Closed Thread
Page 9 of 63 FirstFirst ... 78910111959 ... LastLast
Results 81 to 90 of 621
  1. #81
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Of course! I've had four wonderful, empowering and positive births, and I will never stop being grateful for that. But there's an arrogance, a superiority that some women possess, and it's this competitiveness that she's trying to address. As far as I'm concerned there's just no room for arrogance or superiority in this context.

    As I said earlier, there's a difference between feeling proud of your own achievements and feeling superior to others.
    I agree. I get annoyed by the "look at me, look at me... I had THE best birth because I stood firm And did it exactly how I wanted." It smacks of hoighty toighty-ness.

    I also get annoyed by people who aren't flexible with minor hiccups (not talking about severe trauma) eg "oh no, I was forced to have the gas and I didn't want to.. Wah wah wah." seriously birthing is a complicated process, and as with life you can't always get your own way 100% of the time. As long as you and bubba is safe.

    Im not saying this to be hurtful but No one really cares if you won the nobel peace prize or climbed mt Everest when giving birth. They just want to know the sex, name, weight, length and to perhaps cuddle to baby.

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Ellymoe  (21-06-2012),Sariele  (18-06-2012),Wise Enough  (19-06-2012)

  3. #82
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Ishtyban View Post
    Lamby, I know what you mean...But ( always a but) she is being like that herself.

    Saying she would rather poke herself with a sausage, and the disdain she shows for that womans choice is superior behaviour.
    Yes, I agree. Which is why I pointed out earlier that in trying to speak to one group of women she has managed to alienate another.

    It is perfectly possible to talk about your own birth experience with pride, without implying that anything that deviates is inferior.

    There is a distinction I'm trying to highlight here, but I'm having trouble articulating it. It's like how a person with epilepsy might prefer to refer to themselves as "suffering epilepsy" rather than "being epileptic". Epilepsy is a condition they have, but it doesn't define them.

    Similarly, someone can write all about their homebirth experiences, but when their children are all in school, their child-bearing years are behind them, and they still call themselves a "homebirther"... I think this is the distinction she's trying to make.

  4. #83
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,834
    Thanks
    564
    Thanked
    1,962
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Yes, I agree. Which is why I pointed out earlier that in trying to speak to one group of women she has managed to alienate another.

    It is perfectly possible to talk about your own birth experience with pride, yet not imply that anything that deviates is inferior.

    There is a distinction I'm trying to highlight here, but I'm having trouble articulating it. It's like how a person with epilepsy might prefer to refer to themselves as "suffering epilepsy" than "being epileptic". Epilepsy is a condition they have, but it doesn't define them.

    Similarly, someone can write all about their homebirth experiences, but when their children are all in school, their child-bearing years are behind them, and they still call themselves a "homebirther"... I think this is the distinction she's trying to make.
    Yes yes, I get what you mean.

    You can find your own birth empowering and not see anyone elses, as wrong.
    You do not have to make out that your birth choice is better for all, just best for you.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Ishtyban For This Useful Post:

    MinkyJ  (18-06-2012)

  6. #84
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    My friend's c sec scar is mighty close to her 'lady bits'.

    My lady bits are just awesome despite a horribly traumatic vaginal birth.

    I would imagine one who underwent a caesarian would be quite hurt if I said "DP just loves my intact stomach"... just as that comment is hurtful to those who had vaginal births - both who are still 'intact' (which most are) and those whose husbands still love them dearly despite some damage down there.
    Good point about the csec scar. I sort if think overall it's not a big issue. Lady bits wasn't the main point of the article, superiority and inflexibility was.

    Anyways, like willies, lady bits aren't that great to look at the best of times. And chances are,if you're hubby's lucky enough to have sex with you he's thinking about how his ugly little willy feels, not how bad your lady bits or csec scar looks.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    mar  (18-06-2012)

  8. #85
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    18,954
    Thanks
    3,142
    Thanked
    4,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    People can have their own definitions.
    Exactly, don't project your definition onto another woman. What's not traumatic to you might be traumatic for another person and v/v.

  9. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to headoverfeet For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (18-06-2012),lones  (19-06-2012),SassyMummy  (18-06-2012)

  10. #86
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    1,095
    Thanks
    1,201
    Thanked
    466
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think the whole war culture between the c-sect mums and Vb mums, the intervention mums and the natural birthers is ridiculous..

    This article unfortunately encourages these comparisons.. in my opinion.

    Every birth is different and as Diamond eyes said who cares what someone else chooses to do? Thats their choice, their baby, their body, their life and not anyone elses to dictate or criticise

    If you give birth at all (regardless of tummy lady bits drug free, with pain relief home hospital whatever) Youre a trooper in my eyes! There is no 'easy way out'!!

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kiplusthree For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (18-06-2012),Bennos Mummy  (18-06-2012),lones  (19-06-2012)

  12. #87
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5,687
    Thanks
    1,089
    Thanked
    4,057
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Why is it odd? There are people who put their c-section births in their sig too. Is that odd as well?
    Just for the record, mine is an attempt at irony. I created it when I was being told I wasn't an attachment parent, was being asked why I baby wear when I'm obviously not a 'natural' mother etc... on this forum and also in response to the birth identity signatures people have.

  13. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BlissedOut For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (18-06-2012),GreenMama  (18-06-2012),lambjam  (18-06-2012)

  14. #88
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    18,954
    Thanks
    3,142
    Thanked
    4,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I do get what your trying to say lambjam but I really don't see it, maybe I live in a snug warm bubble? I have friends who have birthed loads of different ways and I've never heard one of them be smug or come across as superior.

  15. #89
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Good point about the csec scar. I sort if think overall it's not a big issue. Lady bits wasn't the main point of the article, superiority and inflexibility was.

    Anyways, like willies, lady bits aren't that great to look at the best of times. And chances are,if you're hubby's lucky enough to have sex with you he's thinking about how his ugly little willy feels, not how bad your lady bits or csec scar looks.
    Well her DP loves her despite a small scar, just as mine does despite a small scar down there. I know the point of the article - a PP came in and said "well my husband just LOVES my intact lady bits" - kinda perpetuating the superiority re births.

    I don't care how a baby comes out, we're all mothers. Implying that our husbands won't be attracted to us depending on how our baby came out is just downright rude.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    Bennos Mummy  (18-06-2012),headoverfeet  (18-06-2012)

  17. #90
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,794
    Thanks
    3,395
    Thanked
    3,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Just for the record, mine is an attempt at irony. I created it when I was being told I wasn't an attachment parent, was being asked why I baby wear when I'm obviously not a 'natural' mother etc... on this forum and also in response to the birth identity signatures people have.
    Fair enough. There are others I notice with child's birth order, gender, birth type, eg DD1 age 6 natural birth, DD2 age 4 c-section birth, DS age 2 VBAC. I don't see it as odd myself, or as defining who they are.
    Last edited by share a book; 18-06-2012 at 10:06.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 30-09-2012, 23:17
  2. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-09-2012, 20:51
  3. To all you mothers who's babies sleep through the night
    By summastarlet in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 17-05-2012, 15:23

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Little Rugby NSW
Catch, weave, chase, run, but most of all have FUN! Little Rugby runs a NSW network of fun, safe and non-contact footy classes for BOYS and GIRLS aged 2yrs – 7th birthday.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!