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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I'm really not able to understand some of your responses... Perhaps they might relate to an 18 year old who needs to learn how to budget, save and develop a work ethic. But if your child was grown, had a family, had saved a deposit and was paying off a mortgage they hardly need you withholding funds to teach them how to handle money!

    If someone paid off my mortgage it wouldn't magically make me any less responsible or hard-working .
    What about their sense of pride or achievement.
    Its a huge deal to pay of your house.
    And it doesn't matter how responsible someone is now you would be surprised what money can do to people.
    When you work hard and pay a house off you have learnt so much not just about money but about goals and achievement.

    I just wouldn't do it for my kids, other people can do as they want.

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  3. #22
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uniquey View Post
    Well that's just it, people are responding to it from their own point of view and circumstances, so unless you (generally, not you Lambjam) know the age(s) they're referring to in terms of their Pov, you (again general) wouldn't understand unless it aligns with yours. In regards to my own thoughts, I was thinking of them starting out, not married with children and possibly a spouse helping them out too. But evenso, I still wouldn't pay off their mortgage as a gift unless I was extremely wealthy.
    True. I'm looking at it from the POV of the OP, as that is the scenario I was presented with.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    What a strange thing to say. Maybe it just occurred to her at some point and it's been playing on her mind?

    If I had enough money that it didn't affect me otherwise, and if I had enough to provide for all my children equally, then of course I would give it to them. Their own home, what a wonderful gift to give.

    I suppose those of you who think otherwise won't be leaving your estate to your children in your wills? Because it's exactly the same, except this way I'd be able to see my children and grandchildren enjoy their home while I'm alive.
    Yes this also. I would in a heartbeat.
    I would love to see my children live life to the fullest without a mortgage hanging over their heads. What a wonderful gift to be able to give! They would have more time for each other and their children without constantly worrying about working and bills.. Might even allow one of them to stay home if they wanted too instead of returning to work.
    I hope I can do this for all of my children one day!

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  6. #24
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    To all the people saying you wouldn't pay off your kids mortgage. Would that change of you won $10 Million on lotto, and say the balance on your kids mortgage was $300,000?

  7. #25
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I'm really not able to understand some of your responses... Perhaps they might relate to an 18 year old who needs to learn how to budget, save and develop a work ethic. But if your child was grown, had a family, had saved a deposit and was paying off a mortgage they hardly need you withholding funds to teach them how to handle money!

    If someone paid off my mortgage it wouldn't magically make me any less responsible or hard-working .
    My XH is 31. Last year he earned over $100k. Over the 6 years we had our mortgage, only $12,500 was paid of it. Credit cards constantly maxed out, he just recently spent over $4k on a car he doesn't need, has a company car, company phone and expense account yet cries poor and 'can barely afford to eat' yet you can guarantee that beer is bought before food.

    So no, not everyone who is grown up with a family and has purchased a home is able to manage their money well.

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    It's not really a simple yes or no question is it? We can ony speak from our own POV. If our mortgage was suddenly paid of it would be awesome. It would make paying the private school fees easier, would mean we don't have to struggle for petrol week to week, would mean I could employ someone else so I could work a little less, would mean we could have an extra holiday with the kids each year. I don't really attach any pride to paying off a building, I really don't

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  10. #27
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    Nope I wouldnt. Not even a car. I never had any Financial help from family even when we were desperate (I am talking big things like this- enough to buy groceries is different).

    I would help out of they needed it and had proved that they are usually responsible with money. But not to the extent of paying off a mortgage.

  11. #28
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I can't fathom having enough money to pay off 3 mortgages so probably not! If for some reason we magically started rolling in it...I don't think so either? I would do everything else to support them to make good financial decisions, to get a job that will sustain them and their choice of life style, I would bail them out if as a pp said they were going to loose the house but I don't think I would hand them that much money. I think I would give them smaller gifts if it helped them out, a car for example.

  12. #29
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Yeh I definately would if I could afford it. But then you have to leave yourself enough money for your retirement/old age.

    My dad has helpt us out a fair bit getting set up, but never paid out our mortgage or made our repayments for us.

    He would never say 'I could but I won't'.

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    If we were loaded I would do what my friends FIL did with his 3 kids, they all had to save their deposits, get their mortgage approved and just before they signed the papers he asked them to show him the paperwork first, when they did he gave them a cheque for the full amount! He told each one not to tell the others so they all had no idea until the youngest bought his house! All were in their early 20,s and the average was about $300,000 ( this is 15 years ago!) they are now all successful business owners with bigger better houses

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