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  1. #31
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    I have no problem with the old concept of chivalry being dead, as others have said I can seat myself, do not need a man per sae to give me his seat.

    However, what I do think is dying is manners, from both males and females, in our society.

    Good manners is that you hold doors open for people if you are going through and can see someone waiting to also go through, offering up a seat for someone who looks like they may want it eg a pregnant woman, an elderly person, a person with a disability, saying please and thank you etc

  2. #32
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    I get OP point. chivalry is about honour and courtesy. It isnt dead. I think people get caught up in life to notice sometimes. It goes both ways. It is about opening a door for someone, giving up your seat to someone who needs it more, helping someone cross the road if they need help, stopping to help someone in need. Basically it is about taking a few minutes out of your time to help make someones life that little bit easier. It is not chauvanistic, feminist or rude.

    An elderly man/woman opens the door or helps his/her equally elderly wife sit down or helps her cross the road. Is he/she a chauvanist? Or would you rather see the wife yell at him/her, push him/her away siting equal rights.

    Personally I think it is the most heartwarming act to see. I would rather have someone open the door for me than slam it shut behind them, help seat me rather than pull the seat from beneath me or kiss my hand rather than shout obscenities.

  3. #33
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    I wouldn't wait to be seated by my husband at a restaurant... but if he does pull out my chair for me, I will take a seat. I don't throw it back at him or imply that in any way he is treating me as having 'special needs'. I smile graciously and be happy that I have a wonderful husband.

    If it is raining he will offer me his jacket. If I am cold he will take off his one shirt to wrap it around my shoulders. When he opens a door for me, or lets me walk through one first, it reminds me that he loves me.

    I'll hold a door open for him every once in while too. I'll also hold a door open for any stranger down the street. That doesn't make me a hero.

    I like to be treated as an equal by men. I don't mind if they swear in front of me or talk about women in front of me, I like to be included in their 'man-ly' activities like hunting, fishing and fiddling with the cars and tools. I also like my husband to make me feel loved.

    I'm not a feminist, I am a realist. Society has changed but that doesn't mean that good old fashioned manners have to be thrown out the window.

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to CountryLovin For This Useful Post:

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  5. #34
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    DF often pulls my chair out for me if we go out to dinner, because that's how he was raised. I wasn't raised that way & we go out so rarely that when he does that, I assume that's where he wants to sit and take a different seat for myself!

    DS often holds the door open for people. One day at kinder he held the security gate open for the mothers who leaving and out of at least a dozen women, not one of them so much as acknowledged him, let alone says thank you. The same group of mothers who had just been complaining how rude their children were lately. It was a real struggle not to say anything.

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  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by CountryLovin View Post
    I wouldn't wait to be seated by my husband at a restaurant... but if he does pull out my chair for me, I will take a seat. I don't throw it back at him or imply that in any way he is treating me as having 'special needs'. I smile graciously and be happy that I have a wonderful husband.

    If it is raining he will offer me his jacket. If I am cold he will take off his one shirt to wrap it around my shoulders. When he opens a door for me, or lets me walk through one first, it reminds me that he loves me.

    I'll hold a door open for him every once in while too. I'll also hold a door open for any stranger down the street. That doesn't make me a hero.

    I like to be treated as an equal by men. I don't mind if they swear in front of me or talk about women in front of me, I like to be included in their 'man-ly' activities like hunting, fishing and fiddling with the cars and tools. I also like my husband to make me feel loved.

    I'm not a feminist, I am a realist. Society has changed but that doesn't mean that good old fashioned manners have to be thrown out the window.
    Well said

  8. #36
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    There is chivalry and then there is kindness & manners.

    When I was working and catching the bus heavily pregnant with twins, the only person who ever offered me a seat ever was this elderly lady - she must
    ve been 90+. I was horrified, I was trying to get her to sit down and she was trying to get me to sit down, meanwhile a whole bus full of young people pretending they couldn't see us.

    Seriously- I don't want doors held open for me, but if I see someone who needs a seat- I get up, and I bleeding wish others would do the same. What a lovely society we would live in if everyone stopped putting their own selfish wants before others.

  9. #37
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    In conclusion, chivalry is dead and replaced by bad manners or none. Thanks I'll stop holding doors open and giving up my seat to strangers, I'll also stop expecting the waiters in restaurants helping me to my seat or pass the menu to me first etc. and everything else that once was.

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  11. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post
    In conclusion, chivalry is dead and replaced by bad manners or none. Thanks I'll stop holding doors open and giving up my seat to strangers, I'll also stop expecting the waiters in restaurants helping me to my seat or pass the menu to me first etc. and everything else that once was.
    That's manners, not chivalry. You're not a knight.

    Nothing at all wrong with having manners.

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  13. #39
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    No one seems to understand what I'm trying to say! Please close this topic...

  14. #40
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    I respect and appreciate men who do the old fashioned stuff. It's a nice surprise when it happens.


 

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