising Leprechauns View Post
    My DS is turning 6 and asking to go to the boys. I have on occasion allowed him to use the mens alone - but its a case by case decision. Apart from that we use the disabled or parents room.

    Our local swim school has a sign up saying no boys in the ladies change room after 5. There is no way I am letting DS get changed alone in a room full of strangers! Im just choosing to ignore the sign at the moment.

    People could stare all they want - if I feel the need to take my DS to the loo with me for safety reasons I'll do it. I dare anyone to object to my face
    My gym/swim centre says 6 but I agree with you - I wouldn't send my 6 year old off to undress alone in the men's toilets. There is only one family change room and people use it to have their morning beauty session with their kids in a pram so it is always occupied. I think I'll be ignoring those signs too.

  8. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I just saw this thread, and remembered something that has always stuck with me. I remember, a friend’s father saying to me (who has been a police officer for 30 years) that he wouldn’t ever consider letting a primary school aged boy (up to 12) go into the boys toilet alone these days, especially in a city. He always said if they must go by themselves, send them into the disabled (where there is only 1), too many monsters out there that lurk in bathrooms. More than you’d ever think.
    I agree

  9. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    I'm not denying that it HAPPENS. Of course tragic things happen all the time. It's just I believe the risk is waaaaaaay less than what you guys do, obviously. I'm not going to stop my son riding his bike/walking on footpaths/swimming/going for baths/climbing trees/being a passenger in a car etc etc because of some minuscule risk of something bad happening.

    I believe strongly in building resilience in my children, allowing them to be independent when they want to be, allowing calculated risks i.e. not wrapping them in cotton wool, and not being a helicopter parent. And as part of that philosophy, I won't be holding their hands in public loos until they are in high school.

    And if anyone actually HAS "statistics" on this I'd be interested to hear them!
    Minuscule risk is why I will forever be traumatized from what happened to me as a child

    Don't minimize the risks
    There is nothing minimal about either the risk or the repurcussions of it
    It's not worth it
    Take him with you

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  11. #79
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    I hate the way "helicopter" parent is thrown around as in insult.

    why?
    some people are and some people are not..it does not need to be used as an insult.

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  13. #80
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    Ds is only 3 so I don't know what age but it will be a long time from now, I think parents that have been abused are more protective of our kids because of our experiences.
    I don't judge parents that aren't, but there are risks I'm not willing to take.no matter how small the risk is


 

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