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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishtyban View Post
    I hate the way "helicopter" parent is thrown around as in insult.

    why?
    some people are and some people are not..it does not need to be used as an insult.
    Don't let it bother you. Be proud of it. I let DD make mistakes, I let her make her own choices (even if they're the wrong ones), I let her ride her bike and climb things she shouldn't..... And I let her do it all where I can see her. As PP said, they see helicopter parent, I see a supervised, SAFE child. No amount of name calling is going to make me think "gee, maybe I should risk my daughters safety, I wouldn't want to be seen to be a parent that hangs around!"

    But then DD is only 21 months old so the question really is moot ATM. She'll be with me for a loooong while yet

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  3. #92
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    I don't give two hoots if someone thinks I'm overprotective. I see it as my job to protect my kids while they are too young to protect themselves. Toilets are a known risk, and bad things have happened to kids alone in public toilets. (Just a few months ago a girl was held captive and beaten by other kids in a shopping centre toilet at Sunnybank).So mine won't go alone until they are out of primary school at least.

    I'd rather my kids have to deal with baggage from having an overprotective parent, than trauma (or worse) from being attacked/abused. Other parents can choose differently, different people make different risk assessments. But I'm firmly in the 'safety first' camp.

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  5. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    I'm not denying that it HAPPENS. Of course tragic things happen all the time. It's just I believe the risk is waaaaaaay less than what you guys do, obviously. I'm not going to stop my son riding his bike/walking on footpaths/swimming/going for baths/climbing trees/being a passenger in a car etc etc because of some minuscule risk of something bad happening.

    I believe strongly in building resilience in my children, allowing them to be independent when they want to be, allowing calculated risks i.e. not wrapping them in cotton wool, and not being a helicopter parent. And as part of that philosophy, I won't be holding their hands in public loos until they are in high school.

    And if anyone actually HAS "statistics" on this I'd be interested to hear them!
    You know what, I agree with you. I think we live in a way more paranoid society, and statistically (I heard, not gonna bother looking for the stats) crime hasn't increased at all, but we just hear about it on a global scale now, so it seems like more. We can all cite an incident where something had has happened that made the news. Having said that, I'll take my boy to the loo until he tells me otherwise, because they are pretty gross places in general. But I don't live in fear of monsters hiding in the loos. Also the comments about men having sex, they usually have particular toilets that are known beats, they aren't usually hanging out in family restaurants.

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  7. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexander Beetle View Post
    You know what, I agree with you. I think we live in a way more paranoid society, and statistically (I heard, not gonna bother looking for the stats) crime hasn't increased at all, but we just hear about it on a global scale now, so it seems like more. We can all cite an incident where something had has happened that made the news. Having said that, I'll take my boy to the loo until he tells me otherwise, because they are pretty gross places in general. But I don't live in fear of monsters hiding in the loos. Also the comments about men having sex, they usually have particular toilets that are known beats, they aren't usually hanging out in family restaurants.
    I totally agree with this.

  8. #95
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    Having trouble quoting the bit I wanted on my phone but 'helicopter parenting' was originally coined to describe parents who are still hovering over their late teen/ adult children as though the kids are still toddlers. College/uni students who's parents come in to challenge grades for one example.

    Taking a 12 yr old boy into the ladies may be seen as over protective, but making a 17 do it would be helicoptering.

    Unfortunately it's been quickly warped to mean 'any parent who parents in a way I* consider over protective"

    *generic I, not me personally.

  9. #96
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    What about when you see little boys in the ladies with no mother ... She is waiting outside?
    I've had this happen an 8-9yo using the ladies but the mum is outside waiting ... What is the point they may as well be in the men's!

    Personally I don't mind if there are boys maybe up to 10 in the ladies ... They are all closed door cubicles so you can't see anything ... But I don't think I will feel the same with dd going into the men's

  10. #97
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    But I don't think I will feel the same with dd going into the men's
    Maybe that's how the mother you described above feels.

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  12. #98
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    I guess at the end of the day, each to their own. People have to parent the way they think is right. If you are willing to take the risk with your child with all the advice out there, then i guess you have to be able to wear the consequences of something happening. It’s probably also worth noting that many boys who are attacked and assaulted never report it to anyone, so the real stats are probably a lot higher.

    It isn’t helicopter parenting to protect children. Falling off a bike and breaking an arm doesn’t leave a lifelong emotional scar. Personally, I’ll take the advice of a police officer who has seen it happen numerous times at our local shopping centres over many years. Children are precious, why you would take unnecessary risks is beyond me, but as said, each to their own.

  13. #99
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    The problem is that it isn't the parents who will wear the cost, it is their children. The parents will wear he guilt. This parenting gig is a big responsibility, can't be taken too lightly IMO.

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    I think in all honesty, there is no right or wrong.
    If a child gets attacked, the guilt lies purely on the psycho that attacked them.

    Whether you are a helicopter or free range parent, no child should be attacked.

    We just all do what we do, to get through best we can.

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