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  1. #1
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    Default Going back to work and feeling lost

    I'll start by saying I'm almost positive I have PND. I need to go to the Dr but keep putting it off.
    DS is nearly 8 months and my PPL has just finished. I realised this today as the payment hadn't gone through. I need to go back to work as we are already struggling with debt and can't live off Dh's wage alone. It'll be as soon as week after next.

    I'm struggling really bad with the thought of going back. I'm in tears and when I started crying about it, DH said 'it's nothing to get upset about'. He really doesn't understand. I'm feeling really sick to my stomach and I feel like vomiting. I don't think I can do this :-(

    Has anyone felt like this? How did you manage? I know I have to deal with it but not sure how I can cope.

  2. #2
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    Sorry you're feeling down

    Can you pinpoint the biggest thing that is making you unhappy? Is it the thought of leaving bub in daycare? The thought of not being with bub? Stress from money worries? Overwhelmed from everything involved with looking after bub?

    I'd make time for that doctor appointment ASAP. Find a cafe nearby and grab a coffee too. Can you have a heart to heart with hubby?

    I'm due to go back to work soon. That is, if I can find daycare. Sometimes I feel a little down wondering if I can trust bub in someone else's hands. Then I get flashes of positives: having a break from cleaning, feeding, cleaning, alllllll day. Chatting with other adults. And the clincher: the look of absolute joy on bubbas face when he sees and 'plays with' other babies (at mothers group, I know he will love the other babies at daycare).

    Anyway big hugs and feel free to vent on here!

  3. #3
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    Thanks :-)

    I think it's a mixture of everything. I really don't want to be without him. I don't have to put him in day care as Dh and Mum will juggle him so thats a positive but I'm also already overwhelmed trying to keep the housework done (no motivation due to depression) and I can't bear coming home to deal with it all. Money worries are definitely prominent in my mind. I try to tell Dh but he's struggling with my depression and doesn't know how to deal with it. I just feel so overwhelmed and unhappy with everything in my life right now. Going back to work makes it all harder and more complicated and I just feel like I can't cope.

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    I feel your pain. I'm going back in 4 weeks and it's causing me alot of stress. I have PND but I'm on medication for it and feel great. That is until I think about going back to work. Then my anxiety levels sky rocket.
    My DH doesn't really " get" where I'm coming from as he has a very " she'll be right" attitude with everything.
    I just keep telling myself that I went back full-time with one child so I'm sure it will be fine with 2 children.
    It's so hard but try not to overthink it.
    What part about going back to work is stressing you? Is it leaving bub? Is it wondering how you'll cope?
    Mine is definitely the organizing things factor. I've been home for 7 months and run a tight ship, very organized and I think I'm most fearful of the wheels falling off.
    DH tells me to just relax and let things be what they'll be.
    I'm not much help but wanted you to know your not alone xxx

  5. #5
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    Im sorry you're going through this
    Im not suffering with pnd but like you am stressing about the finances. I possibly will have to go back to work soon too once my payments finish. My DD is only 4 months. The thought of leaving her with anyone else, even trusted family members makes me feel sick. I want to be the one looking after her. I love being with her every day.

  6. #6
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    I know when I'm stressed writing lists helps me. If I can't solve something then and there, having a plan at least gives me some control. A month or so I was a bit stressed over money (private health to have a bub is highway robbery!) so I drew up. New family budget. We're now clawing back bit by bit. And as for housework what a pain in the but. I feel like I can never get on top of things, when you've cleaned there's a spew and another load of washing. Or the cats make a mess. So I re-jigged my daily routine and I get up 1/2 hour early and express. That little 1/2 hour has just helped me feel a bit more on top of things.

    Anyway, best of luck...

  7. #7
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    i know exactly how you feel i didn't have pnd but i couldn't stand the thought of leaving ds and going back to work. i tried a couple of days (dh had ds at home because he works from home).i hated it so so much we sat down and made plans of how i could afford to stay home (sell 1 car, spend less however possible, dh do more hours) i feel so much better i just wasn't ready ds is now 15 months old.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  8. #8
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    Thank you all.

    I'm going to sit down over the weekend and see what I can do re: finances and see if we can squeeze a month or two out of DH's wage. I think we might manage this month so I'll get another few weeks at home. I'm feeling so flat about it all. I think I was hoping something would happen and I'd be able to stay home for good. Now that reality has set in and I know it has to happen, I'm panicking. It's also hard as DS isn't sleeping through and I am feeding him at least once or twice a night still.

    to everyone else struggling with going back to work. This part really blows

  9. #9
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    I struggle with work commitments too, my anxiety is almost unbearable when I have to work in some jobs. I've had some jobs which have been totally fine with because I enjoyed them and I didn't have any huge responsibilities to people (I was working outside laboring and didn't have to deal with customers or bosses ect) I work better when I am more or less left to my own devices, my anxiety is shocking when I have to work with demanding people, I just end up sobbing and become paralyzed and useless in that environment. Meds don't help much, they seem to make me worse. I am really sorry that you feel this way, it's a horrible burden to bare. I am still learning how to cope with anxiety in the workplace, it's a long road but eventually it will get easier. Sorry that I can't offer any help, just I totally get what you mean


 

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