I think you are talking about manners, not chivalry.
If you and your DH want to go back to ye olde times where he had to put his jacket over a puddle for you to cross, for him to stand at the table if you get up etc this is fine. What I don't appreciate is some of the other posters implying that it's rude to not want to be treated in certain ways Like you MUST let somebody call you names you don't like, you MUST let someone else carry your bags even though you're happy to carry them as you're able bodied and capable.
THAT to me is bad manners. Treating others in a manner you know they do not appreciate.
My DP (male) despises being called 'champ' or 'buddy'. He finds it condescending. Nothing to do with feminism or chivalry or medieval times.
I find being called a lady condescending (I'm not a lady by any stretch of the imagination) so I think it's bad manners to call me a lady even though I find it offensive.
See, told you OP that "Lady" was offensive.
Meh. I figure I can't please everybody and am resigned to this fact. I'm an all equal rights supporting, seat giving-upping, door-opening, heavy bag carrying, dinner paying new age old fashioned sort and I'm not gonna change a god damn thing! It's not sexism to me, it's courteous behaviour and I, personally, don't see a problem with it.
So neh Benji.
I only have a problem if somebody is forcing someone else to be called things or be treated in a way you know makes them feel uncomfortable. I don't think that's courteous at all
People do sometimes say 'that lady' in reference to me. I usually let it go. But if someone constantly referred to me as that and they knew me well I would say "could you please not call me a lady, I don't appreciate it" and they continued, I would say they are being rude, not me.
But you're such a lovely lady?
Yes, I'm feeling cheeky today. You know how I get like. Lol.
Fine, we've finally got something we disagree on you and I!
Im with Diamond Eyes..
Manners and thoughfulness is one thing (helping elderly or just generally anyone you see struggling)
Chivalry as in women being treated as dainty things (man must open doors for, pull out seats for, all this stuff) to me is insulting and irritating. I see women as strong, so why do they need to be treated as weak? Why should men act as slaves if we are equal? You do these things to help those who cant do them themselves (babies-elderly)
Women are not unable
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Lol - but LADY?? Me??
You're still my bestie though!
I don't think it is it has just changed to fit in with the times. I love being out and any man treating me with respect like waiting for me to go through the door first if we are walking they walk on the road side to protect me however when it comes to paying for dinner or outings for me I get uncomfortable because I work I can afford to pay my own ways. However when they pay for it or refuse to let me pay for it it's a lovely gesture but on no way do I expect it.
I really hate this strident, almost hysterical note that creeps in to these kinds of discussions. Feminism is supposed to be about CHOICE. If I choose to seek out a man who displays these kinds of manners then whose business is it but mine? Why accuse my dear, well mannered husband of treating me like chattel or me of wanting to BE chattel? Because that's what it boils down to.
I will be teaching DS to open doors etc for ladies as well.
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