View Poll Results: Would you support your parents?

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  • Yes, because I want to

    47 72.31%
  • Yes, because I feel obligated to

    6 9.23%
  • No, because I dont want to

    3 4.62%
  • No, I am unable to (financially/poor relationship etc)

    4 6.15%
  • Other

    5 7.69%
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  1. #71
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    Yep I would in a heart beat, my dad is under palliative care ATM and we have offered to do a dual occupancy home with both mum and dad.

    I would happily help out financially with the inlaws however due to some strains in the relationship that are in the past but can easily present them self again in the future I would be very reluctant to share a property with them.

  2. #72
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    Definitely within a heart beat I would help my mother or in-laws (never my father though, he can rot in peices lol).

  3. #73
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    "love your neighbour as yourself" - this also applies to any family member. So yes we would. No matter how difficult it would be cause its the right thing to do

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  4. #74
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    yes we help now with mil where ever possible. we would do anything for our parents

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillynix View Post

    We already help my Mum in a way, she's our tenant in our investment property and she pays below market value in rent.
    Same here - my mum lives in our investment property and currently plays almost market rate. But she has the option of paying less as she gets older/earns less. she has also offered to when I return to work to look after our kids for a day or so in exchange for less rent. I'd rather charge less rent to my mum than pay a child care centre

    win win situation.

    My dad I'd help emotionally and with errands but he is well off financially. My inlaws are also well off financially but would look after them if they needed/wanted us to due to health reasons.

    Already help out looking after my grandparents - I cook for them (my brother pays for the ingredients and I donate time/effort).

    I agree with the previous poster about having a village - you cant want a village to support you and not agree to give back to it as well.

  6. #76
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    I spent 2 years caring for my mum. Never again! She is rude, selfish and mean. She can stay for a few days - week or 2 at the most, but I'll never live with her again. I also wouldn't give her money.

    I'd think about it for my father and inlaws. Although my mil is a clean freak and even dp said he couldn't live with her again.

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpeamummy View Post
    It intrigues me also. I recently travelled through Vietnam and was humbled and fascinated by their living arrangements. Generations live together, working together and helping each other as an extended family. They have the village that I hear the Bub Hub community wishing for. I will bet that their mental health is exponentially better than here as well.
    Also if families took more responsibility for each other it would take pressure off the welfare system. People would argue why should their family be their problem, they have worked hard for what they have. Because I believe charity starts at home and we would live in a much less consumerist and selfish country if we looked after and nourished our extended families.
    I understand that when any violence or abuse has occurred in your situations that this doesn't apply.
    But I have forgiven my father for him being a s$it dad because he is trying so hard to be a great granddad and when he is staying with us I have a little village and I can have a break.
    Countries like Vietnam put more value on their family and friends than their stuff and to me this just makes sense.
    my DH is Asian, and the same family set up applies, and my mums are hippies, so very communal, which is why the concept of choosing not to provide for your family, when you can afford to, suprises me.

  8. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post
    My Mum? No way, no how. There is no way I could live with her. I would be miserable. She hasn't been a great Mum to me and I know that having her here would be detrimental to myself and my family. And DH would probably leave me as he can't stand her either. I would probably visit her in a home out of duty, but would have to force myself.

    .
    This. Dad we could live with but perhaps with his own dwelling on the property, not directly in the house as DH, myself and dad wouldn't feel comfortable. We all enjoy and need our own space. MIL yes for sure but again in a different dwelling. Her partner no way as he is an *******.

  9. #79
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    it would depend really on how desperate the situation was.I feel pretty strongly against the idea with my inlaws because my mil never worked a day in her life and my fil chose to retire 20 years ago, whereas both my parents still work full time. I would be much less I inclined to help someone who hasn't made the effort. plus they annoy me.

    BUT bottom line is there's no one in our immediate family we would leave homeless while we have a roof over our heads. so if it came to it we would have either parents or siblings live with us but I wouldn't be thrilled about it.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  10. #80
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    I think it has a lot to do with how you are brought up. My parents stuck their parents into nursing homes as soon as they became a little frail. I think they did this because it was at no cost to them and causes the most inconvenience



    Didn't stop them from criticising the staff, though.


    I wouldn't look after my parents as they are very selfish and have been all through my life.


    I would feel pressured to take them as my partner would insist.


    I think the preservation thing would kick in though a they would not add anything to the family (ie. would not feel obliged to pay any bills or look share childcare or household duties/finances when living here and this is from experience).


    On the flipside, as soon as we were working, we were expected to pay 80% of our income to the parental purse as soon as we were working.


 

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