i can't believe people will excuse dangerous, malicious behaviour as being normal, expected behaviour from a mil to dil.
DotF - obviously i know a lot more of the back story that you've posted on bubhub (or facebook for that matter).
Stand up for yourself. you've been letting her manipulate the situations since your DD1 was born. [as evidenced by the threads on bh]
this isn't a case of being old fashioned, or not knowing the current regulations. she choose to ignore your requests, and the requests of your DOCTOR. she is ignoring medical advice. - and i know she's been at the hospital when they stressed the sids risk to your DD2.
i am GOBSMACKEd, absolutely gobsmacked that people will excuse this behaviour.
your baby could have DIED. its not a 'little issue'.