I felt the same way. I thought, how am I going to relay the mess in my scattered head to a stranger, when I don't even get it myself?
For me, I had always wrote out my feelings, especially in the midst of my most severe episodes.. I guess I found putting my thoughts down on paper would help me work it all out. So, I had pages and pages of my ramblings and just kept bringing them in to my sessions to show him. It was much easier than trying to dissect my brain!
If you find a good counsellor or therapist, like I did, they are a God send- they know what to say, they can help, it's what they're there for.
I would rather go through a full on bout of depression than go through a period of anxiety again. I know how terrible it is, and that it feels like it's all your fault and nothing anyone can do or say can help you.
I second (or is that third or fourth?) the suggestion to go to a psychologist. Your GP can help you but you don't have to talk much about anything if you don't want. you can just say that you don't feel well and ask for a mental health care plan and a referral to your community mental health care team.
In my most severe state, I took medication which helped me enough for cognitive behavioural therapy to really work. I'm certain that I wouldn't have gotten through it without both of these resources. However, now that I have the strategies to recognise it when it start, I have no need to medication.
the most relieving thing I felt was when talking with my psychologist about all the crazy things that I thought were my fault and that were coming for me. Turns out they were perfectly normal for someone with anxiety!
I dont have anxiety - but hubby has it .. and he tried loads of different approaches, and then eventually decided to trial medication. Please do try other things first - as the medications can be quite full on .. and they are very hard to stop taking (you need to basically wean yourself off the drug - stopping cold turkey can have quiet horrid effects). HOWEVER .. having said that .. the changes in hubby since he has been on medication has been incredible. He says he can still 'feel' the anxiety and thoughts, but that he can easily disregard them ...
it took some trial and error with the medication too - the first one gave him night sweats that were terrible - but his GP switched him to a similar mediation from a different family and he hasn't looked back.
Take care - please know that its VERY common to have the feelings and stresses that you are going through, and as hard as it is .. you aren't alone focus on getting to that first appointment and work with your psych ...
Can I ask a questions? I have had some huge worries recently. Finances and health being the main ones. After I put DS to bed and the house is quiet and empty, my mind wonders. I get cold sweats, sweaty palms and feet, hot and cold, palpitations, goosebumps, tightening feeling in my gutt, etc.
I also get this same feeling when I accidentally forget to take my painkiller. It is a very heavy duty one and I take them twice a day. If I forget it once, I get withdrawal symptoms.
So the first thing I do when I start feeling like this, is check if I have not forgotten to take my meds. Most of the time, I haven't and I am left to wonder what else it could be.
Do you think the excessive worrying and fear about my financial life (and therefore my health) hitting critical point, could be causing these symptoms?
Would you call it anxiety or something else?
All I know is that I can't get it to stop and I feel terrible as I sometimes snap at my poor little man who just wants to sit on mummy's lap or hop into her bed for a cuddle.
I'm such a horrible mum
Misschief: First off, you are certainly not a horrible mum!
It does sound like anxiety to me. Anxiety comes in many different forms.. most of the time, for me, it not the usual day to day trials that set me off.. yes, I worry about finances and stuff, but when I'm having an anxiety attack or depressive episode, it's nothing I can put my finger on.. I have obsessive, irrational thoughts.. I almost become delusional at times.. it's different for everyone. Plus, I know that the thoughts are irrational, and that makes me question my reaction to them, like, why am I feeling anxious about these bullsh!t thoughts, and in turn that makes me MORE anxious.. then I become trapped in this crazy cycle in my head! Anxiety is an awful thing.
Last edited by ~Marigold~; 19-06-2012 at 15:58.
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I am scared by the thought of letting go of my anxiety in a sense also.. not because I enjoy it at all.. I don't. But when I hyper obsess and worry for some stupid reason this makes me feel like I am "prepared" for the worst case scenarios I think of.. like if I am worried about the latest whooping cough break out or being robbed or whatever.. I always feel like if I stay in an alert state I am in control.. which is of course totally ridiculous.
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Think of a raging river, so fierce and out of control that it threatens to engulf you and sweep you under it's waves. You're walking along side it, knowing that before long it's going to drag you in and you're going to drown. It's exhausting walking around the edges of it, trying to keep you balance- so, you just dive right in, before it gets you.
I'll never, ever forget when he said this- it's exactly what I do- immerse myself in it before it has the chance to catch me unawares... that way, I still kind of feel like "I'm" in control.. it didn't engulf me, I went to it willingly. Make sense?
It's a coping mechanisim, I think.. it can be scary going through life with NO anxiety, as ridiculous as that sounds, but it feels like you're always watching your back, waiting for it to strike you down. When you're "in it", you're already there... there's not threat or waiting.. which is just anxiety anyway..
It's so complicated yet makes complete sense.. to me, anyway, lol.
I think that's it for me, I NEED to be in control and find it very hard to let go! And have very HIGH expectations that my husband, children and myself don't always meet which stresses me out! Just breathe...
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