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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    But can't an empowering birth be just as life changing as a disempowering one? Look at those people who climb Mt Everest, those people who I don't know you know what I mean no one tells them they shouldn't feel how they feel no one tells them to stop bragging or feeling good about it. Why the need to tell women how to feel about their births positive or negative? No one tells the women in the Cs can be positive thread to stop bragging about it?
    Actually, I think they do. It may not be overt, but everytime it's referred to as "surgical birth", which I see a lot on here, I think that's exactly what they're being told.

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    I think she came across as exactly what she was complaining about, judgemental and ridiculing.
    If somemone asks I will tell, but I don't often offer up my birth details, to me they were a very personal time, where DP was heavily invovled the whole way, where the end results was that DP and I got to welcome a new child into our lives.
    But I think hte judgement goes both ways. Recently I have felt heavily judged for my vaginal, drug free births.
    I was basically told that an elective c-section was a far more civilised way to deliver a baby.
    Some of the things that were said were,
    the birth was planned at a reasonable hour, no middle of the night birth for her
    it was quiet and serene, no pacing or moaning or groaning
    after she looked lovely with her hair and make up neat, but I would have looked sweaty and dishevelled.
    The list went on, so that birth 'smugness' that was talked about can come from either direction.
    I did resent the fact that Mia made out that the birth was no big deal. Maybe for her the way her birth went didn't matter, for others the journey is just as important as the destination.

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  5. #73
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by AreWeThereYet View Post
    Actually, I think they do. It may not be overt, but everytime it's referred to as "surgical birth", which I see a lot on here, I think that's exactly what they're being told.
    Show me where here on Bubhub it's referred to as a surgical birth?? I have not seen anything but support for women who start threads saying they want an elective Cs.

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  7. #74
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    But can't an empowering birth be just as life changing as a disempowering one?
    Of course! I've had four wonderful, empowering and positive births, and I will never stop being grateful for that. But there's an arrogance, a superiority that some women possess, and it's this competitiveness that she's trying to address. As far as I'm concerned there's just no room for arrogance or superiority in this context.

    As I said earlier, there's a difference between feeling proud of your own achievements and feeling superior to others.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Define safe and healthy?
    You're alive with no major health problems or trauma? I don't know. People can have their own definitions.

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    Lamby, I know what you mean...But ( always a but) she is being like that herself.

    Saying she would rather poke herself with a sausage, and the disdain she shows for that womans choice is superior behaviour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Why is it odd? There are people who put their c-section births in their sig too. Is that odd as well?
    I think it is odd, and it's the same thing as being referred to in the article.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishtyban View Post
    Lamby, I know what you mean...But ( always a but) she is being like that herself.

    Saying she would rather poke herself with a sausage, and the disdain she shows for that womans choice is superior behaviour.
    She was not showing disdain for the woman's choice, but rather demonstrating that it is not a conversation she wanted to have with a stranger at a BBQ!

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Re lady bits... There are pros and cons to caesareans, and it's natural that those who have had them often like to focus on the pros. Intact lady bits is one of these.

    No need to make it into something else .
    My friend's c sec scar is mighty close to her 'lady bits'.

    My lady bits are just awesome despite a horribly traumatic vaginal birth.

    I would imagine one who underwent a caesarian would be quite hurt if I said "DP just loves my intact stomach"... just as that comment is hurtful to those who had vaginal births - both who are still 'intact' (which most are) and those whose husbands still love them dearly despite some damage down there.

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  16. #80
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Of course! I've had four wonderful, empowering and positive births, and I will never stop being grateful for that. But there's an arrogance, a superiority that some women possess, and it's this competitiveness that she's trying to address. As far as I'm concerned there's just no room for arrogance or superiority in this context.

    As I said earlier, there's a difference between feeling proud of your own achievements and feeling superior to others.
    I'm not surprised given her ability to be so opinionated that's she comes across aggressiveness. Look at my 1st post, she attacked just about every choice I made for my births she basically said everything I did was selfish and that my choices were me trying to be controlling and I didn't care about my baby.


 

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