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  1. #11
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    In a heart beat. I wouldnt think twice about paying off my sons mortgage.
    We have 2 bank accounts set up for DS (20 months). One is for when he turns 18 to buy a car or travel. The second is for when he decides to purchase a house. DS will not know about either account so he will not be relying on the money.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eleven Eleven View Post
    Yep, if I had the money and I could still have plenty left after then of course I would.
    If she (DD) was in a position to get a mortgage then she obviously isn't a drop kick.
    I don't see why not, she's going to get it when I die so might as well give her happiness and extra money to make her happy now.
    This.

  3. #13
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    If I was really rich and my kid had a good work ethic and good with Money I would. If I had enough money to pay off their mortgage but it would mean I'd have to curtail my retirement (no travelling etc) then i wouldn't.

    Pehaps your mil has enough money but isnt actually rich?

  4. #14
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    What a strange thing to say. Maybe it just occurred to her at some point and it's been playing on her mind?

    If I had enough money that it didn't affect me otherwise, and if I had enough to provide for all my children equally, then of course I would give it to them. Their own home, what a wonderful gift to give.

    I suppose those of you who think otherwise won't be leaving your estate to your children in your wills? Because it's exactly the same, except this way I'd be able to see my children and grandchildren enjoy their home while I'm alive.

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    It's weird she just randomly mentioned it.

    I agree with her though. You learn nothing by being given things like that. I would only ever do something major like that if they had no way to figure out a way to do it themselves.

    Sure, you hand it over and they're happy but I don't think it's beneficial long term.

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    How random of your MIL, especially when there was no lead up to that type of conversation, she was obviously trying to flex some serious MIL muscle!

    No, I wouldn't pay off my childrens mortagages. In a heartbeat I would help them out if they were in dire (financial or not) straits, but I don't see paying off their mortgage as falling under that category. I also wouldn't buy them a Car or big ticket items like that. The only time I ever would is if I were wealthy and they were deserving (which I would hope they would be) as in productive, hard working, moral and contributing citizens.

    I am of the school of thought that they need to work hard and have a good work ethic to achieve those things themselves, not be handed them on a silver platter, but again, I am not heartless, if they needed help I would most certainly help them.

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    If it would make life easier for my child and their kids then I would. If someone paid off ou mortgage now, it would make no difference to how hard we work. Weird thing for her to bring up though...

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    I'm really not able to understand some of your responses... Perhaps they might relate to an 18 year old who needs to learn how to budget, save and develop a work ethic. But if your child was grown, had a family, had saved a deposit and was paying off a mortgage they hardly need you withholding funds to teach them how to handle money!

    If someone paid off my mortgage it wouldn't magically make me any less responsible or hard-working .

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    I don't think I would help them to the point of paying off their mortgage but I would certainly be there to take any edges off when they are struggling or just starting out.

    The personal rewards for creating your own success far out weigh the relief of being debt free via hand out. I want my children to feel like they have achieved in spite of our help.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I'm really not able to understand some of your responses... Perhaps they might relate to an 18 year old who needs to learn how to budget, save and develop a work ethic. But if your child was grown, had a family, had saved a deposit and was paying off a mortgage they hardly need you withholding funds to teach them how to handle money!

    If someone paid off my mortgage it wouldn't magically make me any less responsible or hard-working .
    Well that's just it, people are responding to it from their own point of view and circumstances, so unless you (generally, not you Lambjam) know the age(s) they're referring to in terms of their Pov, you (again general) wouldn't understand unless it aligns with yours. In regards to my own thoughts, I was thinking of them starting out, not married with children and possibly a spouse helping them out too. But evenso, I still wouldn't pay off their mortgage as a gift unless I was extremely wealthy.


 

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