Parenting plan review

**Smartiecat** · 20-06-2012 14:04

Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs

If he really wanted to spend time with them, he could make the adjustment with work - it's one afternoon a fortnight that he would finish early.

I would definitely go to mediation and have them made into consent orders.

I am not single but have been thru this with my brother ... I think it is entirely reasonable to have alternating weekends withxh ... And maybe a provision to see them during the week if possible for his employment????

I think the comment above is actually really unfair ... Without knowing his employment circumstances ... A lot of employers can be e xtremely inflexible when it comes to this ... U may say its only one afternoon a fortnight but it is not necessarily possible.

Good luck with it

**maybenumber3** · 20-06-2012 14:14

Hes a truck driver so quite often he is interstate for some of the week, I know for a fact that he could arrange to have dd and ds one afternoon a fortnight if he really wanted to but it seems like he doesn't want to make any comprises he just wants to have everything how he wants it iykwim

**MsTruth** · 20-06-2012 14:24

I do not think it is unreasonable that you ask him to change the times that he spends with the children on the alternate weekend but keep in mind that you are the one who has now got a fulltime job and you want to change things to suit you and it is not necessarily fair that he should have to change plans that have been working to suit you.

I do think it is unreasonable if you expect him to take less time in school holiday sagain to suit you and in my opinion the Family Court would agree.

The children's wishes do not start to carry much legal weight until they turn 10 so unless you have evidence that he is not treating the children well or they are unsafe with him, the Court would order that they have to spend time with him and you will be required to encourage this.

**maybenumber3** · 20-06-2012 14:31

Thanks for your reply

Him having them on my saturday morning was agreed to by me on the proviso that if it didn't suit then we could mediate and change it.

I dont want to limit the amount of time he spends with them in the holidays but I want him to try and plan for them in the holidays not just forget about it and then expect to have them every weekend iykwim.

**MsTruth** · 20-06-2012 15:37

In that case I agree your proposals are reasonable.

**maybenumber3** · 21-06-2012 19:52

I did the review today.

Basically xh is having the kids every alternate weekend and every thursday arvo.

I'm ok with it but dd was hysterical when I told her, she is flat out refusing to go, not sure what to do

I thought I was doing the right thing, ds seems happy with the arrangements.

Do you think counselling would help dd ?

**HugsBunny** · 21-06-2012 23:15

Hmmmm not sure what you can do with your dd. When does she turn 10?

**MsTruth** · 21-06-2012 23:22

I think counseling is something to pursue, both for her individually and also as a family if your ex will participate.Family counseling would not be about you and your ex getting back together but rather about showing the children that you both want what is best for them and making them feel confident that they can enjoy the time that they spend with both of you.

In respect to your daughters wishes the Family Court will start giving them weight from age 10 but in my experience it is not until a child is 13 and over that those wishes have significant influence (unless there are strong reasons to support a younger child's wishes eg abuse by one of the parents).

Unless you have evidence that your daughter is unsafe, or being abused or neglected when with her father the onus is going to be on you to ensure that the plan is complied with (having said that a parenting plan does not have to be enforced by the Court but going against it with no good reason may not be looked on favorably should the matter end up before a judge).

**maybenumber3** · 21-06-2012 23:36

Thanks

Dd is 10 next year, I've told her to at least go for a while before she makes up her mind and that her dad loves her and wants to spend time with her.

She said she doesn't want to go because he doesn't look after them properly and just feeds them maccas and she hates his house, she thinks it's haunted