I agree with Rachell- totally sensible advice!!
You are worht it, you deserve better than what he is giving and his behaviour. He does not deserve YOU.
YOU can do it alone and will be ok if that is your choice!
I would leave, or at least be separated for the time being.
How awful for you. What did you say to his mum?
You poor thing!
I agree he is full of crap - he says nothing ever happened but the text this morning was to meet up, intent was there and I'd be certain he has met with others before!
I would seek a counsellor for yourself to be able to deal with all of this!
Deceit has been happening for a significant period of time and you have been unhappy for a significant period of time also, I think I would find it very hard to continue on all trust has totally been lost!
First up take a few days to yourself to process your emotions and get your head around it before you have contact again and then take it one step at a time!
Good luck! If you chose to end things you will have do much support to do it on your own from many lovely ladies here on the hub - you will get through this xx
How horrible for you, I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. And 2 years of it! I'd feel sick knowing that.
First I think you'll need to determine whether he's genuinely sorry. For hurting you, for being deceitful and for all of the pain he has caused. Or, is he just sorry that he GOT CAUGHT?
And do you really want to save the relationship? You said yourself that you wanted to leave before all of this.
I just can't comprehend how he can be so shady for so long and still be able to sleep at night. Says very little about his character. How amazing that he is only remorseful now that he's been caught out. Where was the remorse during the last 2 years? He didn't care about you thrn, so why now? Maybe because he's realised that he can't have his cake and eat it too.
I'm sorry. Good luck.
I would absolutely do counselling. Mainly because you are expressing such confusion and doubt. You don't want to cut and run here and then think 5 years down the track "I wonder what would have happened if I had just attended one or two sessions of counselling...."
How I hate Facebook for this.
My DF did this at the beginning of our relationship, what less than 2 months in.
I did some investigating before confronting, he didn't know the women and had declined whenever they suggested to meet up BUT he did ask for photos. (I read fb messages etc)
The excuse was 'I was drunk, thought it was funny. I never met them or did anything with them and never would have. Just having a laugh'
The fact he had declined to meeting was the only reason I gave him the choice to leave or to stop. I told him that even though he didn't DO anything, he still initiated and it was like he wanted to do something or looking elsewhere.
We stayed together, I randomly hacked his account every now and then for a few months afterwards.
But truthfully, almost 4years later it's still in the back of my mind.
I don't know how I would handle 2years of it. :s
I would be separated and try counseling to see if there is a marriage to save.
Best of luck, so sorry this has happened to you
Last edited by waterlily; 25-07-2012 at 19:27.
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