+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19
  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    547
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    268
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    If he really wanted to spend time with them, he could make the adjustment with work - it's one afternoon a fortnight that he would finish early.

    I would definitely go to mediation and have them made into consent orders.
    I am not single but have been thru this with my brother ... I think it is entirely reasonable to have alternating weekends withxh ... And maybe a provision to see them during the week if possible for his employment????

    I think the comment above is actually really unfair ... Without knowing his employment circumstances ... A lot of employers can be e xtremely inflexible when it comes to this ... U may say its only one afternoon a fortnight but it is not necessarily possible.

    Good luck with it

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    1,932
    Thanks
    1,440
    Thanked
    585
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hes a truck driver so quite often he is interstate for some of the week, I know for a fact that he could arrange to have dd and ds one afternoon a fortnight if he really wanted to but it seems like he doesn't want to make any comprises he just wants to have everything how he wants it iykwim

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to cluckcluck For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (20-06-2012)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,779
    Thanks
    327
    Thanked
    940
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I do not think it is unreasonable that you ask him to change the times that he spends with the children on the alternate weekend but keep in mind that you are the one who has now got a fulltime job and you want to change things to suit you and it is not necessarily fair that he should have to change plans that have been working to suit you.

    I do think it is unreasonable if you expect him to take less time in school holiday sagain to suit you and in my opinion the Family Court would agree.

    The children's wishes do not start to carry much legal weight until they turn 10 so unless you have evidence that he is not treating the children well or they are unsafe with him, the Court would order that they have to spend time with him and you will be required to encourage this.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    1,932
    Thanks
    1,440
    Thanked
    585
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks for your reply

    Him having them on my saturday morning was agreed to by me on the proviso that if it didn't suit then we could mediate and change it.

    I dont want to limit the amount of time he spends with them in the holidays but I want him to try and plan for them in the holidays not just forget about it and then expect to have them every weekend iykwim.

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,779
    Thanks
    327
    Thanked
    940
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    In that case I agree your proposals are reasonable.

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    1,932
    Thanks
    1,440
    Thanked
    585
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I did the review today.

    Basically xh is having the kids every alternate weekend and every thursday arvo.

    I'm ok with it but dd was hysterical when I told her, she is flat out refusing to go, not sure what to do

    I thought I was doing the right thing, ds seems happy with the arrangements.

    Do you think counselling would help dd ?

  8. #17
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    6,603
    Thanks
    4,531
    Thanked
    1,966
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hmmmm not sure what you can do with your dd. When does she turn 10?

  9. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,779
    Thanks
    327
    Thanked
    940
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think counseling is something to pursue, both for her individually and also as a family if your ex will participate.Family counseling would not be about you and your ex getting back together but rather about showing the children that you both want what is best for them and making them feel confident that they can enjoy the time that they spend with both of you.

    In respect to your daughters wishes the Family Court will start giving them weight from age 10 but in my experience it is not until a child is 13 and over that those wishes have significant influence (unless there are strong reasons to support a younger child's wishes eg abuse by one of the parents).

    Unless you have evidence that your daughter is unsafe, or being abused or neglected when with her father the onus is going to be on you to ensure that the plan is complied with (having said that a parenting plan does not have to be enforced by the Court but going against it with no good reason may not be looked on favorably should the matter end up before a judge).
    Last edited by MsTruth; 22-06-2012 at 00:02.

  10. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    1,932
    Thanks
    1,440
    Thanked
    585
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks

    Dd is 10 next year, I've told her to at least go for a while before she makes up her mind and that her dad loves her and wants to spend time with her.

    She said she doesn't want to go because he doesn't look after them properly and just feeds them maccas and she hates his house, she thinks it's haunted


 

Similar Threads

  1. Parenting Plan
    By Cromo in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 16-05-2012, 15:53
  2. Where has Tizzie Halls review gone from the review section?
    By OS&N in forum Pro - Controlled Crying
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-02-2012, 22:01

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Einsteinz Music
Make music at Einsteinz Music in age-appropriate class in Sydney's Inner West, Eastern Suburbs or North Shore. For ages 6 mths - 4 yrs. All music is live! Christmas Gift certificates available for full term or casual classes. Call 0431 338 143
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Ro and Co
Ro and Co kids cooking classes and parties are a fantastic way for children to experiment with food. The classes and parties are designed to be both educational and fun, giving your child the skills they need to be confident and creative in the kitchen.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!