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  1. #81
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    Perhaps he needs to realise that there are other ways in which he can be the 'fun dad', but that this is off limits.

    Not only is it illegal, and highly risky, but it is upsetting you. I don't understand why he isn't taking your feelings into consideration here?

    There are lots of parenting (and other) things where DH thinks I worry too much/ am over the top, BUT he agrees to do them/ not do them because he knows how important they are to me.

    I'd also be talking to your DH about the worst case scenario resulting from his actions.

    As an example, my DH will let DD climb high play equipment, and encourages her to be a little bit fearless. He is there to catch her if she falls, and his reasoning is that he wants her to have confidence in her physical abilities. I'm a little more cautious. However, I understand that the worse case scenario is that she falls, and DH catches her, or he partially catches her, and she injures herself a bit on the way down.

    While I don't want that to happen, I think it's important for her to gain confidence in doing these things, and I think DH is right. Therefore the reward is worth the risk (IMO).

    In your circumstance, the reward is that your DH feels like the fun dad, and your DS enjoys it. The worst case scenario (I'm sorry to say) is that an accident happens and your DS dies. To my mind, the reward is not worth the risk. Not when there are so many other things that could achieve that same reward (e.g., your DH taking him to play centres), with very minimal risk. It's an unnecessary risk.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brightsilverstar View Post
    You know what he bought this up to his ddefence last night as well
    We used to smoke in hospitals too. Doesn't mean it's right.

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  5. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Regina Phalange View Post
    Wow, im shocked that he clearly has no regard for his child life. A man will put his family first. He isn't behaving like a man, he is behaving like an immature little boy. If it were my Dh, I would take my dd and leave him. I think you should tell the child care, and if they see him arriving with a 21month old not in a car seat, they will be legally required to report it. I would also get some photos or your ds and Photoshop it and give your dp the pics of ds lying in a coffin, looking like he has been in a car accident, all bloody, etc. Very distressing stuff - but no where near as distressing as if he continues to put him unrestrained in the car and it actually happens. He will have to live the rest of his life knowing that he caused his child's death due to his recklessness.
    Beside the fact I couldn't bare to see my son like that... I told my dh if our son had even broken an arm in the stunt he pulled I would've killed him, he said you wouldn't need to as he would've done it himself...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    We used to smoke in hospitals too. Doesn't mean it's right.
    And cars didn't go as fast back then, they also weren't mostly made of plastic.

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  8. #85
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    The boy I look after is 21 months old, I can barely get him to stay in his car seat much less what he'd be like in a regular seat. What if he climbs out?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brightsilverstar View Post
    You know what he bought this up to his ddefence last night as well
    Yep. I hear it a lot from parents... You have to drive the message home that a lot of stuff we used to do WAS dangerous.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

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  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    Actually yeah thats another thing I used to stress over- I forgot to mention! Everyone saying to leave him, the biggest thing I thought was, if we broke up, I'd have NO control AT ALL over what he was doing when the kids went to his place for weekends etc. I decided I'd rather have him close by so I could at least keep an eye on him, than to hand them over to him every weekend and have no idea what he was doing"
    Exactly!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brightsilverstar View Post
    Exactly!
    Except that if this is documented and reported, you are well within your rights to deny him unsupervised access to the child.

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    It is illegal for any child to sit in the front seat under the age of 12. Did you know that if a child is sitting in the front seat of a car that has air bags and they are in an accident that the air bag can kill them?

    The bones in their face are not mature enough or developed enough to sustain an injury to the face. It pushes the bones into thier brain KILLING them.

    My 11 year old son used to ask me all the time if he could sit in the front and I have ALWAYs said NO.

    OP I'm sorry your DH doesn't see anything wrong in driving with your DS unrestrained. He realy needs a reality check. I just hope it doesn't come at the cost of your DS.

    I know a little baby who was properly restrained and her mother fell asleep at the wheel after a really rough night with a very sick bub. She was driving home after seeing the local GP fell asleep at the wheel and crashed her car. The baby broke her neck and was dead at the scene and a passerby (luckily a DR) revived her but she was basically a lifeless child. She was on ventilators to keep her alive. She couldn't move or cry or anything. She could only just move her eyes. They had to make the heartbreaking descision to turn her life support off.

    This was truly heartbreaking for the family and for freinds to hear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    Except that if this is documented and reported, you are well within your rights to deny him unsupervised access to the child.
    Yeah I dunno, I think if it went to court, they would just say he had to have them properly secured at all times in his care. I doubt they'd stop him having his kids unless they caught him a couple of times. It wouldn't be worth the stress for me personally.


 

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