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  1. #21
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    Maybe it is because I am getting old lol but I think it is friendship that keeps a relationship going long term, and by long term I mean those people who celebrate their 30,40,50 year wedding anniversary.

    Passion comes and goes, the movie version of love and lust ebbs and flows but if a strong friendship is there then the relationship will last through the different stages - if people want it to.

    I do not like the term ' settle' but yes I would settle because I know, through my old age (lol) that being with someone who I consider to be my best friend is more important than the other 'accessories' of a relationship.

  2. #22
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    My grandmother always said 'you have to marry a man who loves you more then you love him. Never marry a man who you love more and no two people love each other equally.' Well thats how it translates anyway.

    As for me I really dont know. In one way I think the 'head over heels' feeling goes away. In another I think I couldnt settle.
    I really dont know, I have tried to get to know nice guys but I dont feel anything for them..its really bad and I wish I did.
    But then I think settling is like lying to them you know, its not fair to marry a man you dont completely love, its not fair on him because he deserves to be fully loved.

    Anyhoo love is complicated and I wont pretend to understand.
    So basically my answer is I know squat..lol

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  4. #23
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    I don't think Mr Nice guy is settling - IMHO, going for the treat 'em mean guy is settling because who settles for that kind of treatment?

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  6. #24
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    I feel sorry for any guy who has a partner is only with him because she "settled" ... How horrible

  7. #25
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    I think she just means in the dating sense.. so would you date s guy you normally wouldn't sort of thing.. that's how I read it.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

  8. #26
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Nope, no way in hell

  9. #27
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    I always tell my partner I'm the settler and he's the reacher!!!

  10. #28
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    never settle! it's not fair on either people. And don't settle for the treat em mean type either, even if they stir those wonderful feelings in you. I was lucky to find a man who treats me nice and also stirs those feelings at the same time. And I wouldn't have found him if I had of settled for the relationship I was not happy in (but was comfortable in iykwim).

  11. #29
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    Definitely agree to not settling for the mean guy even if he excites you!!!

    When I was a single time I had no time nor energy for heartbreak. It's just not worth it when it's you plus your child/ren you have to think of. At the first sign of a date being even a bit of a jerk I ended it there and then. I wasn't looking for a father for DS per se, but when I was looking for something serious a pr!ck is not living with my DS no way, no how.

  12. #30
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    I am actually not sure I'm "relationship material". Not that the passion is not there, and the guy is not nice- but just that I am not....flexible? Is that the right word?

    My relationship with my last partner failed and I am starting to think it was in large part to myself. I believe I have a serious problem with control and dependency. So much so that I believe when the time is right for me to have another child- I will be doing it single-handadly, again!

    If that control and dependency issue wasn't there, I'm not sure I could settle. I would want to grow old hand-in-hand type relationship and I'd worry that settling for anything less than the real thing might not bring that. Than, I wonder if settling for the "nice guy next door" (not your nice guy next door Ang! Lol), at least there's probably a good chance you'd be good friends at the end of it all.


 

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