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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Our pool has that sign too. It's difficult but needs to be followed somewhat. I have 3x issues when I go to the pool- DS1 is almost 10yo, so I let him to go the men's changeroom on his own, which is uncomfortable for me but to make him go to the women's would be humiliating for him. Then I have almost 7yo DD, who obviously comes with me to the ladies, but then there's always mums with their school aged boys in there that stare at DD when she's changing. If any of them went to her school she would probably burst into tears. And lastly there's almost 5yo DS, who comes to the ladies with me as he cannot get clothes on his damp little body without alot of help. He is very self conscious and last week he said a girl from his preschool was there, looked at his peepee and laughed. He was mortified and said he couldn't be friends with her anymore.
    There are no family changerooms at our pool. And no cubicles with doors (for showers). But I will have to do something about DS. Maybe I will take him out of the shower area wrapped in a towel and change him in the corner of the large changeroom, away from all the little girls. I think that other parents of boys should also consider doing this or similar, it's only fair for the girls that need to use the changeroom.

    Toilets I have no issue with as the doors are closed so no one needs to see anyone else's bits!
    How sad for your 5yo my son is 4 we go in the ladies to get dressed (public swimming pool) ... Even tho he doesn't care at all about flaunting his bits ... I always make sure he is covered between the shower and dressing area and then we find a corner

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Our pool has that sign too. It's difficult but needs to be followed somewhat. I have 3x issues when I go to the pool- DS1 is almost 10yo, so I let him to go the men's changeroom on his own, which is uncomfortable for me but to make him go to the women's would be humiliating for him. Then I have almost 7yo DD, who obviously comes with me to the ladies, but then there's always mums with their school aged boys in there that stare at DD when she's changing. If any of them went to her school she would probably burst into tears. And lastly there's almost 5yo DS, who comes to the ladies with me as he cannot get clothes on his damp little body without alot of help. He is very self conscious and last week he said a girl from his preschool was there, looked at his peepee and laughed. He was mortified and said he couldn't be friends with her anymore.
    There are no family changerooms at our pool. And no cubicles with doors (for showers). But I will have to do something about DS. Maybe I will take him out of the shower area wrapped in a towel and change him in the corner of the large changeroom, away from all the little girls. I think that other parents of boys should also consider doing this or similar, it's only fair for the girls that need to use the changeroom.

    Toilets I have no issue with as the doors are closed so no one needs to see anyone else's bits!
    That is just terrible on many levels.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

  3. #43
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    I'm not sure - I'll probably take jasper with me until hes at least 10.

    though I have had the lovely moment in a change room at fitness first after a swim stripping off and realising there is about a 10 year old boy there... that felt a bit awkward!



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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think the idea is you use the family change rooms. I've had my kids in the ladies' change room at the pool and had an older boy stare at DD1 while she was getting undressed and it made her really uncomfortable. I don't think he was being anything but curious but it was definitely awkward. Once DS reaches 5 if not before we'll only use the parents change room at a pool.

    Oh no - at the local pool we use the family change rooms. This is at a facility dedicated to swimming classes - only a boys or girls change room and just kids and parents - but still - I cant send my wet 5 year old in to the change rooms alone............

  5. #45
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    Sounds like the swimming lessons are a pain all over. We have resorted to taking an extra towel for the kids, wrapping them in the dry one and bringing them home to change. There are no doors on the showers at this pool either - and I'm clever - buti havent mastered the art of changing two wet kids in a loo cubical......

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Seriously? Its a parents room! That is just so disheartening on so many levels
    Seriously yes. I'm a new mum and new to BF and not at all comfortable getting my boobs out in front of any male not my DH. I was just being honest with my entire thought process.

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    VicPark  (27-06-2012)

  8. #47
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    I am lucky as my kids are nudists and really do not care who looks..
    they also dont seem to ogle others, yet...

    but my 10 year old will come into parents rooms, change rooms and toilets for the time being.

  9. #48
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    If I was outside the toilets and saw them go in and was going to be there when they came out I would let a 7 year old use the toilets themselves. Definitely by 10 I would let my children have the independence to use the toilets themselves. There are some really interesting research pieces that have been done around not exposing children to risks like gauging when someone is a bit strange, or being able to problem solve if they come out of the toilets and you're not there to meet them. Tim Gill is an academic who has done a lot of research on the topic (his website is called rethinkingchildhood) and some of his studies have shown that adolescents these days take big risks (like meeting someone they met online! Or trusting people who are a bit "off") because many of them haven't been given the opportunity to develop their own risk assessment processes as a child.

    Sorry, a bit off topic! But it's interesting to think about.

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    ChickyBee  (26-06-2012),Ellymoe  (27-06-2012)

  11. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Whilst I feel for you and celebrate breastfeeding I think this type of mindset is detrimental to society as a whole. Any man there with children isn't there to lust over you feeding your child but is there to use the facilities with their children, as a parent. Their entitlement is just the same as yours to use the facilities. My husband has changed my childrens bottoms on mens stall floors because of the looks/stares/comments obtained from women in the parents room What is worse is that nearly every parent room (and I have done parent room evaluations) have a closed off area for those self concious about feeding
    What I got from Mrs E's post was that she realized that afterwards, but was admitting that her initial involuntary thought was uncomfortableness. Is that right Mrs E? Sorry if I've read it wrong.

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    emzluvbub  (26-06-2012),Stiflers Mom  (26-06-2012)

  13. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justwant2beamummy View Post
    What I got from Mrs E's post was that she realized that afterwards, but was admitting that her initial involuntary thought was uncomfortableness. Is that right Mrs E? Sorry if I've read it wrong.
    Thank you yes. It was two thoughts, completely opposite to one another, all within a space of 5 seconds.

    I wasn't trying to alienate any dads as my DH would be in there shoes one day.

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