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  1. #1
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    Default HELP - 17 mo needs 2 hours of cuddles to fall asleep

    I am going insane here

    DS is cuddled to sleep for his nap (takes 10 minutes), and up until about 2 weeks ago, was breastfed to sleep for his night sleep. For the last 3-4 months he's been sleeping through most of the time. He'll often wake once, but DH rubs his back and he'll fall back asleep in 10 minutes.

    We weaned him a couple of weeks ago, and now we try to cuddle him to sleep for his night sleep - IT'S NOT WORKING. At first it was taking an hour - ok, we thought, that's him getting used to falling asleep without boob. Now it's taking 2 hours OR MORE every night of cuddling on our lap.

    He doesn't seem to be comfortable, he wriggles around and moves positions. We try putting him in his cot and singing to him and rubbing his back and this might work after 2 hours of cuddles about 50% of the time. He gets very upset if we try this earlier on.

    Now - I have a few questions:

    1) What can we do? Should we ride it out a bit longer? Is it related to weaning and eventually he'll get over it and fall asleep in 10 minutes like he does for his nap?

    2) Should we try to get him to fall asleep in the cot, even if he gets hysterical? Is it worth doing this considering he's sleeping so well overnight? Is it mean to do this so close to him being weaned?

    3) We have to move his bedroom and were thinking of moving him to a single bed. We thought this might actually give us a chance to create some new bedtime habits and hopefully get him used to falling asleep in bed. Is this insane? Should we hold off putting him in a single bed until we teach him to go to sleep without 2 hours of cuddles?


    Please don't suggest the No Cry Sleep Solution - read it a million times. And he has a bunny which is like his lovey but he gets grumpy and throws it away. We have a very consistent bedtime routine. He isn't overtired (well he is by 9pm but not at 6.45 when we start this nonsense).

    Help please!!

  2. #2
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    I'd go the new room new bed option. Start fresh. Even if it means you laying down with him for him to go to sleep. It's so hard. But I still lay/ cuddle all 3 of mine to sleep. it's the only part of the day they have me totally to themselves. Good luck.

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by wigglemum View Post
    I'd go the new room new bed option. Start fresh. Even if it means you laying down with him for him to go to sleep. It's so hard. But I still lay/ cuddle all 3 of mine to sleep. it's the only part of the day they have me totally to themselves. Good luck.

    Thanks, that's what I was thinking - but wasn't sure if I'd be making a big problem bigger. I guess, he has to move bedroom anyway, might as well make all the changes at once and deal with the issues before #2 comes along.

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    Not speaking from experience here but I would try the new bed and do it all at once.
    With the wriggling when you're cuddling him DS does this too so now after a cuddle I put him down and lie on the floor and pat him/sing or just sit in the chair until he's asleep. He does get mad sometimes but it's getting less frequent.
    I know how you feel about being mean. I night weaned and stopped co sleeping at the same time. I felt so bad but I couldn't do one without the other.

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

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    New room, new bed sounds the best, that way you can establish a new way of doing things.

    And laying with them is much easier to Do then holding, and easier for you to leave once he's asleep.

    It probably is related to weaning, and he's obviously searching for that comfort, all of which you can give him lying on the new bed.

    Good luck

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    duckduckgoose  (25-06-2012)

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    When you do make all the changes (room, bed etc) get the new routine happening but make sure it's something that is manageable once the new baby arrives too. You dont want to be changing things again for him.

    When I moved my eldest into a bed it was the best night sleep in a long time.

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  11. #7
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    Thanks everyone. Looks like new room, new bed is a good way to go.

  12. #8
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    Been there done/doing this now.

    I weaned my DD1 when I was 7mths pregnant and she was 19mths old. Till then I fed to sleep and it took 10-30mins depending on how overtired she was.

    now we cuddle to sleep. some nights its 10-15mins... last week it was 2hrs 10mins, last night 1hr 10mins. We also now have a new baby in the house so its bedlam.

    We moved DD1 to a single bed so it was easier for me to resettle (I was too pregnant to lean over a cot) overnight. this is what we do. Bath, pjs, cuddles on the couch watching heartbeat or whatever is quiet and dull on tv. Or Law and order DVDs. After 1 episode we take her upstairs to bed and lie down next to her in the dark. She is very happy to watch tv and usually falls asleep during the episode. But if she isnt then we take her upstairs and thats where she stays. Eventually she gets over lying in the dark with no communication and goes to sleep.

    We do have the "wee mummy", or "Poo now" which means another toilet trip but thats all we do in the dark and no chatting. It is 2 steps forward and 1 step back but its happening. DH does the settling as I've dealt with DD1 all day and quite frankly its his turn for bedtimes. I've done all bedtimes before as I bf'd to sleep.

    also me being in hospy for a week really affected her and she was RIDICULOUS last week but is slowing improving day by day. We do tire her out as much as possible by taking her to a park/walk every afternoon and limit her day naps to 2/2.5hrs... Also our day starts at 6am so that she is tired enough by 7/7.30pm.

    good luck and get your DH to do it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Majestic Hiss View Post
    I am going insane here

    DS is cuddled to sleep for his nap (takes 10 minutes), and up until about 2 weeks ago, was breastfed to sleep for his night sleep. For the last 3-4 months he's been sleeping through most of the time. He'll often wake once, but DH rubs his back and he'll fall back asleep in 10 minutes.

    We weaned him a couple of weeks ago, and now we try to cuddle him to sleep for his night sleep - IT'S NOT WORKING. At first it was taking an hour - ok, we thought, that's him getting used to falling asleep without boob. Now it's taking 2 hours OR MORE every night of cuddling on our lap.

    He doesn't seem to be comfortable, he wriggles around and moves positions. We try putting him in his cot and singing to him and rubbing his back and this might work after 2 hours of cuddles about 50% of the time. He gets very upset if we try this earlier on.

    Now - I have a few questions:

    1) What can we do? Should we ride it out a bit longer? Is it related to weaning and eventually he'll get over it and fall asleep in 10 minutes like he does for his nap?

    2) Should we try to get him to fall asleep in the cot, even if he gets hysterical? Is it worth doing this considering he's sleeping so well overnight? Is it mean to do this so close to him being weaned?

    3) We have to move his bedroom and were thinking of moving him to a single bed. We thought this might actually give us a chance to create some new bedtime habits and hopefully get him used to falling asleep in bed. Is this insane? Should we hold off putting him in a single bed until we teach him to go to sleep without 2 hours of cuddles?


    Please don't suggest the No Cry Sleep Solution - read it a million times. And he has a bunny which is like his lovey but he gets grumpy and throws it away. We have a very consistent bedtime routine. He isn't overtired (well he is by 9pm but not at 6.45 when we start this nonsense).

    Help please!!

  13. #9
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    yep - new bed definitely - its much easier for them to snuggle into you lying down and you can leave. also easier when there is a belly in front of you.

  14. #10
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    Thanks izzy's mummy. I often think that your DD and my DS sound very similar, especially with sleep routines etc. It's good to know you're going through the same thing although of course I sympathise especially with a newborn. Luckily I have 6 months to get this sorted.

    Great that everyone agrees new bed, new room. I'd love to not have to lie in bed with him to get him to sleep though, but it will certainly be better than cuddling in the chair.


 

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